Chapter 1: A Cold Joke Turns Deadly

Before I go crash for night, I tell my AI assistant, "Awei, abeg, crack one cold joke wey go make my teeth dey chatter."

I just settle well under my wrapper, Harmattan breeze dey blow like say e wan carry person. Mattress dey sweet my body. I clear throat, feeling playful, and repeat, "Awei, abeg, crack one cold joke."

Awei reply me: "There is a murderer in the building."

That moment, everywhere just still. I pause, my heart beat one strong gbim like NEPA don bring light. I glance window, ear dey stand for any small noise, the Harmattan chill even feel sharper. For split second, fear hold me, but I just hiss. This kain joke no even funny at all. I tell am, "Abeg, no dey play that kain play. Try another one."

Next thing, red lights start dey flash inside my room.

The red glow paint my room like suya stand for night, everything red and sharp. My body come dey shake small. Omo, e be like say something serious dey sup.

"Warning, warning, do not go out."

"Based on calculations, if you go out now, your probability of survival is zero."

I just freeze for my bed. Her chest stuck like eba when water finish—she no fit move. Heartbeat dey drum for my ear like talking drum for wedding. Wetin be all this now? I never sign up for horror film this night.

The red lights just dey blink anyhow, my body come dey shake small.

I never even reach one month for this house. When I buy am, dem talk say the smart home system go last for years, but now e be like say wahala don dey.

I remember as the agent dey boast say, "Oga, this your smart house go protect you pass juju." Now see as my heart dey cut anyhow for middle of the night.

"Awei, off the lights."

I talk am with fear for my voice.

I even add, "Abeg, make everywhere calm, I no get mind for all these your gra gra."

"Received. All lights have been turned off for you."

Everywhere just turn dark immediately.

You go think say darkness go bring peace, but na only my breathing I dey hear, heavy and fast. For small seconds, I dey pray make all these thing na just AI wahala.

I breathe out. At least the system never spoil—the money no waste after all.

I just dey hope say na ordinary software glitch, not real gbege.

This villa apartment dey for outskirts, dem dey claim say na next-generation smart residence be this.

Na GRA wey all the fine-fine people dey rush come, with correct tarred road and security wey get sense. My people for village go hear say I get smart house, dem go think say na jazz.

Every house get correct smart gadgets and AI butler wey you fit control with voice or app.

E be like magic sometimes. From kitchen to bedroom, even toilet get sensor. Sometimes, I dey use am flex for my guys: "Alexa who? Abeg, na Awei dey run things for here!"

Awei na the name wey I give my AI butler.

I remember say I pick the name after my first heartbreak, say make I dey call AI the same name wey my ex use for her dog. I laugh small inside darkness.

E get the latest big AI brain, sabi reason deep and fit search internet sharp sharp.

Awei dey reason pass some people I know sef. If to say Awei dey do JAMB, e for get all the answers. The way e dey pick my accent, dey form sharp guy, e dey sweet me sometimes. But this night, e be like e too sabi.

As I dey think am, my mind begin dey shake again.

If the smart home dey work well, then that warning fit true o.

The kind warning wey Awei give no get time for play. If e dey accurate, wahala dey. I touch my chest, rub my head small. Na so fear dey start.

Maybe e don see the murderer for the building’s CCTV.

E fit mean say e spot something for camera. And na this same AI dey monitor everywhere for estate—e no dey sleep, e no dey chop.

I give another command: "Awei, show me the real-time surveillance footage."

My voice dey tremble, but I try use my best I-too-get-mind tone. Better make I see with my own koro-koro eyes.

Awei get access to public CCTV. One second later, sixteen camera feeds show for my flat-screen.

My TV just light up, screen divide like compound wey landlord dey share. Na so so different angles dey flash.

The elevator, ground floor lobby, corner outside the building…

I scan the screens: elevator just empty, lobby too—only that security chair wey Musa dey like sit no get anybody. Outside, streetlight just dey shine dull yellow. No sign of blood or anything wey resemble ogbanje.

But all those bloody scenes wey dey my mind—dead body, blood, murderer—I no see any.

My mind begin form one kind movie for head: maybe person go see leg for corridor or hand for staircase. But everywhere just dry.

Everything just dey normal.

Even that my neighbor wey like jog for corridor, e no dey move. Everywhere still like 3am for village.

E be like say something dey miss, but I no fit place am.

I try remember whether my eyes dey deceive me or na the AI dey do April Fool in September.

Maybe na the software just get small wahala.

Abi na network dey craze? Na Naija we dey, even AI dey tire sometimes.

Abeg, make I no stress myself. Sleep go better pass.

I try convince myself say I no get time for all these AI drama—person need rest. Tomorrow get as e be.

After I baff finish, I just fall for bed, dey listen to sleep music wey Awei dey play for me.

The water for shower dey warm, e wash away small of the tension. Before I settle, I ask Awei make e put better sleep playlist—E go play that smooth, low-key jam.

"Singing your song on the rooftop, on the rooftop with the one you love."

Rooftop, rooftop…

I nod head small, but suddenly, as I hear that line, my body just cold, sleep run from my eyes.

"Awei, show me the rooftop surveillance."

The way I take shout the command, fear don grip me. My voice crack, but Awei understand quick.

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Na so I dey wait, hear my own heartbeat, feel sweat dey form for my forehead—even when AC dey blow. The TV dey load like network slow.