Chapter 1: House Rules

The husband wey I buy no dey ever hear word.

Sometimes e be like say God purposely dash me wahala just to test my patience. As I dey look am for that corner, head raised like goat wey stubborn, I just wonder if na my village people dey do me. For this my whole life, na now I come carry person wey no dey even get ear for advice. True true, marriage nor be for everybody.

He go refuse to work during day, but for night e go nearly kill himself with work.

If you see am for day, you go think say na person wey dem swear for—lie down, hands for chest, dey count ceiling. But when night reach, he go turn like say na new engine dem put for him body, energy wey no dey during day go suddenly appear, even neighbors go dey ask me if na juju I use for am.

As my waist dey pain me, I make am kneel down for front of the bed, collar and whip for my hand, dey set the ground rules.

I even dey imagine as I go call Mama Ejiro tomorrow to help me rub hot balm for my waist. Mama Ejiro sabi press bone well, she go even pray small prayer make my body strong again. As I dey shake the whip, the room quiet, only breeze dey enter from small window. The smell of last night’s fried oil still dey hang for air, mix with small scent of camphor. I clear my throat, give am side-eye. "You hear me so? Make sure say you respect this house rules!"

Na so, WhatsApp status just flash for my eye:

*[Chai! This side character na just pig butcher o, yet she fit lock up the local chief’s son as male slave, even force am kneel! She go see am after New Yam Festival, punishment sure!]*

*[This thing dey vex me! The supporting character dey disgrace the chief’s son every night, lock am up, whip am during day. No worry, once the main man remember who he be, he and the main woman go deal with this supporting character well!]*

*[No wahala, my babies, the chief’s son belong to our correct main woman. This one na just practice for the supporting character~]*

My finger just pause for screen, eye narrow—people no dey tire for wahala. I just curl my lips, hiss.

If my mama see these kain WhatsApp gist, she go say make I throw phone for soakaway. People too sabi put mouth for matter wey no concern them. My own na to do my work and chop my life jejely.

Whip land with one loud sound.

Na the kind sound wey echo reach neighbor room sef. If no be say e dey late, I for fear say Mama Nkechi go come knock ask whether I dey slaughter goat inside house. Na so e be.

Chief’s son? E go even make everything sweet pass.

Abeg, make e even get title pass, e no go change how I go handle am for this room. Na man like others.