Chapter 8: Self-Love

After class, I throw trash, come back. Tobi actually turn, stretch hand to me:

Bell ring, class scatter. I carry trash go bin, come back see Tobi dey wait. E stretch hand, wan collect my paper.

“Give me your paper.”

E talk am low, as if na small matter. E voice dey different—soft, almost shy.

“You sabi the key points from last period?”

E dey try ask if I understand last lesson. Na so e dey form helpful.

As he dey talk, he collect my trash bag, put am for his own small bin.

Without talking much, e help collect trash from my hand, arrange am well. I just look am, no word.

“Sit down, make I explain to you.”

E point chair, say make I siddon, say e go break down the topic for me.

I just look down, coldly reply, “I need you?”

My voice cold. I ask am, you sure say I need you now?

Tobi open mouth, shock catch am. The class go quiet.

After small time, he lower voice, “Yesterday night I—”

E try explain, voice low. E want talk something wey e do yesterday night, but I no gree let am finish.

I just slam my Five-Three workbook for desk, turn away.

I bang my book for desk, pack my load, face window. I no dey send am.

By noon, class teacher move my seat go far end of class.

Before lunch, teacher announce say I go swap seat. E move me reach far corner, near window.

PE rep wey swap with me happy as he see big box of chocolate and full maths notes—Tobi secretly prepare am.

The person wey take my old seat, PE rep, dey happy die. E find chocolate and complete maths notes for desk. Na Tobi drop am as welcome gift.

He hug Tobi, dey thank am.

I see as PE rep hug Tobi, dey thank am like say na birthday boy.

Tobi eye dull. He just clench fist, no talk.

But Tobi face don change. E just dey squeeze hand, look ground. E no even try smile.

All afternoon, he dey look my side many times.

I feel am—his eye dey follow me. But me, I just dey bone, dey mind my business.

But me, I no even send am at all.

As I dey talk, my voice dey shake—half laugh, half pain.

Na that day I realize, I fit do without Tobi. I no get space for extra wahala again. If na love, make e find another person—me, I dey love myself now.