Chapter 2: The Land Rover Arrival

Land Rover park, tyres shine like dem just wash am for Lekki car spa, number plate dey special. Na big car—fresh, new, tyres shine for moonlight. My hope rise small—maybe na helper, maybe na LASTMA. But my mind dey still dey cautious.

I think say na good Samaritan. I dey knock my window, shout: "Abeg, help me call police! Person dey drive drunk dey cause wahala!"

My voice dey shake, but I dey try sound like person wey still get sense. I wave hand, dey plead with my eye.

But hope turn to wahala sharp-sharp.

Na so story change for Nollywood. My spirit just sink as I see the way Porsche madam dey run go the car.

The woman run go the car, dey cry: "Why you just dey come? Dem wan finish me!"

She dey use full drama—cry dey pour, voice dey break. Na so Lagos women dey act for market fight. The Land Rover horn twice, door open.

One man come down.

E tall, skin dey shine. Low cut, big gold chain, prayer bead, gold lion head for wrist. Na the type wey you go call boss for club. The way he step down, you go know say na him dey pay for bottle.

He look her, ask, "Dem beat you?"

Voice deep like generator, e just dey scan area with eyes like CID. I dey size am up, dey try judge if I fit take am if wahala start.

The Porsche woman show her leg wey small blood dey.

Na small scratch, but she dey act like say dem cut her leg commot. She dey shake, dey point the wound, dey whimper. I dey roll my eye.

She dey cry: "See as dem do me!"

She dey lean for him shoulder, dey sniff. She dey add extra tears for effect. E be like she dey audition for new Zeeworld film.

The Land Rover man face change, open boot, carry big spanner, waka come my side.

E no even talk, e no ask. Just go boot, bring out big metal spanner—heavy like say e dey repair truck. My body cold.

I shout, "Oga, abeg make I explain—"

My voice crack. I dey wave hand, dey try beg. My heart dey beat, palms don sweat.

He no send. First hit—window still hold. Second hit—glass crack. Third hit—window burst, glass enter my face, pain dey burn.

The sound loud, sharp like gunshot. Shards cut my cheek, blood dey drip. I shout, but the street empty—only few people dey look, others dey cross to avoid wahala.

He grab my hair, drag me out, dey shout, "So na my wife you dey beat?"

He yank my head like say I be bag of garri. My neck dey pain, glass dey scratch my ear. I dey beg, "Oga, abeg, I no touch her!"

I shout, "Oga, your wife dey drunk, na she dey cause wahala. I no touch her!"

I dey talk am fast, voice high. I dey try use sense, but e no dey hear word. Na only her voice e believe.

He no care. "My wife, I dey pamper her for house, you get mind touch am? I go finish you!"

He chest dey move up and down, vein show for neck. Na pride dey talk, no be sense. Na so some men dey defend rubbish because woman dey cry.

I no fit bear again.

The pain, the injustice, everything. I dey see my own blood, my phone dey ground, my shirt dey wet with zobo and sweat.

If na woman, police no go call am self-defense. But now, na man with weapon dey attack me.

For my mind, e balance now. Na fight for survival.

Why I go just dey look?

Who dey save me? Nobody. Na Naija, if you too gentle, dem go use you shine shoe.

I grab him for neck.

My hand strong, I squeeze as e dey struggle. I dey channel all the frustration, all the pain.

He no strong reach me. He try remove my hand, e no work. Him face dey turn purple, eye dey roll.

I dey hear am dey gasp. I dey warn am: "Oga, abeg, leave me!" But he no dey hear, I no fit loose.

Porsche madam panic, dey shout: "Leave my husband!"

She dey run, shoe dey fly, wig dey shift. She dey cry louder now, like say na me wan kill her family.

She run go her car, carry small bottle, rush back, spray am for my face.

Before I fit dodge, na so pepper spray enter my eye, my nose, my mouth. I scream, roll for ground.

The pepper burn pass when you chop suya wey dem forget to remove pepper for edge—eye dey water, body dey shake. Hot pain enter my nose—no fit describe.

Na like fire dey roast me from inside. My body dey shake, my head dey spin, tears dey pour like say rain start.

E pain! Every breath na fire for my chest and throat. I dey cough, every cough dey draw more pain.

The thing dey burn like hot coal. I dey beat ground, dey shout. Voice don turn to croak.

I try hold myself, but body no gree. I drag one big breath of that pepper.

I dey struggle, dey gasp. Na only God know wetin dey keep me alive.

She aim the bottle for my eye. I loose her husband, use hand block face.

My vision dey blur. I dey pray say make I no go blind forever.

The thing still touch my hand, some enter my eye.

My hand dey burn, eye dey hot like say pepper soup enter am. Na only pain full everywhere.

I go blind—eye no gree open at all.

Darkness full my front. I dey try blink, nothing. I dey fear, my heart dey hammer.

My hand dey shake, pain too much, I wan tear my skin.

I dey try wash pepper, but hand no reach. I dey pray for miracle, dey call God for my mind.

Pepper spray.

Na that day I know say film dey lie.

For film, heroine go spray villain, no finish am, run, villain go catch am again.

But after this pepper spray, I know say na fake.

For real life, person no dey recover sharp-sharp. Na only movie go lie say villain fit open eye run chase person. I dey beg for air.

My chest dey burn. I dey hold chest, dey cough, dey vomit.

Sputum and blood mix for my mouth. My throat dey scratch, I dey feel like I dey die.

I grab water bottle for car, try wash face, but Land Rover man use that chance drag me by hair.

He no pity, just dey yank me like goat for Sallah. My leg dey drag for ground.

If na fight, I go finish am.

