Chapter 6: Close Encounters and Castles

There were four desks in our office. Lillian used to sit far from me, but after a renovation and a new file cabinet, she moved to the seat right across from me.

Suddenly, every morning started with her sliding into the chair across from mine, her laptop glowing with unread emails. The proximity was both a blessing and a curse.

Now, every time I looked up, I could admire her delicate face and, occasionally, her impressive cleavage up close.

It was impossible not to notice. Some days, I’d catch myself staring too long, then panic and dive back into my work, hoping she hadn’t seen.

Some days, my inner morality and my dirty thoughts were at war all day—who could stand that?

My conscience lectured me on and off, but desire always seemed to win. I started taking longer coffee breaks, just to clear my head.

Most of the time, my better judgment lost the fight, and I’d find myself sneaking glances I knew I shouldn’t.

It was pathetic, but I couldn’t help myself. I felt like a teenager again, all hormones and no self-control.

I tried to play it cool, but whenever I caught a glimpse of the forbidden zone, my mind went blank.

I’d freeze in place, heart pounding, praying no one else noticed.

Once, Lillian happened to look up and caught me staring. She immediately covered her neckline and shot me a glare.

Her look was ice-cold—enough to make me want to shrink into my chair. I fumbled for my water bottle, pretending I’d been lost in thought.

That day, Lillian set up a wall of books between our desks to block my wandering eyes.

It was a makeshift fortress—four thick textbooks lined up like castle walls. Message received: Do Not Enter.

I was mortified. With my big desires and thin skin, I was sure Lillian now saw me as a total creep.

I spent the rest of the week barely making eye contact, convinced that every whisper in the hallway was about me.

It felt like I’d fallen into an ice pit. All my dirty thoughts evaporated, and for a long time, I didn’t dare look her in the eye.

I considered switching desks, or even jobs, just to avoid the humiliation. My confidence was shot.