Chapter 6: Dreams, Dodo and Destiny

For house, I sit for desk. I wan do test, but my mind no dey.

I open book, but all the letter dey dance. My hand dey heavy. Tears threaten, but I gats hold am. Na only me for room, silence everywhere.

Timi face with tears dey my head.

E dey follow me everywhere—kitchen, parlour, even inside dream. As I close eye, na only Timi I dey see. E pain me, but I no fit talk am out.

Since we meet, e dey follow me everywhere, dey care for me. I fit stubborn, but e get patience.

E dey buy me gala after school, dey wait for me for gate. If rain fall, e go remove own sweater, give me. E dey understand me pass anybody.

And Timi na my spec—six foot one, broad shoulder, long leg, fine body. I don even dream say I go marry am: come back from work, see Timi for kitchen, apron with bare chest, dey fry plantain. E dey sing Burna Boy low, dey dance shaku shaku as e fry dodo. The picture dey my mind like film—sweet aroma of dodo, Timi dey dance as e fry. Na that kind home I dey pray for.

Na sweet life be that.

My hope dey ground, but dream still dey inside me. Maybe one day, e go fit come true.

But now... I fit only be friend.

Reality dey slap me. If I force am, pain go too much. I no wan lose myself for love wey no sure.

I no fit risk am. Ten years of hard work—UNILAG na my dream. I no fit fail. I no wan make my parents lose their only pikin.

I dey hear my papa voice: "Sade, book first. Love fit wait." I gats obey. If I lose chance now, I go regret am forever.

I try console myself: when I reach university, better guys go dey. As for Timi, if e and Kamsi dey meant to be, make dem dey. Everybody go happy.

I dey force smile for mirror. "You go dey alright, Sade. Life no end for here."

Suddenly, comments show:

[Author sabi touch person heart. To see guy with supporting babe pain me, but thank God dem break—e still pure!]

[Guy no sharp. E just notice say e body get as e be—the supporting babe try!]

[OMG, guy don call babe, wan see her tonight!]

[E dey baff so tey, dey use body wash—na to smell good for tonight?]

[Ahhh, famous scene dey come! Double wahala go land, dem go rise together!]

My head dey spin. All these group people no get joy. Dem dey celebrate pain like say na party. My own heartbreak na their entertainment.

My pen drop for test paper.

I pick am, but e heavy for hand. I dey think, "Who dey write my life—me or them?" If na so, I go change story for dem.

Me and Timi together then break up—e be like say na my decision, but e be like script dey push me. All na to move main couple forward.

I dey fear say no matter wetin I do, I no fit escape supporting role. Even my own heartbreak dey serve as seasoning for main couple love.

Cold sweat cover my back. I feel powerless, as if script dey control me.

My palm dey wet. I dey look window, dey wish say make everything just pause, make time wait for me.

I bite my teeth, carry phone, wan call Timi—pause.

My finger dey hover, but I dey suspect say na plot dey drive me. If I call am, no be say I dey follow the script wey dem don write?

E fit be plot again?

If I move anyhow, my own character go spoil. I gats reason am well before I act.

If I spoil main couple date, no be prove say I be villain?

If wahala show, dem go say na me dey cause am. I no wan make my name turn villain forever for school gist.

I think well, call class teacher, beg am to change my seat for Monday.

I yarn teacher say I wan focus for exam, say noise too much for my side. Teacher reason am, gree sharp sharp. "Sade, na book sure pass," she yarn me.

As I be good student, teacher gree.

For my mind, na small victory. I dey save myself before wahala go choke me finish.

I breathe out. As long as I far from dem, I no go enter main couple wahala.

My chest calm small. At least, na my life I dey control now. If I no see Timi and Kamsi every day, maybe my wound go heal.

As I sit for back, I dey reason—if I no fit change my story, who go do am for me?