Chapter 3: Family Values, Family Sacrifice

2.

"Hang in there? How exactly am I supposed to hang in there? You make it sound so easy."

I started pacing, words spilling out. "Our son just started first grade. All his routines and habits have to be set now, and it’s a huge transition for everyone. He needs to be picked up and dropped off, needs help with homework."

"Ava just started preschool. She doesn’t know the rules yet, there’s so much to figure out. And you remember all those growth journals and craft projects I did for Ethan for three years? You promised you’d handle it for Ava next time."

"Other people have family to help. Most of my friends thought it was nuts, letting your in-laws move in. But what could I do? Derek called it 'family values.' Your parents moved in with us for retirement when they were just fifty. Every month, living expenses and medical bills pile up. I never complained, but now, for your own career, you didn’t even talk to me—you just dump all this on me."

"Derek, you’re not just selfish—you’re unbelievable."

I was emotional, my voice rising higher than I’d ever let it before. The walls seemed to close in. Outside, Derek’s mother started banging on the door: "You were banging around so loud this morning, I bet the whole block heard you. Natalie, don’t raise your voice at Derek. He’s a man, it’s not right for you to scold him like this. Besides, it’s already ten at night—the kids are asleep, don’t wake them up. My back is killing me; if they wake up, you’ll have to handle it yourself."

Derek shot up. "Mom, I’m talking with Natalie, please go back to your room."

His mother muttered, "Can’t even say a word," and shuffled off.

I caught my reflection—hard eyes, pinched mouth—and thought, Is this really who I’ve become?

All of this, I owed to the man in front of me—the one calmly laying out his plans, like none of it would hurt anyone but me.