Chapter 2: Game Play and Game Chat

As I dey do my Arena of Valor promotion match, enemy wey I face na “Baby H’s Halima.” Once game start, she just type for all-chat:

Her fingers dey sharp for keyboard o! Na so she drop am fast. I just dey reason say wahala dey cook. As game load finish, my mind no rest, because this kain match, na ego go dey fly up and down.

“Abeg, who go hype me small?”

You go think say person dey beg for birthday gift. E weak me. She dey find attention by fire by force. She even add: “Una no sabi hype? No wahala, I go hype myself. Baby H for life!”

Nobody for our side talk anything.

Everybody just dey mute. You go know say Naija people sabi mind their own business, especially when drama dey near.

She no stop: “Abeg, nobody? Musa, abeg scatter dem.”

For my mind, I just dey laugh. See as she dey call her bodyguard for game, like say she dey call agbero make dem arrange person for bus stop.

Na so their Musa begin finish us anyhow. Final score na 0–20.

E pain me! Musa just dey carry us dey do training dummy. I even reason say I fit throw controller, but I hold myself. If you see the way he dey play, you go know say dem dey train for under bridge. E be like say his hand dey touch and go, pad dey fly for his palm like him dey play game for Yaba arcade.

After the match, I just click Musa’s profile anyhow.

As I open am, I come dey wonder who this Musa really be. For Naija, if person dey too sabi something, you gats check him matter well.

See say their avatar get small national badge—e mean say na top player for the whole server.

No be beans o! E mean say the guy na real pro, no be all these internet noise makers. For Naija, na only few fit carry that kain badge. I con respect am small for mind.

Omo, skill pass skill. I just sigh. Lucky say I get star-protection card, so I queue enter another game.

If no be for that card, I for just drop rank like pure water for rainy season. I tap my chest small, thank God.

Who go believe—na the same Musa and Halima I jam again.

See as wahala dey follow person. For Naija, dem dey talk say trouble dey wear shoe, na you go know if e fit catch you.

Halima sabi me sharp. This time, as game load finish, she come tap my name:

She get eagle eye. Sharp girl no dey carry last for Naija online wahala.

“No be you, that Morayo from last match? So, you go hype me this time? I fit tell Musa make e pity you small.”

For my mind, I dey shake head. See as she dey carry herself like queen for Twitter. This kain talk na only for Naija babe wey dey proud.

I just reply with plenty dots.

I just bone. For Naija, sometimes silence pass insult. I just let the chat space dey full with dot, make she dey reason wetin I dey plan.

I just think say she be small pikin wey dey do over-sabi.

Some people just dey like wahala too much. Na Naija way. Small thing, dem go carry am for head like gala.

But as I no talk, she reason say I dey find her trouble.

Na so. For this our side, silence dey vex person pass insult. She con dey push matter.

So for the whole match, Halima just dey follow Musa dey hunt me alone.

E weak me. See as grown babe dey use game pursue person like say na village people dey her back.

Anywhere I show for map, na so my screen go black next second.

I just dey see "defeat" like say dem dey dash am for promo.

She even waka reach my dead body, begin type insult.

Na real wah. For Naija game, this kain thing dey pain pass when NEPA take light for final lap of Champions League.

“Morayo, talk something nice, we go free you.”

“You still no go beg?”

“Abeg, no end the game yet, dive her again.”

It come be like say dem dey do townhall for my matter inside game. She dey find my trouble well. Omo, dem dey do me like JAMB question—no escape, everywhere tight.

I hold myself for long, dey look my 0–16 score, finally type:

For my mind, I dey count how many insult I go swallow. Na so my patience finish like garri for hostel, I just type jejely. My thumb dey shake, sweat dey my palm. I just type fast, no look back.

“Abeg, push tower make I start next game.”

Halima reply sharp:

The way she reply, you go think say na head of cult for game.

“Omo, person dey rush.”

“Me I no dey push, na you I wan kill. Wetin you wan do?”

“……”

She just dey do like say na only her get mouth for game. E weak me. For Naija, dem go call am "chop slap for mouth" kind wahala.