Chapter 6: Everything Scatter

After I calm my wife, I call my colleague ask about the deal.

My mind dey race, heart dey beat fast. I dey pray say make no bad news enter.

But my colleague say deal no dey again. My guy and owner don disappear.

E shock me. For my mind, na spiritual wahala. I dey shake, dey call my guy.

I shock. I call my guy, e no go.

As e no pick, I dey fear say maybe dem don enter new wahala. My hand dey shake, sweat dey my palm.

My mind dey cut, heart dey jump. Ten minutes later, my guy call back, voice weak, say deal spoil, make I come meet am.

I dey reason say maybe dem thief, maybe na police. But him voice low, like person wey lose bet.

I nearly faint. How this simple deal go spoil? I no fit calm.

My hand dey shake, sweat dey drip from my back, like say NEPA just take light for inside me. My legs dey weak. I just grab key, run outside, no even remember to lock door. Na so life be sometimes.

I meet my guy for one ice cream parlour near civic center. He sit down, face dull. Sister no dey.

Fan dey blow, but heat still dey. Pure water sellers dey waka outside, shouting “Ice water, ice water!”

As I see am, I know say matter serious. Him cloth rough, no dey smile. I buy one small pure water, sit down.

I ask wetin happen. My guy dey stammer.

He dey fidget, dey look everywhere. Sweat dey drop from him head.

He talk say deal dey go well, but agency wan collect 2% commission—na 300,000 for fifteen million house—and his sister say she know person for mortgage company…

Omo, as he talk, my body cold. I dey suspect wahala.

I shock. "No tell me say una try dodge the 2% and go meet owner direct?"

I look am for eye. For this business, na capital sin be that.

He keep quiet.

E no talk anything. E just dey look ground. I know say kasala don burst.

My body cold instantly, lips dey shake.

I dey vibrate. My phone dey my hand, but e heavy like stone.

"You know say that owner dey drown for debt? Person wey dey sell that cheap, una still wan pass agency?"

My chest dey pain me. If na another place, na slap for face.

My guy start dey panic, say owner look real at first, gree meet for civic center, say he go transfer house once he see money, even carry all documents come.

E dey try explain say e no suspect anything. Owner package die—correct suit, good perfume, no shakara.

After payment, owner say he wan use toilet, my guy follow am go ice cream parlour toilet.

Dem wan confirm everything. No wahala. Owner still dey shine teeth.

Owner dey press phone, dey watch TikTok Nigeria for toilet, volume high. But after small time, my guy reason say something no dey right—who dey watch TikTok for five minutes straight, same video dey repeat?

As e dey yarn, my mind dey drift—who dey reason TikTok when millions dey table?

If video good, you watch am two, three times, but this guy watch am pass twelve times.

I dey count with my ear. E no make sense at all.

So my guy start knock, no answer. He break door, see say window don open. Owner don jump window, blood full for window.

Na film trick. E jump window, use hand cut. Blood dey everywhere. Omo, owner get mind.

By the time my guy chase, owner don vanish.

Owner sharp pass us. Na so e just carry our money waka.

My guy dey beg, say he no believe owner fit ditch phone and wound himself just to run.

E dey cry. Say e never see person get that kind mind before. Money na strong thing o.

I nearly craze.

Na so my head just blank. I wan shout, but ice cream dey my mouth.

I insult am for the ice cream parlour. "You dey mad? How much phone be? Cut arm on glass no mean anything. Na fifteen million! If I break your phone, cut your arm, give you fifteen million, you no go do am?"

People for parlour dey look us. Some dey laugh, some dey pity us. But me, na only my one million dey my mind.

My one million… don waka.

Na like say make ground open. My eye red. I dey reason say I go run mad.

All the demolition hope, the flipping game I dey chase—everything just disappear. I taste money, then e vanish. How I go take explain to myself, to my wife wey always stand for me?

I dey remember her tears, her trust. I dey remember pikin smile. E pain me.

I nearly cry finish.

Tears dey my eye. I dey squeeze pure water, dey shiver.

I ask if he call police, and where him sister dey.

My voice crack, but I no even care. I need answer.

My guy say he don call police, but him sister dey fear say I go craze, so she don run.

I hiss, dey look roof. Women dey fear wahala. I no blame her.

Of course I go craze! I fit slap that woman twice.

No be only slap, I fit even drag her wig. But wetin slap go solve?

All because of 300,000 commission, lose fifteen million! Na only mumu go dodge agency for this kind owner. I no even know how his sister get sense gather two million for this deal.

My head dey spin. For small gain, dem lose everything. I dey reason say maybe I too dey mumu. But na hope dey kill person.

I no even expect police to find the guy. Person wey dey owe like that, fit don plan run abroad. If him never get travel ban, e fit dey airport now.

If na Naija police, e go take prayer. If you no get connection, case don close.

I grit my teeth, tell my guy, "Police too slow. I dey go airport now. You wait for police here, make your mumu sister go train and bus station, call your guys go highway entrance. I remember the Range Rover plate—make dem block highway."

I dey shout, dey scatter orders like I be sergeant. Time no dey for dulling.

I know say time no dey, we need move.

For Lagos, if you slack, person fit disappear forever. You go dey reason say e dey Ojota, but na Ghana e don enter.

My guy no waste time, we split.

Everybody jump into action. Me sef dey run like say I be film star.

Danfo horn dey blast, okada dey zigzag, my heart dey pound like generator for rainy season. For car, my body cold, every breath dey heavy.

I dey look window, dey pray. All the plans, all the hope, everything dey hang.

One million… you know wetin that mean?

If you see my face, e be like say I just lose mama. Heart dey bleed.

I dey cry. At first, na just small sob, later, na wailing.

Tears full my face. Driver dey look me for mirror. E think say I dey craze.

Driver ask me wetin happen. I tell am make he just drive.

He say, "Oga, no vex. Na only God fit help person for this Lagos."

If I no get this money back, I no fit look my wife face again. She wait patiently for demolition money, just dey hope say we go hustle small, send pikin go good school.

Her hope na my own hope. If e scatter, na both of us dey inside wahala.

She do everything for me, but now hope don finish.

Na so I dey remember when she dey toast me, dey encourage me, even when I dey trek for sun. If I fail, na her own hope go break pass.

For airport, I search everywhere, even buy cheap ticket to check all corners, shops, VIP lounge, but owner no show.

I waka everywhere, sweat dey my back, shoe dey cut. I buy bottle water, pour for head. Owner disappear like magician.

My guy message me—train, bus, highway, everywhere blank.

Nobody see anything. All our connection just blank. Omo, street no get joy.

E don finish.

Na so my chest fall. My leg weak. Hope just die.

That thief don vanish.

E sharp pass us. Na so e just dey laugh somewhere, dey chop our sweat.

I just call everybody make dem gather. My guy tell me make I no vex too much, say if I see him sister, make I no para.

I dey look phone, dey shake. My mind dey far. I dey reason say maybe tomorrow go better. But today, I dey loss.

Omo…

As I sit down for airport lobby, my eye red, my hand dey shake, one old woman waka pass, look me, shake head. I just hiss, stand up, tell myself: 'Life na turn by turn.' Today na my loss, but tomorrow fit be my own jackpot. For this Naija, hope na the only thing wey no dey finish.

As I dey look airport glass, I swear for my mind—next time, na me go run this street.