Chapter 1: Wake for Blood and Rules

My head dey pain me like say dem wan use hammer break my skull.

Sweat dey rush my face like person wey sleep for generator house, and my ears dey buzz with gidi-gba headache. The kain pain make me wan shout, but I just clamp mouth, dey gather myself small-small, as if na my village people dey knock talking drum for my brain—just like that time for Umuahia, when rain wan fall and old Mama Ifeoma go say, 'if thunder dey pursue you, na your shadow go run first.'

I open my eyes. Three strange faces, all of dem dey smell blood, just gather near me. My heart jump like when NEPA take light for midnight—kpam! Fear grip me.

Na so I catch heavy scent—mix of roasted meat, palm wine, and something wey resemble abattoir for Ajegunle market. Flies dey buzz around, like dem dey call their own meeting. The light for the place be like say sun no dey gree shine, everywhere just red-red, like ogiri soup wey no done. The faces dey fierce, eyes red, mouth dey wet like dem just finish fight.

Monkey, pig, and one man wey tie white scarf for head, like those Catholic catechists for village—and I dey wear white cassock for body. E be like say... I don cross enter Journey to the West.

My body cold, e be like say breeze from Oji River dey blow my soul. The cassock dey my body heavy, like say spirit dey press me.

"Master, you don wake?" Na the bearded catechist first show concern.

Sha Seng voice get depth, like thunder wey roll for distant sky during rainy season. The way e dey look me, e no look like person wey just wan show care—e get one coldness for im eye. I fit feel say if no be for the rules, e for don do wetin e like.

...I wan answer, but I remember the fourth rule.

【No get any talk with Sha Seng.】

I bone am, turn face give the monkey wey get hairy face and mouth like thunder: "Wukong, wetin do your master?"

As I turn, my heart dey beat kpom-kpom-kpom, but I manage put small courage for my chest, voice steady so dem no go suspect say I dey fear.

The monkey look me surprise. "Master, who be Wukong?"

E tilt head like person wey dey try solve mathematics for NECO, eye sharp like torchlight. I notice say im tail dey swing for back, like agitated dog for compound.

Bajie grumble, "Senior Brother, I tell you say master don chop knock for head from that fake monkey, you no gree believe." Bajie side-eye me, like say, 'Na so dem dey do, always dey form strong head.'

Bajie voice thick, with that nasal drawl wey some Ibadan butchers get. E dey squeeze im snout, face swell small from inside, like pesin wey chop too much eba.

I quick add, "Yes o, my head dey pain me like say e wan burst, my brain just dey scatter."

As I talk, I fit taste small blood for my mouth. My tongue dey heavy. I try cover the fear with smile wey no reach my eye. I rub my chest, dey whisper small prayer under breath, make e no be my own blood next.

I slow-slow sit up—na that time I realize say I dey lie down for inside blood, flesh and bone everywhere.

The ground cold and sticky, like early morning mud for rainy season. The blood get thick iron smell, my white cassock don stain finish, e resemble cloth wey dem use for Obalende abattoir.

Blood dey for the mouth corner of my three disciples. Bajie dey look me like say I be suya for am.

Monkey dey lick lips, Sha Seng dey squeeze im jaw, but na Bajie dey salivate pass. E rub belly like say e dey calculate my size for pot.

The monkey talk gently: "Dem just dey call me Senior Brother, but if Master wan, you fit dey call me Wukong from now."

The way e talk soft, you go believe say e gentle, but I dey see one wicked light for inside im eyes, like those market boys wey dey pretend.

"No wahala, Wukong." I no wan vex am, make wahala no enter.

I add small smile, nod head the way old men for village dey do if dem wan calm stubborn child.

After Bajie yarn finish, I begin put the story together.

The pieces start dey fall for my mind. My chest dey rise and fall, like generator wey no gree start. I dey look the three faces, dey count rules for my head.

One fake monkey knack me for head. After serious fight, "Wukong"—with Baba God help—hold down the fake monkey, then dem beat am die.

I try picture the wahala wey fit happen: the shouting, the blows, the incantations wey dey fly for air. My heart still dey beat anyhow, sweat dey form for my armpit.

I come reason say na the 'True and False Monkey King' chapter for the book be this.

I remember how me and Emeka go dey drag who go play monkey for compound, dey chase each other with stick. My mind flash go back to when I dey small, dey read the story for under mango tree with my cousin Emeka, dey argue who go fit fight monkey for real.

As I see the flesh and blood under me, my body just dey shake. If not for the fear say dem go notice, I for don shout Holy Mary ten times.

I try use ogboju, but my hands dey tremble. The smell of death full everywhere, like Sango dey do festival.

Na true say na the fake monkey knack me?

Abi dem don already chop the real Tang Seng?

I dey reason, dey balance my leg, dey try see if my own spirit still dey with me. I dey try remember my name sef.

According to the second rule, Senior Brother suppose dey protect me, so e no fit be am wey kill me.

I dey repeat the rule for my mind, like hymn for Sunday Mass. If Senior Brother dey protect me, e mean say na another wahala dey this place.

But for the rules, Bajie and Sha Seng get name, but dem just dey call the monkey "Senior Brother".

E mean say, for this world, maybe Sun Wukong no even dey at all?

I begin dey shiver small-small, because if Sun Wukong no dey, who go rescue me if wahala burst?