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Bride Price Wahala Exploded / Chapter 2: Family Pride and Market Talk
Bride Price Wahala Exploded

Bride Price Wahala Exploded

Author: Tara Ellison


Chapter 2: Family Pride and Market Talk

My brother-in-law finished reading, stuffed the A4 paper full of rules into my hand, and grinned, “Keep am well o. When you reach house, frame am.”

He knack tongue for teeth, as if e dey play, but nobody laugh. Some people burst laugh, that Naija laughter wey get wahala inside. My auntie tap me small, whisper, “Na wetin eye never see.”

People around started laughing.

Me, I couldn’t even force a smile.

My lips stiff like kpomo wey no soak—e no gree bend. My mind dey run calculations—abeg, wetin be this?

“Daddy, Mummy, we never talk about this security deposit before.”

I try keep voice calm, but e tremble small. My papa for back dey squeeze handkerchief, e knuckles white.

And this so-called code of conduct? Abeg, e too much.

I even have to pay my mother-in-law for giving birth to children? If we get two kids, that’s ₦30 million?

One elderly man for bride family clear throat, adjust cap like say e wan talk sense, but him just keep quiet last last. Na only God know wetin dey his mind.

My father-in-law smiled like say nothing dey. “Good son-in-law, e never too late to mention am now.”

He cross leg, sip drink small, as if na business negotiation we dey do. That kind smile wey you no fit read.

“But ₦50 million is too much, we—”

My mother-in-law just cut me off. “E show your family’s seriousness. You think say e no reach?”

Her eyes sharp, voice strong. Even her gele self bend as if e dey vex join. My own mama shift for chair, no talk but her face tell all.

I frowned.

Talking about seriousness, my family don already do plenty.

We gave a bride price of ₦28.8 million, no argument.

Some people dey remind each other, “Na true, their family try well-well.” My uncle dey nod head, dey tap leg on ground. Even the MC for event dey look confused.

A week before the wedding, my girlfriend’s parents suddenly asked for another ₦5 million. We still agreed.

Dem talk say na for extra drinks and hall. My papa talk say, “No wahala, love no get price.”

Three days before the wedding, they requested another ₦10 million for the wedding cars. After discussing, my family still agreed.

I remember my uncle joke say, “Which car una wan buy, Bentley?” We just laugh am off that day.

But now, on the day we came to pick up the bride, they went even further and demanded ₦50 million up front.

You think say I be Dangote?

My groomsman for back mutter, “Abi dem wan buy oil block?” Na only me hear am, but the thing sweet me small for inside.

Some of the bride’s relatives started making noise.

“Who dey marry wey no dey spend money?”

“My brother and sister-in-law suffer raise their daughter, abeg security deposit dey normal.”

“Your family dey do business, abeg, no be stingy.”

Na real market talk. Some old women dey nod, some just dey chop chin-chin, soak garri with malt, as if na ordinary gist.

I was just vexed and disappointed with my girlfriend’s parents’ greed.

But, after all, today na my wedding day.

I forced a smile and swore my girlfriend would never suffer if she married me.

My face dey pain me from that smile, but I gree make my family no lose face. Everybody dey look me, dey wait wetin I go do.

No.

I suggested, “How about after the wedding, both families sit down and discuss this matter together?”

I try bring sense inside, but the air tight. Everybody dey reason their pocket.

No.

Even my groomsmen tried to beg them, but nothing worked.

Everybody dey wait wetin go happen next. But for my mind, I know say after today, nothing go ever remain the same for both families.

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