Chapter 2: Begging for Touch, Begging for Sense

2

The heat wey dey my body drag my mind back.

The way sweat dey gather for my back, na only harmattan dry breeze fit cool am. I wipe forehead, adjust my shirt, but the thing no still clear.

I cross my leg, dey para, begin complain to Aunty Morayo:

"I no want money. That last time, Zainab see that aphrodisiac incense, she throw am away. Aunty, abeg, you fit buy another one for me?"

I bite my tongue, dey wonder if this one no too much, but my mouth no gree hold. I talk with small voice, dey hope say she go reason my matter. As I talk 'aphrodisiac incense,' I lower my voice small, because if person hear, wahala fit burst. I dey look her face, dey try see if she go laugh or shout.

Aunty Morayo just eye me small, then she face her front again. Her pen pause, ink stain the paper small.

She just give me that side-eye, the kind wey fit melt stubbornness for anybody body. Then she hiss small, clear throat, go back to her work. The biro wey she dey use even begin leak ink for her document, but she bone, just dey wipe am.

Comments don show again:

[Male lead, you forget say na see-through cloth you wear today to seduce your babe? Even if your aunty dey act like say she no send, she no be pastor o.]

[If Aunty Morayo just look down small now, she go see your abs and V-line well well~ Most times, if you just near am, the woman dey shake. I dey fear she fit faint for pleasure.]

[Something dey off. Male lead always dey sit well, why e come dey cross leg now?]

[E don set. Palm Grove Entertainment, Little Zainab wan burst.]

[Big Yellow Girl, your mouth dey sharp but you talk truth, but this one too much sha.]

[Cry, na only me dey pity Aunty Morayo? Every day, the boy wey she love dey ask her how to please another babe. No wonder Aunty later lose am—if na me, I go craze.]

These comments dey disturb my brain like generator noise. I dey try focus on the matter for ground, but all these online people dey use mouth dey spoil everywhere.

I shock, dey look the real comments wey dey waka for my eye.

The comments just dey waka anyhow, sometimes like text for WhatsApp, sometimes like billboard for my dream. I no fit block am.

I no fit pretend say na my mind dey play trick again.

E don clear say this thing no be only for head. Na real.

Aunty Morayo talk, her voice small hoarse: "The aphrodisiac incense, na still for Zainab?"

I notice say her throat shake small, voice come rough like she swallow garri without water. She no dey look me well.

As I still dey think of the comments, I just nod anyhow, adjust my cloth, pull my neckline up.

I sharply adjust my shirt, because e be like say I too expose for front. I just dey shy, dey reason how I go explain myself.

We don date for six months, but me and Zainab never even kiss well.

All my guys dey laugh me, dey call me pastor. But na true, na just small peck and side hug, no deep matter. Sometimes, e dey pain me.

Sometimes, after the wahala, I go try hug her, but she go just give me cold talk:

"Tobi, sometimes I no even know if you really like me, or you just dey use me to treat your sickness."

That one dey cut me deep, like blade wey no dey blunt. I dey try explain, but she go just walk away, carry her bag, act like say I no dey.

My skin hunger syndrome no gree better; the thing just dey worse each time.

E dey like say I dey inside cage. No matter wetin I do, the thing dey come back. My body dey always dey find touch, the thing dey heavy me.

Few days ago, I waka go find water for night, I hear Aunty Morayo dey talk about aphrodisiac incense for phone with her friend.

I just waka pass corridor, na so I hear her dey mention incense and one kain herb. She dey talk with her friend, one aunty wey dey sell herbal things for Yaba. I pause, hide for corner small, dey listen.

As e be me, I beg her make she help me buy.

When I see chance, I beg am. I just kneel down for parlor, dey explain say e go help me. She look me with that her serious eye, but she no talk much.

I manage sneak am enter Zainab room, but before I fit use am, she smell am and throw am away...

Na small luck I use take enter her room. I hide the incense inside her drawer, but Zainab sharp die. She just open, perceive the smell, throw am for dustbin.

I look up, ask again: "Aunty, you no really wan help me get Zainab back, abi?"

I dey look her with those my puppy eye, dey try appeal to her soft side. I wan make she reason am say I dey serious.

Aunty Morayo no look my face, just dey busy with her file, answer me with another thing:

She just dey arrange paper, dey tap biro for table. Her voice come out flat: "I go bring the incense come after my business trip."

Comments roll in:

[Stop the forming, you dey craze. The thing wey she give the male lead, her mouth tight pass AK47.]

[LOL, male lead no even know say the incense wey Aunty Morayo give am na all the things wey Zainab hate pass. The real incense na for that small black room for extra chapter. I remember say e burn three days and nights...]

[Tsk tsk, see as big woman dey fall for darkness, sweet die.]

