Chapter 3: The Second Chance

Nobody sabi say I don come back to life.

Even the cock wey dey crow for my window no suspect anything. I hold my return for chest, dey hide am like small fire for cold night.

For my last life, after I collect the registered letter, na so Ifedike waka come back.

E waka come with dust for shoe, bring news wey break me finish. My hand dey shake as e dey talk.

E talk say e wan carry Morayo go work, make I understand and show better example.

E words hard like judgement. "You be main wife, show good example." I just nod, bite my tongue make I no talk wetin dey my mind.

Na so dem leave me with two pikin and e papa and mama for family house.

E mama go dey grumble, "You this woman, you like sleep too much." E papa just dey look front. Work no dey finish—fetch water, pound yam, nurse sick pikin.

I politely reject my teacher invitation.

Na with hand wey dey shake I write the letter, tears drop stain am. I fold my dream, keep am aside again.

That one pain me pass all the pain for my life.

Even now, e pain dey my chest, like wound wey no dey heal.

I softly rub the invitation letter for my hand.

I press am for my mouth, whisper small prayer for courage. This time, I no go let my chance waka pass me.

I quickly pack all my things.

I wrap my cloth for old wrapper, hide my Bible for inside, keep my late mama picture on top. My heart dey beat as I dey move things.

For this life,

My hand no go empty. World go hear my voice. The breeze wey dey blow for window dey fresh, like e dey bring hope.

No be only border I go go, I go leave the two ungrateful pikin for Ifedike too.

Make e feel how load dey heavy for back. Make e sabi say na better wahala e dey carry.

Make e carry Morayo and her two pikin follow go work.

Make dem see if this life sweet as dem dey think. Make Morayo chop the pepper wey she plant.

Ha! Make dem continue to dey dream.

I smile to myself, my shadow even stand straight pass before.

After I finish pack, I carry my daughter go Morayo house next door.

She dey hold me, thumb for mouth, eye big, dey wonder. I balance her for my hip, shoulder high with new mind.

As I enter Morayo house, na sweet goat meat stew smell first slap me.

The aroma just enter my nose. My belle even grumble, remind me say na long time we chop better meat.

Widow, no work, but she dey chop meat, wear new cloth steady. Na my husband handiwork be that.

Her kitchen dey shine, pot dey bubble, new curtain dey dance for breeze. I see new radio for her shelf—suffer never see her address.

For my last life, I dey feel say as Ifedike owe e brother, I too owe e brother.

I go dey pray for e soul, send palm wine for New Yam Festival. Guilt dey wear me like cloth.

So even as Ifedike dey send our money go Morayo, I no talk.

Neighbour go say, "Mama Chika, God go reward your patience." My own reward na tears for night and hunger for day.

But wetin I gain? Na suffer I gain, she dey enjoy my husband sweat.

I dey look Morayo pikin dey dance for Christmas, new cloth full dem body, my own dey look dem with long face.

I carry my daughter come out, see Morayo dey gist with neighbour for street corner.

Dem dey laugh, dey fan themselves with wrapper. Morayo voice loud, sweet like honey for who no sabi her.

Morayo wear brand new blue Ankara, black wrapper, shine shine scarf for hair.

She be like market woman wey no dey ever bend. My own wrapper don fade, blouse get patch for elbow.

If you no sabi, you go think say she be teacher.

People dey nod as she pass. I dey wonder when last person respect me.

She see me come with my daughter, Morayo pause greet me, "Aunty."

Her voice dey sweet like honey, but e get pepper inside. She dey eye my load with corner eye.

For my last life, at first I dey shy for her, I no like talk.

I go just greet sharp sharp, waka pass, heart dey beat. Later, I begin avoid her, swallow word wey dey choke me.

Later, I begin hate her.

Hate be like bitter kola—hard to swallow, hard to spit. E dey burn for chest every day.

I hate her like weed, e dey grow for everywhere. She dey crawl enter my home, my husband, my happiness.

Morayo dey sense am, so we dey avoid each other.

When we jam, na fake smile, dry greeting. Air dey thick like soup wey don pass fire.

I look her from head to toe, no talk.

My eye scan her finish, make she feel my silence. I know say other women dey look us.

Neighbour aunties dey curious now.

Dem dey look me like say na me thief their yam. Fan freeze for their hand, dem dey wait for gbege.

"Aunty Chika, wetin dey worry you?"

One lean near, eye wide. Dem sabi as wahala dey start.

"Yes now, why you dey look Morayo like that?"

Another one talk, voice dey pepper body. My blood dey boil.

I press lip, heart dey beat. Then I face Morayo.

I let the silence long, make she sweat small before I talk.

"Ifedike send you food and meat money again?"

My voice low, but e cut pass blade. Everywhere change sharp sharp.

The moment I ask, Morayo face change.

Her eye dey run up and down. Smile fall from her face like mask.

"A-aunty…"

Her hands dey shake, voice dey tremble like generator wey no get fuel. Neighbours lean closer, dey hear every word.

Neighbours dey look me shock, then Morayo.

Pin no fit drop. Person cough, hide excitement.

I talk coldly, "My pikin never chop meat for two months. Na goat meat smell I smell for your kitchen. Ifedike send you food and meat money again?"

I fold my hand, make she deny am. My daughter hold my leg tighter, dey feel the wahala.

My word scatter Morayo mind quick.

She dey stammer, voice dey break, dey look me, dey look women.

"No, no, I, I… I borrow am from person…"

Story dey scatter. Neighbour dey raise brow, dey purse mouth.

I look her, hiss, "But person see Ifedike letter for you."

I let word hang for air, make e land well.

After I talk am, I pause. "Two letter every month."

Aunties face change once.

Dem begin whisper, dey shake head. "Ehen, na why…" Their voice mix with okada sound wey pass.

Na later I come sabi say Ifedike dey send me food and meat money, even meat money.

I remember day wey I find receipt hide for Morayo Bible. My hand dey shake as I arrange the truth.

But e feel say if e send am to me direct, Morayo go dey shy to ask me.

E logic twist my belle. Since when my pride dey important pass my hunger?

So e send food and meat money to Morayo first, dey expect she go bring am to me.

E trust her, no see say her belle na pit. Na only prayer I dey pray for crumbs.

But she no bring anything.

She dey keep all, feed her pikin, build better life on my suffer. I just dey clench fist for memory.

Her husband don die three years.

People still dey call her "Iyawo," but na widow privilege she dey wear, na my husband dey fund am.

For that three years, Ifedike dey send money and food money come her house every month.

She dey spend am, dey buy cloth, radio, even bicycle for her son. My own pikin dey look with empty eye.

But as main wife, I no see kobo.

I be first, but last for everything. I close my eye, no cry for dem.