Chapter 1: Wahala Dey—Live for Classroom

The tenth time I catch the school hunk dey eye me with that him serious, brooding face, na so danmaku—those live, on-screen comments wey dey waka for Chinese film—just waka pass my mind:

As I dey feel those eyes burn for my skin, e be like my head don turn cinema, with invisible people dey drop commentary anyhow. For my mind, na so I dey see danmaku fly, like Kannywood film for YouTube, people dey talk for screen no filter.

[The main guy don travel back ten years come see say him wife don turn another person babe. E don be.]

[After all the years of secret crush, finally win him wife, now e go start from scratch again.]

[Mo baby get boyfriend now, the main guy just dey hold himself by force.]

[I get strong feeling say this old man no go do gentle guy like when e be 19.]

As expected, next thing, my phone vibrate with one anonymous WhatsApp text:

[Hello, abeg, fit make you break up?]

[Or, you no mind get one more boyfriend join?]

[I swear, till you break up, I go keep my distance and behave myself.]

Sometimes, all these messages dey rush my head anyhow, like gist wey dey fly for backyard during harmattan, when talk dey sweet. For Lagos, if dem see this kain drama, na 'oya nau, wahala dey!' dem go shout.

1

Bell ring as elective finish. I dey pack my books when one boy for my class, wey dey back row, use him pen tap me small for back.

The tap gentle, but I squeeze my biro, ready for wahala before I turn. The guy face like okra—slippery with nervousness—him eyes dey dance for floor like say na beans e dey count.

"Mo, e-eh, fit help me solve this question?"

I nod, collect him advanced math workbook, write out the answer.

I carry biro write for am, make sure say my handwriting dey clear. As I dey explain, I use small pidgin join am so e go enter him head well.

"You understand?"

After I explain, I look up at am.

E be like say e just wake up from dream, ear don red, e nod with small confusion:

"I understand, Mo, you too sabi."

I just smile polite:

"No wahala. If you get another wahala, ask me."

For my mind, I dey already dey calculate if na this one go send me hot puff-puff tomorrow for appreciation. But as I dey talk, before I even finish, I feel that familiar, heavy stare again.

Here we go again.

Na the kind stare wey dey heavy for body like akara wey soak for palm oil. E dey always give me goosebumps, like say person dey call my village name for shrine.

I turn look Chuka, wey dey sit diagonal for front row.

Sharp eyebrow, high nose, skin fine like fresh fufu, but those eyes deep like midnight river.

If to say na Nollywood movie, dem go call am 'tall, dark and handsome,' but Chuka own get extra—like say Sango himself carve the boy.

Now now, e dey glare that boy wey just smile for me, him vexation just dey show everywhere.

The kain vex no get cover—eyebrow high, mouth tight, and the coldness for him face fit freeze pure water. You go fear for the other boy, sef.

As e catch me dey look am, him eyes shift, I fit see the loneliness and pain inside.

Like say na puppy wey dem abandon.

Omo, e just dey somehow.

As I look am, my chest just do one kain. I feel small pity, small curiosity, like say I dey watch zeeworld drama live.

I never even talk to am before.

All I sabi be say na Adegoke University school hunk, cold guy, top for computer science.

Apart from class, I hardly dey campus, I no dey stay hostel. I think tire, I no fit remember how I take offend am.

Just as I wan ask am straight, another danmaku fly pass my eye:

[The 29-year-old go hold him wife like say na life, but 19-year-old Chuka just dey remind himself say e no get right to jealous.]

[Hahaha, desperate husband dey reason: every guy wey near my wife get bad intention.]

[The main guy travel from 29 back to 19, now him wife don be another person babe. Everything don scatter, and boys still dey toast her—how e go take endure?]

[Years of secret crush, finally win her, now e go start again—who no go craze?]

For my mind, I dey reason say, e be like say I dey inside soap opera. All these live-comment dey make my head turn.

……