Chapter 5: Goodbye, or Good Riddance

4.

He shook his head, looking away. "I didn’t tell them. Their health isn’t great—no need to worry them. And it’s Ukraine, but not in the war zone. It’s safe. When the time comes, I’ll just tell them I’m on a business trip in the States."

My jaw dropped. "So if I hadn’t found out, you would’ve waited until tonight to tell me?"

He dropped his head, silent.

I looked in the mirror and forced a bitter smile.

I told myself: He’s not worth it. This man really isn’t worth it.

He’s selfish, cowardly, weak, and irresponsible. All these years, he’s played the good guy, but the second his own interests were at stake, he’d throw anyone under the bus.

I pulled the blanket up, lay down, and said from under the covers, "Since nothing I say can change your mind, forget it. Have a safe trip. I want to sleep alone tonight—go to the guest room."

My voice came out sharper than I meant, but for once, I didn’t care. I felt him standing there for a long time. Only when he thought I was really asleep did he quietly open the door and leave.

The next day, I got up at six-thirty, made breakfast for the kids, zipped up their backpacks. The smell of burnt toast mixed with the hum of cartoons from the living room. Somewhere, a neighbor’s dog barked as I buckled them into the car. When I got home at eight to get ready for work, Derek was already gone.

His suitcase was gone, half his closet empty.

Derek’s mother saw me staring at the empty closet and said, "Derek’s gone on a business trip. Remember to check in on him more. He’s working hard out there. Last night I saw him alone in the guest room, light on all night. You got up early to make breakfast, making so much noise—the whole block could hear you. Did you see Derek’s dark circles? It was scary."

Her words bounced off me like hail on a windshield, but I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to scream, but years of biting my tongue kept me quiet. Instead, I felt my anger curdle into something sharp and cold.

As the front door clicked shut, the house felt emptier than ever. I wondered if I’d ever let him back in.