Chapter 1: Wake Up to Wahala

The day after I started dating the campus beauty, na so I just waka enter ten years for front.

As I open my eyes, I see one small pikin dey by my bedside, dey call me Daddy with fear for him voice.

Inside me, I happy well, I dey reason say at last, I don end up with the school beauty.

But before I know, na broken wedding photo I jam for storage room.

My wife, ten years later, no be the school beauty—na her.

If person tell me say life fit turn reach like this, I for swear say na lie. The way everything scatter, e be like Nollywood film wey dem shoot on top sudden heartbreak. As I dey process am, cold dey catch my body, but I gats brace up. Na only God know how this wahala start.

1

As I wake up, na another bed I see myself dey lie down. My mouth dry like person wey chop raw garri, my head dey spin as I try balance for strange mattress. I dey struggle with one phone wey I no even sabi the brand, before I come realize say I don jump reach ten years for future.

Before I fit settle my mind, one small shadow rush enter from the door.

Sharp sharp, I just lie down back, pretend say I still dey sleep.

The footsteps waka come near, then one soft small hand touch my forehead.

Na small pikin voice I hear, dey talk say wetin e chop, wetin e play with lately.

As I dey reason how I take relate with this pikin, the next thing wey e talk shock me reach bone.

E say, “Daddy, you don sick for days. Why you no wan wake up? You no like Fanfan again? But Fanfan really miss you. Daddy, abeg wake up.”

My heart jump—wetin I go talk? I no even sabi this pikin, but e dey call me Daddy. My eyes open gbam.

I see one small boy for bed side, e resemble me reach like half, dey look me with big, scared eyes.

Before I fit talk, the pikin don run comot for the room.

Ah God!

Wetin be all this?

You dey whine me? Yesterday night, na the school beauty just gree for my proposal, I never even hold her hand.

I open eye, my pikin don big like this?

My body dey do me one kind, like say village people dey use remote control for my life. As I sidon dey confuse, I fit hear generator hum for outside, plus faint aroma of egusi soup for kitchen, but my mind no gree calm. The fear of the unknown just dey hold my chest tight.

Even the generator dey cough like old Okada, but nobody send am—na normal for Naija.