Chapter 11: Wahala No Dey Sleep

Anger just choke me.

I just dey boil. For Naija, once anger enter body, you fit move mountain.

I call Halima again.

My hand dey shake. I ready for any reply.

She reject three times.

I no give up. If wahala go end, make e end well.

Fourth time, she block me.

I just look phone, hiss. For my mind, I dey plan next strategy.

My face just dey dark. I dey think say make Aunty Grace handle am, when—

As I dey think, my phone buzz. Oge, my roommate, no dey rest.

My roommate message:

“Morayo, check Twitter. Halima dey drag you again.”

My heart skip beat. For Naija, once Twitter wahala start, no peace again.

My eye twitch.

I dey vex, but I gats check am.

I download Twitter again, as I log in, insults begin fly again.

Omo! My mentions don turn battleground. Everybody dey drop curse, dey drag me up and down.

I ignore dem, go Halima page. Just two minutes ago, she drop new post.

If you see as people dey retweet, you go fear. Her fans na real wahala people.

Na screenshot of our call log.

Na so she dey do. E pain me. For Naija, everything na receipt.

“So scary. People dey too wicked now. I no know wetin I do, but she fit get my number, dey call and threaten me. Fans, abeg protect your privacy. No follow my mistake.”

She dey form victim. Na so dem dey do for this country. Play innocent, make people support you.

For screenshot, my number dey hide, but sharp people crack am.

Na Naija be that. Nothing dey safe. Dem go decode number like FBI.

My phone begin ring—calls, texts, no stop.

Omo, I just dey look am. Calls dey enter like say na bank alert.

“Bully, you dey threaten Baby H? Go die!”

“How you dirty reach, you do rubbish still dey disturb Baby H!”

“If you call Baby H again, I go find your house beat you!”

“……”

Na so threat dey fly everywhere. Even some people dey form hard guy for DM.

Insult full everywhere.

I just shake head. For my mind, I dey wonder how Naija fit get peace.

No change face, I just pull my SIM card, throw am for dustbin.

Na so I remove battery. Wahala no fit reach me if I no dey online.

Perfect.

I just rest my back for chair, close eye. For Naija, sometimes, na to switch off be the solution.

Halima.

Make that your fake pity rot for there.

I smile small. E go reach everybody one day. For this life, na who get mind dey win.

But for this Lagos, wahala no dey ever sleep. I just dey wait for next round.