Chapter 9: Love, Loss, and Revenge
I accept [Big Pearl Little Pearl Drops on Gold Plate], we begin gist. Her chat sweet, dey flow like all those Nollywood romance. Na so I dey drop cruise.
I no go lie, this their dating platform get correct babes. The chat dey sweet, different vibes. Some dey ask for soft life, some dey form spiritual.
We dey gist, suddenly one red exclamation mark show: Na so wahala start. App dey do gra-gra.
[You don use finish your free chats. Click to recharge more.]
I dey laugh, recharge button sharp sharp. Money no be problem. No wahala. Na small change. To chat with fine babe, I fit even sell bicycle.
Each message na fifty kobo. I just recharge fifty thousand naira. To be on the safe side, I top well. Make dem no cut me off.
[Big Pearl Little Pearl Drops on Gold Plate: Oga, make we exchange picture.]
[She send photo. Upgrade to SVIP to see.]
App dey run package. This SVIP na coded scam, but man must run am. I top up another forty thousand, upgrade to SVIP.
Sharp sharp, I dey drop money, my hand dey shake but I no fit dull. I open the photo, my mouth open.
Na so I stare screen. Fine babe no do pass like this. Fine babe—look am well, she resemble Mercy Johnson (popular actress).
For my mind, I dey calculate whether na filter or na real. Wait, see watermark for corner… no be Mercy Johnson Instagram handle?
I dey squint, dey zoom. E shock me. I check Instagram. True true, na her latest post. I open Instagram, confirm am. Na same picture, na same pose. My head dey spin.
[Don’t Bully the Rich Middle-aged: Haha, watermark don expose you.]
[Don’t Bully the Rich Middle-aged: I no know say na you, Mercy Johnson!]
[Don’t Bully the Rich Middle-aged: I too like your film, I watch all!]
I dey try form cruise, but e be like say I run my mouth too much. Red exclamation mark. She block me.
App just show block. I dey press, dey tap. No way. I rush message customer service.
I dey vex. I fit send all the chat for evidence. Dem reply: "Oga, our platform na anonymous. No call real name. I check backend—na Miss Mercy true true. She value privacy. She vex now."
Customer service dey reason me like say na small pikin I be. But dem dey polite. After plenty beg, customer service gree help unblock me.
Dem still form process. Na so e be for Naija—money must drop. As dem instruct, I pay ₦50,000 sincerity fee, ₦180,000 deposit, ₦30,000 platform fee, ₦7,000 handling fee, upgrade to SSSVIP. My account dey bleed, but I dey chop am like soldier.
[Big Pearl Little Pearl Drops on Gold Plate: Okay, I no vex again. But abeg, no call my real name, no leak our chat.]
[Don’t Bully the Rich Middle-aged: No wahala, I gree!]
I dey reason say I don enter correct place. Babes, money, cruise!
9.
We gist reach late night. You know say for Naija, if chat dey sweet, sleep dey run from eye. Even NEPA fit forget to take light for my sake.
[Payment fail, money no reach.]
App begin dey dull. I dey tap, dey try recharge. I switch to mobile money. Only ₦3.72 remain from the millions I borrow. Alert show me pepper. E pain me.
Wetin I go do now? I dey reason who I fit call for urgent twenty k. Shame no gree me.
I gree, make I let system transfer more money. No choice. I go chop my own days for love! Just lose small days for life—I no go last long anyway.
Na so Naija man dey reason: enjoyment before worry. For love, I go risk am! E fit be say I go yarn my future pikin say, "Na for babe head I spend my last kobo."
System, drop money!
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦20,480]
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦40,960]
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦81,920]
...
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦2,097,152]
The alerts dey ring like Christmas bell for December, my heart dey do zobo. After I throw in three, four million, I gist with Mercy Johnson till day break.
Sleep no see my eye. Na gist, na laugh, na love. I wan change platform, she refuse—say other sites no safe, chat fit leak. She talk am with confidence, I no even doubt.
[Big Pearl Little Pearl Drops on Gold Plate: Oga, make we see for real life?]
Na that moment, my heart jump. All those Naija films dey my head. I ginger. "Yes! Make we see!"
I dey wait make she drop location, make I rush buy flight ticket.
[Platform prompt: The other party send sensitive message. Blocked.]
[Don’t Bully the Rich Middle-aged: Wetin you send? I no see am.]
[Big Pearl Little Pearl Drops on Gold Plate: I send my location, but e no go.]
App dey do ITK. I dey vex. I frown, ask customer service. I dey type long message, dey para.
Dem say, for member safety, private meet up no dey. Only official process fit arrange meeting. E mean say dem dey protect their members. Na coded talk for more money.
No wahala, just small money. I dey! Who dem dey fear? I be Oga na!
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦4,194,304]
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦8,388,608]
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦16,777,216]
I dey recharge, dey hope say process go finish quick. I recharge till 4PM—procedure never finish. My hand dey pain me, but hope dey my face. I no vex. I just dey recharge as customer service dey request.
If e reach to fly to China for love, I go go! For love, I endure! I dey tell myself, "No pain, no gain!"
By 4:30, customer service send voice note. I dey expect sweet voice, maybe babe accent.
I play am—na young man voice: E sound like all those Ghanaians wey dey hustle for Ajah.
"Oga, abeg, I surrender. Na scam platform we dey run. No recharge again! No waste your money!"
For my mind, e dey pain me pass. So na so people dey run this package?
Vex catch me. I reply voice: "You think say I no fit pay? You dey look down on me?"
Na my stubbornness, e no dey let me gree.
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦33,554,432]
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦67,108,864]
[Ding! Mobile money alert: ₦134,217,728]
My phone dey overheat. Even app dey warn me.
Customer service ask for my number, call me, begin cry:
I no fit believe. Grown man dey beg me, dey cry for phone.
"Oga, abeg, stop to recharge! Na real scam platform—our HQ dey for Ghana. If you continue, we no fit even wash the money. All our accounts wan freeze. Abeg, oga, have mercy, stop, I dey beg you..."
If to say e see my face, e go know say Naija man stubborn pass goat. But the thing dey pain me. Na my hard-earned scam money dem dey beg for.
By 2AM, I finally accept say I don chop scam. Na so my chest tight. If shame fit kill, I for don kpeme. I carry my two hand cover face. Who go believe say I, Tunde, chop this kind breakfast?
Dem scam me three hundred million, telecom fraud. No be small thing. Na only Naija pikin fit run such level, still dey reason revenge.
To lose money na one thing, but to lose face? Na real pain be that. For street, na respect dey pain pass. My boys for estate no suppose hear this gist!
But as I dey plot revenge, I swear—if I no catch these people, make my Bariga boys rename me.
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