Chapter 5: Divorce and New Freedom

Before the woman commot, she still dey talk, "I go send you address, abeg come quick."

She dey waka out, still dey beg. I dey shake head. Na so Naija babes dey do now?

Femi just jam door for her face.

E slam am. If door get mouth, e for shout. The sound loud.

E turn face me: "Why you come back early? You chop? You want anything? Make I order food?"

E dey act movie. E dey try clean ground with mouth. I dey look am, dey wonder if na me dey wrong.

E act like say nothing happen, no shame at all.

As if say nothing spoil, as if say no be my own house. Na wah!

But e dey talk pass normal.

E voice dey shake. You go know say e dey hide something, but pride no go let am confess.

Me, I no talk anything.

I just dey look. Sometimes, silence dey loud pass talk. I dey wait make e finish drama.

Femi go drawer find cigarette.

E dey search up and down, drawer dey open close. E dey fumble.

Suddenly, I remember—Femi once love one babe wey hate smoke. She talk say she no want secondhand smoke, and that time, e stop to smoke.

That babe fine, classy. Femi dey run after her, dey do everything to please am. When she talk, e dey hear.

But that girl later go abroad, dem break up because of distance.

Dem yarn say long distance dey hard. Na so dem break, Femi heart break join. Since then, e no dey send woman.

If to say dem no break, maybe I for no get chance.

Na true. That babe fit marry am, na me for dey single dey wait miracle.

After that, Femi no stop smoke for anybody—not even me.

Since that time, e just dey smoke, e no dey hear word. Me, I gree accept am like that.

But me too, I no like smoke, so I dey always throw away all the cigarette for house.

If I see cigarette, I go dump am. Sometimes e go vex, but I no send. Na my own small rebellion.

Femi no find e smoke, e just scratch head, dey vex.

E hand dey scratch hair, e dey murmur. If not for pride, e for vex shout.

Next thing, e just pull me enter e hand, begin kiss me.

I dey shock. E no dey show love before, but now, e dey act like say e wan prove point.

I no close eye, I see e face like say e dey go punishment.

E dey frown. E face tight. E dey try show power, but e own no reach.

I push am commot.

I use small force. E surprise. E no expect am.

Femi face change, e no believe say woman fit push am—especially person wey no even fine.

E pride wound am. E dey look me like say na crime I commit.

I ask, "Who be that woman just now?"

I keep my voice low, but my heart dey beat. I need answer.

"Wetin you think?"

E no dey hide. E dey use question reply question. Na defence.

Femi eye show say e don tire.

E eye red, e body dey relax. E spirit don break small. I fit see am.

"Morayo, I don spoil you?"

E try blame me. Na trick wey men dey use when e dey fear say woman go commot.

"Na you chase me, na you beg for this relationship. You know who I be before. You accept am, why you dey make noise now?"

E voice sharp. E dey list my offence, dey remind me say I no get right to complain.

I let small tears drop, I smile small:

The tears soft, I smile like person wey don see end of suffering. E pain, but e relief join.

"I fit accept say the person wey I dey chase dey date other people, break up, date again, break up again."

I dey talk my mind. My voice dey calm, but e dey shake. Na true pain.

"But I never talk say I fit accept my husband dey cheat."

Na this part, my voice break. Marriage different from boyfriend matter.

My tears just dey drop.

My chest dey tight, but I no go let am see me finish.

The thing no gree stop. E dey hot, but e dey wash my pain. For Naija, woman tears dey talk pass mouth.

Femi hand dey shake, e face change.

For the first time, I see small fear for e eye. E hand dey move, e mouth dey open.

But after small time, e talk:

Na pride dey drag am. E no want show weakness.

"Wetin be the difference? If you no fit accept, make we divorce."

The word land like thunder. But e voice flat, like person wey dey order food.

E talk 'divorce' like say na 'break up' with girlfriend.

Na play. No emotion. As if say marriage na party invite.

E sure say I no go gree.

For e mind, I no fit go. Na me dey beg. E dey count on am.

E dey wait make I beg, cry, like other babes wey e don dump.

E dey prepare for drama. E don see am before, e dey expect am.

Maybe even worse.

E dey wait make I roll for ground, dey beg, call e mama, make e for feel like king.

Me sef, I think say I go do am before.

True talk. But pain dey teach person lesson.

The streetlight outside dey blink like broken star.

My eye dey catch the light, e dey show how hope dey fade.

But by 4, 5am, dem go off, everywhere go clear for your eye.

Na when light off, you go see truth clear. All the disguise go vanish.

E worse pass Cinderella story—at least, she fine join.

I dey laugh for mind. Cinderella get shoe, I get certificate. But my own pain pass her own.

I talk soft: "Okay."

My voice low, but e cut deep. I gree.

Femi shock. Before e fit talk, I continue:

I no let am regain power. I press my own, quick.

"Femi, make we divorce."

The word loud for room. Na final. No turning back.

Femi face just change, like say e wan slap me.

E muscle tight, e eye big. E dey vex, but pride no go let am raise hand.

E just laugh, vex: "Morayo, you dey craze."

E voice dey tremble. Na cover up. E dey try maintain control.

"No come beg me later, dey chase me like lost dog."

E dey throw warning, but I no send.

"Na me, Femi, dump you."

E voice loud, e carry body. I dey watch am, dey feel small pity.

As e dey go, e grab e phone, put am for speaker: "Send me address again, I dey come!"

For e mind, e dey form hard guy. But e voice dey shake small. E dey run from home.

For the other end, na club sound dey blast, the woman voice join:

Music loud, woman dey shout. "Hurry, my friend dey here—she dey hear of you, she like you too. The three of us fit..."

Femi just waka commot.

E dey avoid eye contact. Pride dey front, shame dey back.

Door jam behind am.

The sound ring for my ear. E mean say chapter close.

Wedding photo for wall shake.

The frame almost fall. Na sign from God, say make I pack my load.

The fine groom and the bride—after better Photoshop—just dey smile.

If na real life, e for no fine like that. But picture na picture.

The bride dey look groom, eye full of love.

All my hope dey for that picture. But hope no dey real life.

The groom dey look camera, face calm, small impatience dey there.

Na true. Femi no dey show feeling. E dey always dey in a hurry. Even for photo, e no gree relax.

No matter how you look am, dem no match.

But na Naija, who dey match? Na God dey run am.

But thank God, e don finish.

I dey thank Baba God say this chapter close. I no dey regret. I dey free.

I just breathe out, finally free.

The relief sweet. E be like say dem remove yoke from my neck. I dey shine. For the first time, I dey breathe air wey no get Femi name inside. Na freedom be this, and I no go look back.

Truth be say, I still lie give Femi—

Even honest person fit lie when e pain reach neck. Na survival.

My work trip no be three days o.

Na better lie. Na hustle.

Na three years!

As I dey pack my bag, I dey smile. I dey plan my own future. For this life, honest person sef fit waka.