Chapter 3: When Smoke Turn Fire

At first, the drunk guy just dey quiet.

Na silence wey get weight. The keke small, so everywhere just dey tight with this him drunken presence.

Na only heavy breathing dey come from him mouth. As AC dey on, the keke just dey full with one kind bad smell wey dey make Old Musa wan vomit.

Old Musa just dey hope say AC go neutralize the smell, but e be like say the thing dey multiply. The kain smell wey go make you promise God say you go fast two days if you survive am.

He just tell himself: na the last ride—once I drop this guy, I go open everywhere make air enter.

He dey count down for mind: "Just endure, Baba Musa. Endure like market woman for sun."

As person wey don drive long, he don see all kind people: people wey dey gossip, lovers wey dey kiss anyhow, some dey even pick their foot.

If keke get memory, e go don write book. Every shade of Makurdi na im don pass through here.

This small keke na like small world. Old Musa don sabi how to manage mad people.

He sabi which kind look fit calm person, and which kind smile fit dissolve wahala before e begin. But today own, e be like say nothing go work.

After small time, the drunk guy burp—one long, dangerous one, like say vomit fit land any moment.

Old Musa just dey eye am from mirror, hand already dey near nylon in case emergency show.

Old Musa just dey pray say make e no happen. If e happen, at least cleaning fee dey.

Old Musa don get experience before—na why him dey always carry extra towel, Dettol, and rubber for keke. But e still dey pray say make today no be that kind day.

But sometimes, you go just know say this one go bring wahala—and this particular guy na another level.

E get as this one stubbornness strong. Old Musa dey reason for head: "Na the stubborn ones dey use juju pass."

After him don blow enough alcohol smell for the keke, the man finally blink, open him heavy eyes, begin find something for him pocket.

If to say na Nollywood, now now jazz go land. But Old Musa still dey observe.

Old Musa look am, dey wonder wetin he dey find.

For night, anything person bring out from pocket fit be wahala. Old Musa just dey steady for mirror, one hand ready for horn.

After some seconds, the guy bring out one Benson & Hedges cigarette pack.

As he shake the pack, e dey like say him hand no even sure for wetin he dey do.

Him hand dey shake as he pull out one stick.

Na so e struggle to bring out lighter. Na by grace the stick no fall for ground.

Old Musa relax small. E mean say na smoke he wan smoke—no wahala. Everybody know say for keke work, you no fit smoke.

Old Musa don dey ready to talk—na rule, na common sense. Wetin drunk no sabi, na im dey worry Old Musa.

If na vomit, nothing you fit do. But if na smoke, just tell am no.

For Makurdi, if you allow smoke, tomorrow na urinate. Old Musa don learn.

Old Musa wait make the man ask before he go tell am no. But this drunk no be the type wey dey ask.

Some people no dey respect. E be like say na only them waka come this world.

Just like that, he use lighter, spark the cigarette.

Sharp sharp, fire go up, and before Old Musa fit talk, first puff don land.

Next thing, smoke just dey enter Old Musa face.

Na so nose dey pepper. The kain thing fit make person park keke run.

Old Musa sigh, talk say, “Oga, the app get rule—no smoking for inside keke.”

He try use gentle voice. If na some people, dem go shout, but Old Musa sabi say word wey soft fit calm drunkard.

“Huh?”

The drunk no even send am.

He just dey look front, eyes dey like goat wey miss road.

“I talk say, you no fit smoke for my keke.”

Old Musa try repeat, hand still dey steady for steering.

“We dey use AC, and na public transport. The smoke smell dey hard to clear.”

He dey explain as if na small pikin he dey talk to. He sabi say app get strict wahala about passenger complaint.

Old Musa try make peace, even suggest:

Old Musa swallow spit, look road, then talk slow—no be every customer you fit argue with.

“If you really wan smoke, make I park. You fit come down smoke, I go wait for you.”

He dey reason say, "Make this one use am head." E no wan wahala reach home.

But the drunk no dey hear. E be like say him brain only dey process "no".

Drunk man just dey stubborn. For him head, every talk wey no be 'yes', na insult.

Finally, the no smoking message enter him head, na so he vex, start to para.

Na so he huff, neck veins dey show, hand dey shake, e be like say na keke dem dey drag for inheritance.

He dey lean near Old Musa, face dey shock—like say he no believe say person fit tell am no.

He give am that look wey big men dey use for housemaid. "Who you be? You dey craze?"

“What? Na just smoke I wan smoke, you no go gree? You sabi wetin you dey talk so?”

Voice loud, echo for keke. If not for late hour, e fit call crowd.

The look wey he give Old Musa be like say he see masquerade for day time.

Even Old Musa wan laugh for mind. Who this one think say him be? Masquerade wey dey fear light?

Old Musa reason say the guy just too drunk, so he talk calm:

He dey remind himself: "Soft answer dey turn away wrath."

