Chapter 4: Old Wounds

In the end, the tie was tied for nothing.

I looked down at the perfect Windsor knot, equal parts proud and exasperated. He’d have to retie it anyway.

Afterwards, Caleb carried me to the bathroom to clean up.

He always insisted on taking care of me, even for the smallest things. It made my heart ache, in a good way.

He suddenly lowered his eyes, his breath brushing over the top of my head.

His hand rested on my waist, grounding me. Even in the most ordinary moments, he made me feel special.

"Derek Sullivan invited us to dinner next week. Are you free?"

He asked it like it was a simple question, but I could hear the hope in his voice.

"He just opened a bar he invested in, and invited a bunch of our high school friends. You know them all," he explained.

I pictured the old crew—Derek with his quick wit, Marcus always two steps behind the conversation, and Rachel, the shadow I could never quite shake.

A high school reunion, huh.

Just the thought of it brought back a rush of memories—the smell of cafeteria pizza, the echo of lockers slamming shut, the way Caleb used to walk the halls with his backpack slung over one shoulder.

Did Derek invite Rachel Monroe?

Her name hovered on the tip of my tongue, bitter and sweet all at once.

I thought for two seconds, then shook my head and declined.

There was no way I could face them all right now—not when my heart was still so raw.

"Because of the producers’ demands, I had to add an important supporting female character to my script at the last minute."

I tried to keep my tone light, but the truth was, I was drowning in rewrites.

"There are a lot of scenes I’m responsible for that need to be changed. I’m about to join the crew, so I probably won’t have time."

I tried to sound casual, but my stomach twisted. Would he see through me?

I felt a pang of guilt, but I knew I needed space.

"Sorry."

I shrugged, hoping he didn’t see through the lie.

Derek, Caleb, and my brother were childhood friends.

They’d grown up on the same block, playing pickup basketball at the park, raiding each other’s pantries for snacks. Their bond was the kind you can’t fake, forged in scraped knees and summer bike rides.

We all went to the same high school in Silver Hollow.

A sleepy Ohio town where everyone knew your business and Friday night football was religion.

When I was a freshman, Caleb was a senior.

He seemed larger than life back then—cool, unapproachable, the kind of boy every girl secretly wrote about in her diary.

I often hung out with my brother and their group.

I always felt like an outsider, hovering at the edges, hoping no one would notice how much I watched Caleb.

Because I secretly liked Caleb, and because I was introverted and slow to warm up,

I’d memorize his favorite songs, pretend not to care when he laughed with other girls. My brother never had a clue.

I mostly listened quietly as everyone joked and chatted.

Sometimes I’d laugh at the right moments, hoping to blend in. Other times, I’d just doodle in my notebook, content to be nearby.

I would silently follow Caleb with my eyes, watching his every move, trying to learn his likes and dislikes.

It was a little embarrassing, in hindsight—how obvious I must have been. But I couldn’t help it. He was my gravity.

Just to get a little closer to him.

I lived for the scraps of attention he tossed my way—the occasional smile, the offhanded question about homework. It was enough.

When I took physics tests, I’d tank a few questions on purpose, just so I could ask him to help me after school.

Just to have an excuse to ask Caleb for help.

He always explained things patiently, never making me feel stupid. I treasured every minute.

Until the next semester, when Rachel Monroe suddenly transferred into Caleb’s class.

She blew in like a spring storm—loud, bright, impossible to ignore. Suddenly, I was background noise.

She had excellent grades and a lively personality. Not only was she an old acquaintance of Caleb, but she quickly fit in with his group of friends.

She was the kind of girl who made everyone feel like they were her best friend. I never stood a chance.

But I didn’t expect Rachel to come find me alone.

She cornered me by the lockers, her eyes sharp and assessing. I felt like a bug under a microscope.

"Natalie, do you like Caleb?"

Her question hit me like a punch to the gut. I stammered, suddenly aware of every awkward gesture.

My eyelashes trembled uncontrollably, and for a moment, I didn’t know how to respond.

I wanted to deny it, but the truth must have been written all over my face.

No one—not even my brother—knew about my secret crush on Caleb.

I guarded that secret like it was a matter of national security.

Rachel tilted her head, half-smiling as she looked at me.

Her confidence was dazzling. I felt small and childish in comparison. She leaned against the lockers, arms crossed, blocking my way.

"But Caleb told me he only thinks of you as a little sister."

She didn’t say it unkindly, but the words stung. I felt the air leave my lungs.

"I’m going to confess to Caleb. If he accepts, then..."

She trailed off, letting the implication hang in the air.

"Natalie, from now on, don’t use studying as an excuse to get close to Caleb, okay?"

Her tone was almost gentle, but the meaning was clear. Stay in your lane.

After Rachel confessed to Caleb,

I watched from the sidelines, pretending it didn’t matter. But I heard every whisper in the hallway, saw every lingering glance.

She even came to me specifically for a "heart-to-heart."

She found me in the library, sliding into the seat across from me like we were old friends.

"I’ve known Caleb since we were little. I transferred schools because of him, and it’s thanks to Caleb that I could transfer to Silver Hollow High for the second semester of senior year."

She looked so sure of herself, like the world had been laid out just for her.

"I’d planned to be with Caleb after the SATs, but since I got early admission, I don’t want to wait anymore."

She tapped her acceptance letter on the table, the college crest gleaming in the fluorescent light.

"Little sister, you should focus on your studies."

Her words were final, a velvet rope keeping me on the outside.

After that—

I faded further into the background, watching their story unfold from a safe distance.

I don’t know why, but Rachel and Caleb broke up.

Rumors swirled, but no one ever told me the truth. I tried not to care, but it was impossible.

When the song 'White Moonlight and Red Thread' became popular,

It played at every school dance, every prom afterparty. The lyrics made my heart ache with longing.

At a gathering, everyone talked about first loves.

The nostalgia in the room was thick enough to choke on.

Derek laughed and teased:

"Caleb has one. He’s always been single because he’s waiting for someone."

Everyone laughed, but I couldn’t help wondering who he was really waiting for.