If to say my eye dey open, my strength dey. But now, I be like dead body wey dem dey carry go mortuary.

But pepper spray don finish me. I fall for ground, chest dey burn like fire, fear of death dey catch me.

E be like say my spirit wan comot from my body. My leg dey weak, head dey pound.

I dey fear say I fit die from this thing. Every breath na wahala.

Inside my head, I dey talk to my ancestors: "Abeg, no carry me now. E never reach my time."

Anybody wey don fry pepper know say you must open window, on fan, or you go choke.

Anybody wey dey kitchen, dey blend ata rodo, know the wahala. If you no wise, pepper smoke go turn you to mumu instantly.

Anybody wey don cut pepper touch eye know the pain.

Just small, e fit humble even strongest man. This one pass all those kitchen accident.

This one hundred times worse.

Na hell fire. I dey swear for my mind, this no be ordinary pepper. E be like say she mix am with juju.

The Porsche madam see as dem drag me out, she run come, slap me: "Come out! Who you call 718 driver? Open your eye well!"

Her slap weak, but my face pain. My spirit don weak, my body don surrender.

I no get power fight back.

All my pride, all my anger, all don melt. I be like pikin wey dem flog for assembly ground.

All the pain I don feel for life no reach this pepper spray.

My papa cane, teacher slap, football injury—none reach this one. Na pure wickedness.

I dey cough, dey vomit blood.

Blood dey my mouth, dey paint my shirt. I dey look like person wey just survive accident for highway.

Yes, no be just acid—my throat don cut from cough, blood dey come out.

My breath dey short, my chest dey catch. My mind dey race: "God, abeg, no let me die for road."

I dey tell myself make I hold am, but body no gree. I just dey cough, dey suffer.

All my body dey pain, my spirit dey low. I dey wish say ambulance go just land come save me.

Dem both hold my hair, drag me like dead goat.

I dey twist, dey groan, but dem no send. I dey feel like meat for butcher hand.

My hand and leg dey scratch for gutter. She press my head for car bonnet, dey grind teeth: "You dey see am now? Na over two hundred million naira car be this! Who car worth only five million?"

Her voice dey ring for my ear. The money dey her head, her pride dey for road. I dey think, how car dey worth pass life for her mind?

I no fit see. Eye no dey open.

I dey squint, dey wish say water go just pour for my face. The world dark for my front.

She dey vex: "Kneel down, talk say you no get sense!"

She dey push my head, dey force my knee down. I dey struggle, no wan kneel for her front. For my mind, I dey say, "Tufiakwa!"

I dey struggle to talk: "You… you no dey fear law…"

I dey choke on words. My throat dey block, but my spirit dey try push voice out.

She laugh: "Law? Na me be law! My family get money pass your generation!"

Her laughter dey cold, wicked. Na so some people dey feel say money na shield for any crime.

Land Rover man squat for my side, slap my head: "Guy, kneel down beg my wife, pay repair, make e end here."

His slap weak, but e pain. He dey act like area boy. The money for their hand dey enter their head.

I hold teeth: "Lie lie… I go call police…"

Even if my mouth dey shake, I talk am. If dem kill me, make my ghost fight them for court.

"Call police! Try am! You think say you fit win rich man? See road."

He dey mock me, dey point the empty street. For Lagos, money dey rule. Poor man dey find justice, rich man dey buy am.

He show me phone, bank balance.

I no fit see the zeros.

But I hear am dey boast, "See am, e full, e plenty, e no dey finish!" For her eye, na money be power. For my eye, na wickedness.

He say, "I get over eighty houses, millions dey enter every year. Even if I break your leg, go jail three years, I still dey chop money. Wetin you get?"

Na so e dey. Some people dey for this country wey money dey enter from every corner. Poor man dey count change, rich man dey boast houses like pikin dey count sweet.

I no understand.

I dey ask myself, how life fit balance? I dey think, na so God design am?

Why some people no fit buy house for life, others get eighty?

For my mind, e no fair. I dey pray make my own children no suffer like this. Wetin be our offence for this country?

Land Rover man search my car, see my license, snap am, talk: "Now I get your address. If your parents dey jam accident every time, if your pikin dey fear go school because of beating, how you go feel?"

Na threat. Pure intimidation. I dey shiver. Dem dey use fear control me, make I surrender.

The woman dey laugh, cover mouth: "You fit run, but when you sell your house, dem go pour red paint for your door. Abi you go just abandon the house?"

She dey boast, dey flex her wickedness. Red paint—Naija code for 'we dey come for you.' Na cultist style.

She squat, dey sneer: "No wahala, lose house no mean anything to you, abi? No tell me say na only one house your family get?"

She dey talk am with pride. To her, everybody wey no get mansion be mumu. I dey pity her own soul.

Land Rover man talk: "You get two options: call police and do as I talk, or kneel down, beg my wife, pay money."

Na pure extortion. For their mouth, police be option only for show. I dey check if my legs go carry me run.

I know say dem no dey joke.

Their eyes cold, no mercy. Na person wey get everything dey quick destroy person wey get nothing.

Dem fit do anything.

If I call police, e no go affect their money. Dem fit still send people come disturb me and my family.

For Nigeria, na so e be. Money dey buy law, dey buy muscle, dey buy silence.

Poor man fit use law find justice. But rich man fit use money frustrate poor man till e tire.

E pain me. Na so my own case go end? I dey reason if I go relocate go village after tonight.

I dey breathe, dey cough, dey pray make person pass call police.

My prayer na say, "God, abeg, send helper." Even one Okada man with loud voice go help, but nobody dey.

But for 2am, road empty.

Na only God, mosquito, and witch dey waka for that time. I dey see my life flash.