Chapter 6: Lost and Found

After that night, I just pack go London go see art show, no tell am.

I need escape. I pack small load, book flight, waka go London. My spirit dey hot, I no even tell Chuka, no message, nothing.

For three months, I no reach out to Chuka at all.

I just disappear, my phone cold. I dey try find myself inside art gallery, under foreign sky. My friends dey call, but I dey dodge everybody.

But funny enough, Chuka go still dey message me sometimes for night my time, early morning him side.

Na only his message dey show for my phone. Sometimes, I go look am, delete, no reply. Sometimes, I just dey reason: which kain love be this?

"E dey rain, abeg carry umbrella if you dey go out."

Even in his own way, e dey try. "Ife, abeg, weather no good, carry jacket." Small message, but my heart dey twist.

I just bone.

I lock heart, I refuse reply. I dey do strong woman, but tears dey fall sometimes when I see him text.

I dey waka up and down—art shows, ski, bungee jump—everything. Na just before I come back, I send Chuka message.

I try distract myself, do all the things I never do before. I dey snap picture, post online, but my heart still dey drag back home.

"I get something to tell you when I come back."

I send message, voice calm, but my mind dey beat. I no even sure if I want hear reply.

Chuka no reply.

Silence. No blue tick. I dey look phone tire. My mind dey race.

But the day I jump for Austria mountain, na that time I understand—

As I jump from that mountain, breeze slap my face, fear mix with small joy, na there e hit me. My life no suppose dey circle around Chuka alone.

I no suppose dey hold Chuka like say na life and death.

Na then I realize, holding am no go change am. If love no dey flow both ways, no amount of holding go turn stone to water.

If I too dey chase that 'prince and princess live happily ever after' with Chuka, even if e happen, I fit forget all the wahala before?

Even if by magic we end up together, I fit wipe away all the pain? My heart answer me: No.

Third day after I come back, I reach the house wey we dey stay.

As I land for Lagos, I go straight house. I dey expect say maybe, just maybe, Chuka go dey.

From CCTV, I see say Chuka never enter house for one month.

I check the footage, see say the house still dey lonely. The absence choke.

But midnight, he show.

Na for that kind awkward time, Chuka waka enter, cold as ever. My heart dey jump.

Chuka say next time e go follow me.

He talk say, "Next time, I go follow you." His voice flat, but I sabi say na him way to try settle.

I understand—na Chuka way to settle.

E no dey apologize direct, but e dey try. I just nod, accept am as e be.

I begin dey talk to am polite: "No need, I enjoy with my girls."

I dey soft, voice gentle. I no gree beg or quarrel, I just dey my lane.

For night, as I dey half sleep, warm hand touch my palm.

In my sleep, I feel soft hand touch me. Na Chuka, him palm dey warm, e hold my own gently. For that moment, e be like say we dey normal again.

He hold my hand.

He hold am soft, as if he no want lose me. I no open eye, but my heart dey beat different.

Maybe even cold person like Chuka fit feel something.

For small second, hope dey my chest. Maybe him heart dey melt, maybe...

Next day, I sleep reach afternoon, begin pack my load. I even carry empty box come.

I sleep reach afternoon, body weak. I wake, start dey pack my things. I even find empty box wey I forget say I bring.

As I reach bedside drawer open am, I see one velvet box wey I never see before.

For the drawer, hand touch one soft velvet box, strange. I look am like say e go bite. The velvet box dey smell small like camphor and old perfume, as if e don dey hide since harmattan.

Fear catch me small.

I dey shake, heart dey drum. I dey pray make e no be wetin I no fit handle.

But I still open am.

I open, hand still dey shake. Na ring I see.

Na ring.

My breath catch. The kind ring wey woman dey hope for, e shine, small but fine.

Na the gift wey I dey hope say Chuka go ever give me—a ring.

I hold am, tears dey my eye. Na this kind gesture I dey wait for all these years.

Evening sun shine through curtain, light up everywhere, light up my eye.

The sun dey pour for room, paint everything gold. My eye dey shine, tears dey my face.

Inside the ring, dem engrave: Apple.

I check well, see the inscription: 'Apple'. My heart melt.

E dey shine.

The stone dey glitter. I dey imagine am for my finger. My body dey shiver.

Small note dey inside box: "You be the apple of my eye."

Note soft, handwriting familiar: 'You be the apple of my eye.'

You be my most precious person.

Tears rush come my eye. I hold note, my body dey shake.

Signature na two years ago, Valentine’s Day.

Na then I realize—he don buy am since, na only him know why e hide am.

Sunlight for floor just show another shadow.

I see shadow for floor, heart miss one beat. I look up, see Chuka enter room.

I look up.

He dey stand for door, dey look me. His face dey tight, but his eye dey soft small.

Chuka don come back.

My heart dey jump. For that moment, na only two of us dey for world.

I carry the ring, waka go Chuka, dey hold my tears.

I stand, walk go him side, tears dey my cheek. I hold ring up, hand dey shake.

I hold am till my neck vein dey show, shake the ring dey ask: "So? Na this be—"

Voice break, I dey ask, I need answer. My whole body dey tremble. Na pain, na anger, na love—everything mix.

"We no match?"

My voice loud, the ring dey shake. I dey wait answer, my life dey hang for his lips.

Chuka glance the note for ground, bend pick am.

He try bend, hand shake, eye red. I see say e dey fight himself.

I knock am comot for him hand again.

I slap his hand away, no let am touch am. I dey vex.

"Talk something!"

I dey shout, tears dey fall, I no fit hold pain again. My voice loud pass my own sense.

"You no fit talk? Chuka!"

My voice echo for room. My heart dey bleed. All my years, all my hope, everything dey hang. I dey wait for answer wey fit change my destiny, but Chuka mouth still dey tight like padlock.