Chapter 4: Lucky Charm and Family Beef

After that, my bedtime story change.

No more soft story. Everything wey I dey hear for night na how to survive. Papa go bring medical book, mama go bring poison manual. If you ask for Cinderella, dem go say, "Na story for weakling."

No more Super Story, na Human Anatomy.

Every organ, every bone—dem go show me diagram, dey explain how to use am for fight. My head full with information wey normal pikin no suppose get.

No more Nollywood cartoons, na Handbook of Toxicology.

I sabi every poison, from rat killer to snake venom. If person mess up, I fit mix small thing put for him tea.

My papa go sit by my bed, dey yarn: “An An, you sabi where to knack person make e pain pass but no leave scar?”

Him question na riddle. He go draw diagram, dey show me where to hit for body. Sometimes, I go practice for teddy bear.

He go use my finger point under him rib. “Here—liver. Use sharp force—e go pain die, but na only small red dot go show.”

Dem go mark am for my body, make sure say I never forget. Sometimes, I go draw am for book.

My mama no dey waste time.

She dey rush me, dey teach as if time dey finish. No dull moment. Every week, new lesson.

She give me children makeup kit, fill am with colourful powder.

She go buy makeup kit, but inside na real powder—one for poison, one for pain, one for memory loss. She go label everything.

“Red na poison, blue go paralyze, white for drink go make dem forget…”

She go demonstrate with small rat. If rat survive, she go clap. If e die, she go mark that colour as dangerous.

She pinch my cheek, smile: “Girl suppose sabi protect herself, you hear?”

She dey proud. She go post my picture, write caption, "Na my own bodyguard!" She dey tell her friends, "My girl no dey fear anybody."

For primary school, dem remember say dem never disturb their old enemies for long.

My papa and mama get plenty wahala for their past. Dem always get new enemy. Sometimes, people go send warning letter. My mama go laugh, papa go lock gate.

So dem plan nonsense: send person go water enemy mango tree till e die.

Some small pikin go waka come, dey pour salt for ground near our compound. People dey talk say na juju. My papa just dey laugh.

Dem even thief their cat and dog.

Na serious matter. Our cat disappear, dog no come back house. Mama dey vex. Papa dey swear for enemy. Neighbour dey look us like say dem dey fear.

Before I come, my papa and mama dey always lose for fight.

Before me, dem dey run. Sometimes, dem go hide for house two days. Neighbours go dey talk.

Zero win, but the more dem lose, the more dem stubborn.

But dem no dey gree. Every time enemy show, dem go come back harder. Na real stubborn goat blood dey their body.

After I reach, dem never lose again.

My presence be like charm. Any time I show, enemy dey run. Even teachers for school dey fear my family name.

My mama talk say I be family lucky charm.

She go buy me gold chain, call me "Orisa of Victory." Every family event, na me dey front. If dem win contract, she go say, "Na my pikin bring luck!"

But I hear say their enemy na couple—dem just do honeymoon, their pikin sef dem thief. Dem no get time for my parents again.

As enemy get own wahala, my family rest small. Dem focus on me, dey plan new way to take over compound.