Chapter 5: The Mother I’ll Become

Harper stared at me, unimpressed. I shrugged, trying to look innocent.

"I remember I’d just finished an exam two days before it happened. I even remember the questions. If I really lost my memory, there’s no way I’d remember all that for ten years."

I rattled off a few details—professor’s name, the essay prompt, even the song stuck in my head that day. Harper’s expression softened, just a little.

Harper raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. I fidgeted, waiting.

She knew me almost as well as she knew herself.

We’d grown up together, survived awkward dances, bad breakups, and everything in between. If anyone would believe me, it was her.

I pursed my lips, embarrassed. "Okay, the day before, I’d just said yes when Drew Foster asked me out."

I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, cheeks burning. Saying his name out loud felt strange, like invoking a ghost from another life.

Harper’s mouth twisted into a smirk.

She shook her head, muttering something about "finally giving in." I rolled my eyes, but the tension in the room eased a little.

Then she rattled off everything that had happened in the past ten years.

Her words were fast, clipped, as if she’d rehearsed this speech a hundred times. She painted a picture of a life I barely recognized—heartbreak, betrayal, illness. My head spun as I tried to keep up.

Turns out, the me from ten years later really was sick. Bipolar disorder.

Harper’s eyes softened with sympathy. "You started having mood swings after the breakup. It got pretty bad, Maya. You had to see a doctor, get on meds."

And the reason was my ex-boyfriend Drew Foster cheating on me.

She didn’t sugarcoat it. Drew had been charming on the surface, but underneath, he was manipulative, toxic. The betrayal had shattered me.

Harper said that after Drew and I got together, he seemed nice but was secretly manipulative. By the time she realized something was wrong, it was too late.

She looked guilty, as if she wished she could have done more. I squeezed her hand, grateful she was here now, even if we’d been estranged for years.

Later, Drew accused Harper of trying to seduce him, and in my messed-up state, I cut her off.

I winced at the memory, even though I didn’t actually remember it. The pain in Harper’s eyes was real enough. I mumbled an apology, voice thick with regret.

At 27, Drew dumped me. His new girlfriend was my college roommate. I couldn’t handle it, and that’s when I developed bipolar disorder.

Harper’s words were blunt but kind. No judgment. Just the facts. I felt like I was hearing someone else’s life story, but the ache in my chest was all too real.

"Damn, that’s rough."

I held my forehead and sighed.

It was all so much—too much. I wanted to crawl under the covers and never come out. But Harper just patted my knee, her touch grounding me.

That was basically the tragic first half of Maya Evans’ life. What a mess.

I let out a shaky laugh, trying to lighten the mood. "Guess I wasn’t exactly living the dream, huh?" Harper snorted, but her eyes were kind.

"So who’s my husband now?"

I straightened up, trying to sound casual. But the question was burning a hole in my brain. I needed to know.

That was still my biggest concern.

Everything else could wait. The mystery man was the missing piece of the puzzle.

Harper looked at me, paused. "It’s Julian Carter," she said.

"What!"

I practically shouted, startling Harper. My mind reeled, trying to connect the dots. Julian Carter. Of all people.

I never would have guessed. Ten years later, married to Julian Carter.

I flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. My life had taken a turn I never saw coming. Julian Carter. The golden boy next door.

Me, Harper, and Julian basically grew up together as childhood friends.

We were the neighborhood trio—always together, always getting into trouble. We built forts in the woods, rode our bikes until the streetlights came on, shared secrets under the stars. Those were the days.

The three of us lived in the same apartment building as kids and went to the same school.

Our moms carpooled, our dads grilled burgers together on weekends. Julian was the glue that held us together, the one who always knew how to make us laugh.

Julian was always the golden boy—good-looking, smart, and kind.

He had that all-American charm. Dimples, sandy hair, a smile that could melt hearts.

He’d help neighbors carry groceries and give up his seat on the bus.

He was the kind of kid who’d mow Mrs. Williams’ lawn without being asked, who’d stay late after practice to help clean up. He made kindness look easy.

Back then, I was a brat, and the more my parents praised him, the more annoyed I got.

I used to roll my eyes whenever my mom compared me to Julian—"Why can’t you be more like him, Maya?" It drove me nuts, but deep down, I admired him.