“Oga, abeg, my keke dey carry other people too. E no good make smoke smell dey everywhere.”

He add am: "Na my work, if keke dey smell, dem fit report me."

But for the drunk mind, "other people" no concern am.

Some people for Makurdi, na only their self dey their dictionary. Na 'Me, Myself, and I' dem sabi.

He no get time for Old Musa explanation. For am, na only "yes, smoke dey allowed" be correct answer.

Drunk fit dey act like big man—na so dem dey do for town.

But Old Musa stand gidigba.

E no dey shake. Na person wey don suffer before, no dey fear face.

So, the man lean close, face almost touch Old Musa own, come talk, word by word:

Old Musa fit smell the hot ogogoro from him breath. Keke small, wahala big.

“I go ask you last time—na to smoke or not?”

Na clear threat.

You go think say na police dey do stop-and-search.

Old Musa understand, but to keep him keke clean, he still stand:

E hold ground, voice no shake.

“No matter how you talk am, na still no. If you wan smoke, I go park, you fit come down smoke, I go wait.”

He dey hope say the guy go just gree. Na peace Old Musa dey find.

No need to argue with drunk person. The plan clear: park, make am smoke outside, maybe I go reach house late—no wahala.

E don learn say time no dey fight with trouble. If you dey patient, wahala go tire.

Keke work na service work. Customer always dey right. One bad review fit spoil your day, so sometimes you just gats swallow am.

But for keke driver, small bad review fit mean no customer for one week. Na why Old Musa dey tread gently.

But this drunk no appreciate am at all.

E be like say peace dey irritate am pass. Some people just dey find who go collect their anger.

He hiss, dey look Old Musa anyhow. If no be say Old Musa dey drive, fight fit burst.

Old Musa just dey steady him face, no look back. E dey calculate escape route for mind.

Old Musa just dey focus for road, steady. No matter wetin, nobody go smoke for him keke.

For Makurdi, if you allow today, tomorrow na another story. E no go gree for nonsense.

Then, the drunk change style. Out of nowhere, he ask one question wey later go cause big wahala.

Sometimes, drunk fit remember him power for society. Na now he wan show am.

He point chin give Old Musa, ask:

“You get rider’s permit?”

He talk am like person wey get government inside pocket.

Old Musa confuse.

E no dey expect that kain question. Him dey wonder if dem change keke law overnight.

He no understand, so he reply, “Which permit?”

Old Musa dey look am for side mirror, one eyebrow up. Wetin concern permit for this matter?

All this while na smoke matter, how permit take enter? The guy just dey drunk or wetin?

Na only drunk fit switch talk like that. Old Musa dey reason say, "Abi e wan call police?"

So he answer am anyhow, “I no get.”

E talk am make peace reign. If wahala go come, make e come quick.

The drunk face light up, lean close, dey smile: “So you no get am, abi?”

That kind smile wey person dey use set trap for goat.

Old Musa just dey look road, answer sharp, “Yes, I no get.”

He dey show say, "Na you sabi. Carry your wahala dey go."

The drunk face na mixture of mockery, no concern, and pride. E be like say he dey reason: Omo, I don catch you.

You go think say he just win jackpot. Some people dey happy when dem see opportunity to show power.

“You, illegal driver, you sabi who I be?”

That question, for Makurdi, na code for "You don enter am."

Old Musa look am, no send. “I no know.”

He reply coolly. If to say Old Musa sabi swear, by now e for don use all.

After all, person no dey write name for face—how e go sabi?

Na true talk. For Makurdi, na your face be your ID card. Old Musa no get time for fake threat.

But for the drunk, this one even pain am pass.

Some people no dey fit bear say person no recognize dem. E pain am reach bone.

He bring out phone, as he dey dial, he dey threaten Old Musa. The call connect quick.

Old Musa dey look road, dey hear as the man dey shout for phone, but him mind dey already dey plan escape in case e go south.

“Hello, Alhaji Bala, you dey for usual place? I just enter illegal keke—imagine! Driver even get mind, no gree make I smoke.”

That kind call wey some big men dey use scare small boys. Old Musa just dey steady.

The meaning clear: for this city, nobody dey stop am from smoking.

He dey try prove say, "I get power. Your own don finish."

He tell the person for phone, “Abeg, help me handle am later.”

That "handle am later" fit mean anything. For Makurdi, na so dem dey start wahala.

After call, he look Old Musa with one kind eye. “Today, you go know say pikin wey get papa no dey fear slap.”

He talk am with voice wey dey shake, like say thunder dey vibrate for inside throat.

Old Musa just dey wonder. For country wey get law, wetin this guy fit do?

For heart, he dey pray say make police dey their lane tonight. Because for Nigeria, sometimes na mouth get power pass gun.

But na there the man just change destination—to Wadata District Transport Office.

Old Musa grip steering, sweat dey his palm—tonight, e sure say trouble no dey sleep for Makurdi.