[This still be my mumu male lead? Why e come dey wise, dey notice say aunty talk and action no dey match? But to wake up now, e don late. The female supporting character wan go full dark. 36 no be play.]

[36? Aunty Morayo no fit old reach 36. She just senior male lead with like five or six years.]

[Oga, who say 36 na age? Add one letter after am, reason am...]

All these internet people, na only God go judge them. Dem go just dey twist word anyhow. Sometimes, I dey laugh; sometimes, I dey fear say maybe na me dey see things.

The warm air for office make my head dey knock. I dey dizzy, comments dey big and small for my eye, my breath dey heavy.

I fit feel AC for the room, but my body still dey hot. My shirt dey stick for my back, e dey like say malaria wan start. My eye dey turn, but I dey try hold ground.

"Aunty..."

My voice weak, na just small sound come out. My mind dey blank, but I just dey hope say she go look my side.

With my red shoe, I miss step, twist my ankle, hold the soft, warm skin wey dey near me.

Na so wahala start. As I waka go meet her, my shoe twist, I nearly fall. I just grab anything wey my hand see, na her arm I hold. Her skin warm, soft, e dey give me small comfort.

Her perfume hit me strong—like Sunday after-church rice—comfort and trouble mixed together.

As our body touch, Aunty Morayo feel say something dey press her.

Her body tense small, but she no talk. I fit feel her muscle dey tight. E be like say na both of us dey shock.

I remember those comments, use the last sense wey remain push Aunty Morayo, make space between us.

For my mind, I dey hear all those online people dey shout. I quickly push her small, make space dey. I no wan make e be like say na me dey cause trouble.

Everything happen fast; Aunty Morayo still dey one kind half-hug pose.

Her arm still dey air, like person wey wan collect something but hand no reach. For that moment, na only the clock tick I fit hear for the room.

Her hand hang for air, look lonely, her eye dark with plenty emotion.

Her eyes red small, but she try hide am. She just dey blink anyhow, but e no fit clear wetin I see.

But she quick gather herself, force smile, as if that sharp pain wey I see for her face na my imagination:

She just arrange her face, smile small. Her lips dey tremble, but she still manage talk like say everything dey okay.

But her smile dey shake, and for that moment, I see wetin she dey hide—pain wey fit swallow person whole.

"If shoe dey bite, commot am—market full for new one."

Her advice na the type my mama for talk. But e get as e be—like say she wan hide pain, use wisdom cover her own wahala. She just dey pretend say na shoe matter dey worry her.

Comments:

[Sob sob sob, the way Aunty face be after dem push am remind me of male lead coming-of-age party. One friend joke say, ‘Your aunty fine o, you no get mind for am?’ Male lead reply, ‘Na family, abeg, e dey mad.’ Aunty Morayo, outside the door, hear everything...]

[Abeg, I too pity this woman. Her heart dey bleed, but she still dey smile for male lead, still dey worry if him shoe dey pain am. Aunty Morayo, no love am too much.]

[Male lead, you need help. Why you no just cross that line? Every time you push your aunty away, she dey add new toy for her basement.]

[Sorry, maybe my own dey different, but I wan know where dem go throw that limited edition shoe. Make I go pick am quick...]

Sweat dey pour, words dey scatter for my eye—everywhere just dey spin.

I try use tissue clean sweat for my forehead, but e be like say my head dey inside oven. My eye dey turn, all the words for my front dey mix like alphabet soup.

Aunty Morayo just pet me: "I go tell driver to carry you go house. Take your medicine, sleep, you go better when you wake."

Her voice come soft small, she dey try console me like when I small. She even touch my back gentle, rub am like person wey dey pet pikin. E sweet me, but the thing still pain me say she no fit carry me herself.

I just vex: "Driver again. Every time I sick, na driver dey carry me. You no fit carry me by yourself once? Work better pass your nephew?"

My voice crack, but I just no fit hold am. Na true talk. Sometimes, I dey wish say she go leave work, focus on me small.

Aunty Morayo eye dark, voice cold: "Work."

She just talk am, but her eye sharp, like say e dey cut. I know say if I push further, she fit vex. E get as the matter be—she dey protect herself.

Me: "..."

I just quiet, dey look ground. E be like say I no get anything to talk again. For my mind, I dey blame myself and blame her join.

Comments:

[Male lead, check mirror. Face red, cloth rough, abs dey shake. If Aunty Morayo carry you herself, you no go reach house. That car go dey shake for garage for three hours...]

[Aunty Morayo, this your strong head no go give you husband o. ‘Work’ my foot. When male lead finally waka, you go dey alone for bathroom dey look him picture, dey form correct woman.]

[By the way, na only me dey reason how many times male lead picture fit wash finish...?]

[No wahala, this perv print full carton.]

All these comments just dey add pepper for my wound. E dey sweet and pain at the same time, but I just bone face.