Chapter 3: Old Wounds, Old Trials

1

"Ifeoma."

The Judge call my name again.

I sharply lower my head, my hand just dey stir the hot soup for the pot, voice dull, "I never see her."

I try make my voice steady, even as my inside dey quiver. The pot dey bubble, the aroma dey hide my fear small. I dey pray make nobody see say my fingers dey tremble as I dey hold spoon.

From the corner of my eye, I see Obinna stand with him hands behind him back, dey look the small Bridge of No Return.

Na him usual posture—serious, face hard like Sango shrine stone. He dey pretend say e no dey watch me, but I sabi say his spirit dey press my own. E get as breeze just cold pass for my back that moment.

As he hear my voice, him eyes sharp, cold like blade.

If to say look fit cut person, na so I for don scatter that day. His eyes fit freeze River Niger. My heart just do kpim for my chest.

I pretend say nothing dey, sprinkle small white sugar inside the soup. Na something from land of the living; Mama Nkechi soup dey always bitter, but me I don dey add small sugar make e soft small. I remember as Mama use sugar hide bitterleaf taste for soup, say pikin no suppose dey suffer. The way I dey pour am, I dey hide hand small. Na only me and Mama Nkechi sabi say soup fit get small sweet taste. For underworld, na strong thing to do. If dem catch you, dem fit say you dey miss home.

"Why you dey spoil spirit soup with sugar? You dey miss that world, abi?" Obinna just ask me like that.

E shock me. I never expect am. Him voice deep, carry that spirit echo. The whole kitchen quiet—na only my spoon dey click for pot.

Him voice shock me so tay I almost drop the spoon, my body just dey shake.

I hold the spoon tight, try balance. The fear hold my chest. I remember as Obinna dey shout my name for last life, as e dey command me like servant, no care say I dey pain.

E be like say dem drag me back to that land of the living for my last life, when Obinna comot my backbone and dey whisper for my ear: "Amarachi, no fear. Your backbone go grow back. Nkechi no fit wait again…"

Rain dey beat roof that night, cold breeze dey enter window. Even the way he dey talk, e dey carry heavy promise, but I sabi say na lie full am. The pain wey dey my waist that time, na only God fit understand.

I dey pain, dey beg am make he stop, but for him mind, I no even reach half of Nkechi.

All my cry na waste. He no dey see me, no dey hear me. Even if I die, e no go shake am.

Him no even know say I be ordinary spirit official, my power small. Once he comot my backbone, e no fit grow back—unless he go Spirit Realm go pluck Sevenfold Radiance Palm for me.

That plant na legend for Spirit Realm. Old men dey talk say even kings dey wait hundred years for just one seed. Me, small spirit like me, how I wan take get am?

If not, na so I go dey cripple forever.

That time, nobody fit help me. Even if you carry all the strong spirits come, e no go change anything. I dey my bed, dey count days like prisoner.

So I turn cripple, dey bed everyday, dey hope say Obinna go bring the Sevenfold Radiance Palm make my backbone grow again.

Day go pass, night go pass, every sound for corridor dey sound like hope. But Obinna no dey return. The only person wey dey show face na Mama Nkechi, sometimes she go drop water, sometimes she go just shake head. My heart dey wither like old yam for dry season.

But Nkechi, wey no dey ever stay one place, waka enter Northward Hill, wild animal pursue am, injure her legs and hands bad.

Dem say wild bush dog for Northward Hill bite her leg, blood no gree stop. Nkechi stubborn, she waka enter with pride. As dem drag am, na only her shout dey wake me from sleep. When dem carry her back, blood full everywhere. My own pain come reduce small, I begin pity am—even though she na the reason my life scatter.

That Sevenfold Radiance Palm fit grow backbone, fit even make flesh and bone heal.

Dem say the leaf shine like firefly for dark bush, spirit elders dey guard am well. Everybody dey talk about am as if na magic. Some say the leaf dey glow for night. If person lucky, the palm go bloom just once for thousand years. Some go kneel for altar, dey pray for just one. Na so the story dey go.

For Spirit Realm, e dey take thousand years for just one to bloom.

If dem put you for waiting list, you fit old for spirit before e ever reach your turn. Sometimes, I dey wonder if all these things na punishment for past life, or na just spirit wahala.

If person think am well, e funny—after I share bed with Obinna for ten years, he still choose Nkechi over me.

I dey remember all the times wey we share laughter, share food, even run for rain together. But last last, he no send my pain. For his heart, na Nkechi be number one.

He tell me, "You and me no be ordinary people; our body dey immortal. Nkechi different. I promise her parents say I go carry her go Spirit Realm as immortal servant, to pay them back for all their kindness to me for land of the living."

As he talk this thing, I dey see his eyes, no single pity inside. E just dey count my pain as normal thing. The promise to her parents—na that one dey control am. I dey look am, dey wonder if na true love or just pride.

"Amarachi, I know say your heart soft pass anybody own. Just wait small again, abeg."

He leave before I fit talk anything.

I dey look am back as he waka comot. The air cold, my chest dey squeeze. My hand weak, tears dey flow without shame. Na for that night, I understand why heart dey break—spirit or human, e no matter.

I dey lie for mat, dey count ceiling cracks, dey wait make morning reach. I cough blood, na there I understand why Eldest Sister and Second Sister craze after their own waka for land of the living.

Pain dey make person lose sense. Some people go talk say e no reach, but when heartbreak hold your spirit, na so madness dey start. I dey pity my sisters, and myself join.

That world, e no get heart at all.

All the hope, all the sweet talk, na only sand e dey turn to at the end. I dey pray make I forget everything, but my body still dey remember.

So I decide say I go leave am behind, return to underworld.

I gather small strength wey remain, drag myself cross Bridge of No Return. The cold wey catch me, na only people wey don cross fit sabi am. But at least, nobody fit hurt me again for here.

Obinna soon find me, vex dey boil for him body. He grip my neck. "Amarachi, why you tamper with the Sevenfold Radiance Palm?"

The anger for his face dey burn like fire. His hand cold, his voice fit wake dead man. All the underworld spirits wey dey pass just waka far, nobody wan near that kind fight.