Chapter 5: Grief, Blame, and Broken Promises

My heart just freeze. I tell Morayo sorry, wear my cloth, rush hospital. Before I go, Morayo hold me, worry for face. “I go follow you. Tobi need comfort now.”

I no even think, carry Morayo go hospital. As we reach, she try see my wife body, Tobi slap her. Her body just fall ground, tears full her eye. Morayo hand fly to her cheek, she look away, lips dey shake, mutter small prayer under her breath.

The slap loud, echo for corridor. Smell of Dettol dey everywhere, but I still dey perceive fufu from the canteen downstairs mix with am. For corner, Yoruba gospel radio dey play faintly, "Baba loke, mo dupe..." Nurse even stop look. For Naija, e no too strange if pikin para, but this one too much.

“Na you scatter my mama house! You wan chop my papa finish?”

The way Tobi take shout, na so people for hospital dey look us, some dey whisper. Morayo just dey cry, she no fit talk.

I no fit look my wife body, no fit raise my head. I just help Morayo up, shout for Tobi:

My voice crack. Pain full my chest, but I still try form strong man. For Yoruba tradition, man no dey cry for public. But that day, my leg dey shake.

“Why you do that! This thing no concern your Aunty Morayo!”

Tobi look me, him eye red.

His mouth dey twist, like person wey dey swallow pepper. People begin gather small small, dey look the drama.

“No concern her? No concern her?”

“Okay, na you e concern! You dey cheat, na you kill my mama! Because of home breaker, you kill your wife! Doctor talk say if we reach three minutes early, dem for save her! That brake wey you match waste ten minutes! My mama don die!”

Tobi dey shout, tears dey fall, mouth open, dey vomit, no fit talk again.

The boy dey shake, tears dey everywhere. I wan hold am, but he push my hand. My own tears dey my eye, but pride hold am back.

Me, I no fit look Tobi eye; but as papa, I no wan lose my respect, so I talk strong:

I bite my tongue, force myself stand well. For our culture, papa must not break, even if e dey pain.

“Keep quiet! Na big people matter be this, no be your own!”

The nurse look me, shake head. I see judgment for their eye, but I no send. My chest dey heavy like person wey chop seven wraps of pounded yam.

Besides, who go really blame? Doctor talk three minutes, but who know? Maybe dem just dey shift blame. Even if I carry my wife, she fit no make am. Na her destiny. At least, Morayo dey okay. As I think am, my mind rest small.

For Yoruba land, if something happen, people go talk say "Olorun mo"—God know best. But my mind still dey shake. I dey try console myself, but the pain deep.

After I finish my wife burial arrangement, I wan make Tobi apologize to Morayo, so my respect as papa go return. But Morayo stop me.

Her voice soft like pap wey no get lump, she hold my hand. "No be small pikin fault. E dey pain, e go heal." She dey try protect everybody, even after all she don suffer.

“No be Tobi fault. No vex for am.”

“For you, small wahala no mean anything. I fit take that slap.”

As I see Morayo face still red and swell, I just pity her. She grow up with soft life, everybody dey like her—when she ever suffer this kind thing? But for me, she take slap from small pikin.

Inside my chest, I dey feel shame. This kind thing no suppose happen to woman wey just come join family. But Morayo strong, she dey try bear am like say e be small scratch.

“Morayo, after all this, you fit give me chance?”

“I want spend the rest of my life make am up to you, take care of you.”

My voice low, my heart dey bleed. I for kneel down if to say people no dey. The spirit of apology strong for that moment.

Like say spirit catch me, I just open up to Morayo. She hold me, dey cry. We hug tight, promise each other for life—while my wife body still dey warm. But wetin I fit do—na love be this.

As we hug for that cold hospital corridor, I hear one old woman mutter, "This world no balance." My head just dey spin, but Morayo hold me like say I be her only hope. For my mind, I dey pray make tomorrow better, make God forgive my wrong.

For Naija, when rain fall, e no dey select roof.