But I was a sucker for a cute face. I couldn’t help staring at him, which usually made him blush.

I’d catch him looking at me in class, and we’d both turn bright red. It was innocent, sweet, the kind of crush you never really outgrow.

When I outgrew the little kid phase and started crushing on people, I did have a bit of a thing for him. But too many girls liked him, so I just shrank back.

I figured he’d never notice me, not with half the school swooning over him. So I kept my feelings to myself, content to be his friend.

Even if he treated me a little differently, I chalked it up to childhood friendship—especially since he later moved away for college.

He sent postcards from the East Coast, stories about dorm life and late-night pizza runs. I missed him, but life moved on. Or so I thought.

Now Harper tells me Julian Carter married me.

I sat up, rubbing my temples. The idea was so surreal, it almost made me laugh. If only my high school self could see me now.

That shock was like seeing the Detroit Lions win the Super Bowl. In other words, impossible.

Suddenly, another question hit me.

The pieces started to fall into place, but there was still one big mystery left.

"Harper, Louie is four and a half. I broke up with Drew at 27, so Louie is...?"

I did the math in my head, frowning. The timeline didn’t add up. Harper shifted uncomfortably, avoiding my gaze.

Harper looked awkward. "Back then, we’d already stopped talking, so I only heard things secondhand. I heard... you and Julian were caught in bed by Drew, and Louie? Honestly, I have no idea."

Her voice was gentle, but the words stung. I tried to process it, but my mind kept tripping over the details. Nothing made sense.

There was so much information, my brain felt like it was about to short-circuit.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to panic. It was all too much, too fast. I needed answers, but all I had were more questions.

So, I might have been pregnant with someone else’s kid and married Julian Carter. Wow.

The thought made my head spin. I couldn’t imagine Julian agreeing to that, not unless there was more to the story. My heart ached for both of them—Julian and Louie.

That thought nearly made me faint.

I lay back on the bed, staring at the ceiling fan as it spun lazily overhead. My life had turned into a soap opera, and I was the main character.

No wonder there were only my things in the room—Julian probably didn’t like me much.

I felt a wave of loneliness, sharper than before. Was I just a placeholder in his life? Did he resent me for dragging him into this mess?

If that’s the case, why did he marry me? There had to be more to the story.

"Wait, Harper, if Drew cheated, how could he catch me and Julian in bed?"

The logic didn’t add up. I frowned, trying to piece together the timeline. Harper shrugged, looking uncomfortable.

Even if I could do something like that. Julian isn’t that kind of guy.

I trusted him, even if I barely remembered him. He was always honest, always did the right thing. The thought of him being dragged into this mess made me feel even worse.

Harper said, "I don’t know the details. Apparently, Drew wanted to break up with you, but you refused, so he ‘caught’ you with Julian and used it as an excuse."

She rolled her eyes, clearly skeptical of the whole story. "It was all a setup, Maya. Drew just wanted out, and you got caught in the crossfire."

This story was way too wild. I rubbed my face. I felt like I was missing a few brain cells.

Harper laughed, the sound warm and familiar. "Join the club. None of it makes sense, but that’s what happened."

Harper patted my shoulder. "Face it, girl. After all that, you really did lose your mind. But Maya, honestly, whether you lost your memory or time-traveled, I’ve only got one thing to say: be good to Louie. I can’t get involved in your mess with Julian, but this kid is really pitiful. Julian’s busy with work and gone half the year. You didn’t like Louie before and barely paid attention to him."

Her words hit me harder than anything else. I swallowed hard, guilt burning in my chest. Louie deserved better. I’d make sure of it.

I started crying.

Tears slid down my cheeks, hot and silent. Harper handed me a tissue, her eyes soft. For the first time in a long time, I let myself feel everything—the regret, the hope, the determination to do better.

The dad might be a question mark. But the mom? Definitely real.

I wiped my eyes and smiled through the tears. Louie was mine, no matter what the past held. That was one thing I could hold onto.

Little angel Louie, get ready for your mom’s overwhelming love from now on.

I made a silent promise to him and to myself. Whatever it took, I’d make up for lost time. I’d be the mom he deserved, starting today.