Chapter 2: Shame and Childhood Debts

2

Wetin that one mean?

My mind dey race. All these bullet comments dey make my head turn. Na play be this? Or I dey dream?

"Jide," I call am gently, "you no wear trouser?"

For the other side, I just hear big cough.

Jide dey drink water, he choke sotay him fair neck turn pink.

Water pour small for floor. E cough sotay e begin wave hand like say e dey chase fly. I just dey look.

Even the phone for him hand shake.

Phone dey dance for him hand, e almost fall. I hold laugh for my throat, but e no gree stay.

Just one second, he hold am steady.

Jide no too dey fumble, but this one catch am off guard. I fit see small part of him room, poster for wall, slippers for ground. E never change from when we be pikin.

But e be like...

I really see him strong thigh.

Leg wey fair like fried yam, muscle dey show, e just flash for inside the scattered bedsheet.

True-true, e fair well well.

This guy no get wahala for skin at all. E clean. E fit pass for advert boy for close-up toothpaste. Na only say e dey always wear hoodie, no dey show body.

My face red: "Sorry."

The shame wan drown me. I wish say ground go open, swallow me. I no fit look screen well. If my stepmama see this kain thing, she go shout holy ghost fire. My own don finish.

I think say him dey bathroom oh.

Na why I shock. No know say na for bed the guy dey, dey do like king wey no send anybody.

No know say him no even dey wear trouser sleep.

Jide just surrender: "If I wan wear, I go wear. If I no wan, I no go. Wetin, you wan check?"

...Ah.

This Jide sef, e sabi run mouth. E dey use style dey yarn me. I bite lip, try hide smile.

I imagine am, even my ear dey hot.

Na so body dey betray person. Even ear join the matter, dey hot as if kerosene pass for there. I just hold myself, no wan lose guard.

I open mouth, hesitate: "That one... no too good, abi?"

Jide freeze for like three seconds, then vex hang up the call.

The line cut like pure water wey burst. Na wah.

"Funto, you too dey worry person."

The thing pain me. I just dey look phone like mumu. Who send me this waka?

3

No be today Jide start to talk say I dey disturb am.

He don talk am many times.

E get one kind way Jide dey always hiss, e go shake head like say na me cause am. But sometimes e still dey check on me. Person like me, na wahala full body.

But e no lie.

Person like me really dey disturb.

For this my life, wahala no dey far from my side. Even as pikin, I sabi cause trouble. But na the kind of trouble wey no get wickedness. Just stubborn small.

Me and Jide na childhood friends before.

For street, we dey play ten-ten, police and thief. If I fall, na Jide go help me stand. We dey share ice cream, dey run under sun. Those days sweet like sugarcane.

But later, my mama die, my stepmama born my small sister.

Everything just scatter. The house cold, like harmattan wey blow through open window. I dey miss my mama, but na my small sister dey always cry. Stepmama dey try, but the money short.

Money for house just vanish.

To the extent say when my sister sick, no money to treat am.

The hospital dey shout, drugs expensive. All the contribution from neighbours no even reach half. I begin dey pray inside, beg God make miracle happen.

Stepmama cry beg me, say make I go borrow money from Jide.

"Jide family get money, Jide na only pikin, una grow up together, him go gree borrow you money, abi?"

I stand, lost, no know wetin to do.

Na big wahala for my mind. I just stand, dey look wall, dey count crack. My leg dey weak, heart dey pound. I dey ask myself, who go help me?

Papa stamp cigarette, hold me for back, shout for my stepmama.

"Why you dey stress Funto? She still be pikin."

The house hot. Smoke from cigarette dey rise, mix with cry for parlor. The waiting room hot like fire, sweat dey my neck, and the sharp smell of Dettol dey everywhere, just dey choke nose. Na real confusion.

Stepmama wipe tears, voice high: "Funto na your daughter, but Zainab no be your daughter too? If no be you carry our money go gamble, I for no beg Funto!"

Papa face red, he even slap am.

Slap sound, kpai! Everybody quiet for one second. Even my body freeze. Na my stepmama dey suffer pass, but she no ever use hand touch me bad.

"Then make you go die!"

Papa voice don change. The whole house dey vibrate. Even wall clock stop for one second, I swear.

Stepmama cry, carry Zainab, threaten say she go jump from building.

Na real drama. Stepmama hug Zainab, tears dey flow, she stand for balcony, shout say she go jump. Neighbours gather, dey beg.

I hold her leg, dey cry, promise: "Mama, I go borrow the money, abeg no die."

My voice dey shake. My small sister dey cry too. I promise am, even though I no sure if I fit keep am.

She be my stepmama, but she no ever treat me bad.

She just marry the wrong man, na so her life bend.

But I no want make she end up like my mama, jump from balcony.

Balcony wey high pass three storey. I remember when I see blood for that same spot. I no want see am again. My leg dey shake.

I don already lose my mama.

I no want Zainab suffer am too.

I promise myself, anything wey go happen, make I be the last person to cry for this house.