Chapter 12: A New Kind of Family

**Chapter Eleven**

Luckily, I was in a young seventeen-year-old body. After a few days of illness and three doses of medicine a day, I recovered quickly.

To help me relax, my mom sent me to my grandparents’ home in neighboring Silver Hollow.

Silver Hollow bordered the wide Ohio River. My grandfather had a small fishing boat. I went out with him daily to fish, and watching the vast river gradually soothed my mood.

There was something healing about the cool spray on my face, the soft splash of oars, and the distant sound of seagulls. On those mornings, with nothing but water and sky around, I could almost believe that life was simple again.

My cousin’s wife, holding her one-year-old son, advised me:

"Rachel, why be so eager to marry? Your cousin treats me well enough, but married life compared to being single—it’s like night and day."

"Look at this little monkey, hanging on me all day. I even have to take him to the bathroom. It’s exhausting!"

Though my cousin’s wife complained, her eyes were full of tenderness. As she spoke, she bounced her son on her hip, Cheerios stuck to his onesie, and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

My nephew giggled at her teasing and reached out to hug her neck tightly.

I felt a little envious.

"Sister-in-law, having your own child must be really wonderful, right?"

My cousin’s wife was stunned for a moment, then nodded vigorously.

"I can’t lie to you about that. Raising a child is tiring, but it’s truly happy. Having him is like having the whole world—I wouldn’t trade him for all the money in the world."

"Hey, why am I telling a young girl like you this? You wouldn’t understand. Only after you have your own child will you know."

My heart ached again.

"Sister-in-law, I do understand."

I’d also had a child.

Although not my biological child, during the time when the Shaw family lost everything, I took care of Ethan every day. When he was in the most pain, he’d hide in my arms just like this, hugging my neck tightly and crying.

My heart felt both tender and sore.

My cousin’s wife saw my expression and laughed heartily.

"What do you understand? Are you talking about little Joey, this little monkey?"

"You love your nephew, but he’s not your own child. The feeling is completely different. Only with your own child can you really understand!"

She said it casually, but to me, it was like a bolt of lightning, suddenly illuminating everything.

Yes, only with your own child can you truly understand.

In this life, even if I didn’t have Ethan,

I could marry someone else. I could have a child of my own.

We would also have that mother-child bond, those quiet, warm, happy moments.

No, as sister-in-law said, having your own child is completely different.

I’d be even happier.