Chapter 2: The Queen Mother’s Verdict

The Queen Mother look me where I dey kneel, her eyes red from sorrow.

She fit no be my real mother, but her spirit dey heavy for me that moment. The palace room quiet, just the soft clap of her gele as she shift for stool. Even her beads for neck no jingle; the air thick with heart pain.

"Morayo, those children na your own blood, you carry dem for ten months. You fit really leave them like that?"

She speak Igbo proverb inside Yoruba tongue, her voice mixing the two, as if to remind me say woman matter no dey light. "A na-ama nwanyi mma n'ulo, ka e mara mma n'ezinulo"—a woman is valued at home, so she is valued in the family. For this Nigeria, if woman leave pikin, people go ask, "She be witch?"

Which mama for this world no love her pikin?

No matter how pain hook you, you go still remember the weight of pregnancy and the first cry for hospital. Even me, my heart dey dance two-two step.

As I remember Qi and Bisi, my chest just dey pain me like say needle dey prick am everywhere.

I fit see their baby faces for my mind—Bisi with her stubborn eyes, Qi with his small gap teeth. Tears wan pour again, but I hold body. For this life, no be every pain you fit shout.

"Aunty, dem be Adeyemi family blood. Tunde go take care of them. Na only divorce I dey beg for!"

My voice low, but the pain loud. I fit feel Queen Mother dey look inside me, dey search whether my words na truth or na anger. My hand dey shake, but I no shift mouth.

The Queen Mother sigh.

Her sigh long, like person wey dey count all the wahala for life. She shift her wrapper, face window small, then face me again.

"That year, Tunde na just poor teacher. Among all those big men, na only you choose am! Now, because of your family, he don turn Local Council Secretary, and you dey talk say you want divorce! This world, e no balance o..."

She shake head, beads knock together, her voice carry the weight of all the women wey don see betrayal but still stand. "Morayo, you get strong heart, but remember say this life, na turn by turn."

I bow my head, bitterness and pain just dey choke me, tears dey block my eyes.

My body dey tremble, but I hold ground. If not for my pride, I for break down cry for floor. I remember my mama words: "No matter how world bend you, no break."

"Aunty, I never change. I no want my husband’s name or money—na only his true heart I dey find!"

I say am, my voice come out like whisper, but my spirit strong. Even if world laugh me, I no care again. Wetin woman need pass peace of mind?

The Queen Mother come help me stand, grant my request.

Her hands soft like okra, but the prayer wey she whisper heavy for my spirit. She hold my shoulders, look my face, and nod like person wey dey send pikin enter new journey.

"The divorce letter go ready in some days. Go house, pack your things well, and make sure you cut off from Adeyemi family without wahala."

She dey careful, as if she dey shield me from village talk. "No quarrel, no wahala. Carry yourself with dignity."

Yes, after seven years of marriage, time reach to settle everything.

I walk out from palace, the evening sun dey bleed orange for sky. For my mind, I dey count every sacrifice, every night wey I wake to pray for Tunde. Now, all na story.

I reach Adeyemi compound.

Gate man greet me, but I no answer. For inside, laughter full everywhere—birthday songs, aroma of fried plantain, even the security dog dey wag tail. My spirit dey outside, even as my body enter inside.

The main compound dey lively, everywhere dey busy.

Neighbours dey drop by with gifts, house girls dey run up and down. Even the gardener dey whistle, as if the day na festival.

Qi and Bisi dey mess up for the small kitchen.

Egg shell scatter for ground, flour dey their hair, the stove hissing like angry snake. Their hands full flour, Bisi dey scatter egg yolk for floor. Qi dey attempt to mix butter, but half of am dey for shirt.

Bisi, as she struggle to light fire, nearly put her head inside the charcoal stove.

The sight scare me; my mind picture hospital emergency. I rush grab her wrapper, my hand quick pass fire.

Fear catch me say she go burn herself, I quick pull her for body.

My voice loud pass generator: "Bisi, make you careful o!"

Bisi frown, push me away with vex. "Mummy, why you dey here? I dey try make fire—no come disturb me!"

Her eyes dodge mine, but her mouth still stubborn. She never talk to me like this before. My body freeze for shock.

I shock small, leave her, then turn to the house girls wey just dey look.

I no blame them—if madam dey house but her word no dey carry weight, who go risk their job? But I still eye them well. "Una no dey fear for these children at all?"

"Una dey stand dey look? These children never reach six years old, una just leave them dey play for kitchen?"

My voice sharp, my anger rise like hot ogi. One of the house girls use eye signal explain say she no fit interfere, but me, I just shake head.

Qi, flour full him face, come talk:

He dey smile, but I no fit smile back. My heart dey pain me.

"Mummy, me and Bisi wan make birthday buns give Aunty Lan for her birthday. Why you dey vex as you just come back?"

His innocence dey painful. Even at this age, him don dey put another woman first.

Disappointment just hold me.

Like heavy rain wey soak person for road, disappointment dey wash me. This same children wey I carry, feed, suffer for, na another woman dem dey please.

So na for Lan’s birthday Qi and Bisi dey prepare gift.

Even my own birthday, nobody remember me. The small greeting dey pass like breeze for window.

I remember for my own birthday this year, na only small greeting I hear—no even talk of gift.

I stand for kitchen, remember how I chop cold jollof that day, waiting for even small hug from my children. Nothing come.

I tell the house girls make dem dey watch them, then I turn go my room.

My legs heavy, like say I dey drag stone. I hold my wrapper tight, head high, but tears dey my eye.

Qi surprise say I no talk much, call me with pleading eyes.

He dey look me, as if say my silence dey bite am. But me, I no fit talk.

"Since mummy don come, and na you sabi pass for kitchen, abeg help us make gift for Aunty."

That moment, my heart just freeze.

Na me dey train these children, teach them how to make chin chin and puff-puff. Now, dem dey beg me to help please another woman. My body dey cold.

Before I become mama, I no dey do housework at all.

People dey talk say I be ajebutter, but life humble me. I learn work, so my children no go lack. I remember my first burnt puff-puff, the day Bisi laugh me for kitchen.

Na three years ago, when Lan enter as lesson teacher, I start to dey fear say children fit suffer for class, so I begin wake two hours early every day, learn how to make snacks, pack lunch box, prepare sweater and wrapper, and dey warn house girls to take care.

Rain beat me, harmattan crack my feet, but I still dey wake, dey learn, just so dem no go complain say dem mama no dey do anything for house.

For three years, rain or harmattan, na so I take get the skill wey Qi dey talk about.

Even my mother-in-law praise me once: "Morayo, you try."

But now, na to help make birthday gift for Lan dem dey beg me.

My own children dey ask me to celebrate the woman wey wan collect their papa. My spirit shake.

I shake my head with pain. "Mummy get other things. Call cook make e help una."

My voice flat, but my mind dey roar. Sometimes, pain no fit let you shout.

Qi bow head, disappointment full am.

Bisi come jam her head for stove, half her face don black, tears dey her eyes as she look me.

She rub her face, the flour stain look like war paint. Her mouth dey twist, but I no move near.

I no go to her.

I stand for door, watching them. If I rescue them every time, when I leave, who go help them survive for this compound?

Since I don decide to leave, I go let them learn to stand on their own. If not, when I go, how dem go survive under Aunty Lan?

For this Nigeria, if you no harden your pikin, world go teach am lesson wey pain pass. My mama always say so.