Chapter 3: Palava for Palace

But wahala people no dey ever rest.

If na market, na dem dey first hear rumor. If you ask around, dem go tell you say, "Wahala na im dey last for party." For palace, wahala dey hide for everywhere, like rat for store.

Look my study mate, Baba Lawal pikin, Lawal Musa—him get different mind from my own.

Lawal Musa na correct Fulani boy. Mind dey sharp, eyes dey bright. If e dey talk, you go feel am—ambition dey drip for im word. E no fit stay one place like me, e dey always dey hustle for more. E dey always wear small cap, shoe no dey touch ground—like true Fulani pikin.

He dey always talk say, real man wey God born for this world no suppose dey under another person shadow forever; e gats do something wey go shake everywhere, make e no waste this life.

E go dey quote old Fulani proverb for me: "Cow wey wan drink from river no dey fear crocodile." E believe say if you wan make name, you go fight reach where you dey go.

As e get sense, na so e sabi book and fight.

Book dey sweet am, fight sef dey sweet am. If teacher throw question, Lawal Musa hand dey always up. If dem ring wrestling bell, e go remove shirt first. Na im dey teach others for night prep.

Anytime WAEC show, I dey always last for three princes, but Lawal Musa dey always first among the study mates.

Result day, dem go paste am for palace wall. Lawal Musa name go shine for top; me, I dey check bottom—sometimes my paper go even miss. Teachers go just dey shake head, Lawal Musa go dey look me with pity.

E dey shame am, so e dey try all trick to force me make I read like am.

Sometimes e go lock door, hide my slippers, say I no go chop if I no read. Even arrange boys make dem dey sing reading song outside my window. All na to make me learn.

Every day before cock crow, e go dey my door, dey knock window:

If I no answer, e go start to shout Yoruba prayer, "Ori mi, wake up!" People for compound go dey laugh say, "See as Musa dey try."

“Bayo, stand up! Teacher go teach Bible and history today—if you late, you go miss am!”

Sometimes e go drag me for leg, throw wrapper for my body, say, "No allow village people win today!"

After food, e go drag me go field for wrestling practice.

Me wey dey like chop, e go force me dey jump fence, wrestle for sand. If I try dodge, e go show me stick, say, "No be only mouth dey sharp."

Sand dey enter my eye, sweat dey pepper my face, crowd dey shout "Oya Bayo, stand up!"

Eldest Brother go see as I dey nod for top horse, e go tell me make I rest small.

Femi sabi say my body no too strong, sometimes e go tap me, say, "Bayo, abeg, no kill yourself. Go relax for shade."

But Lawal Musa go carry stick, go poke horse yansh, make the horse run mad.

Horse go begin gallop like say juju catch am. Me go dey shout, "Egbami o!" Lawal Musa go dey laugh. Na so I learn how to balance well for saddle.

Na so I nearly fall, I no get choice, I gats hold rein, use all my power learn how to ride and shoot.

Hand go dey shake, sweat go dey pour, but small small I begin get sense for the riding. No be by choice, na survival.

Even for night, Lawal Musa no dey let me rest.

E go dey shine lantern for my face, dey recite multiplication table. E go even threaten to pour cold water if I sleep too early.

E go carry cane like say e be teacher, force me recite everything wey I learn that day before e go let me sleep.

Sometimes, na so so "wrong!" "Repeat am!" I go hear till voice don crack. If I mix story, e go squeeze face like person wey chop bitterleaf.

But no matter how e try, I go still forget all the thing wey I cram, e go vex break cane for table.

You go hear small "kai!" for night. E go bite finger, look me, say, "Bayo, wetin dey worry you now?"

Still, Lawal Musa no dey gree give up.

E get stubborn head. Next day, new plan go land. If one way no work, another style go show.

E go dey reason whether na because e never strict reach, next thing e go find new way to press me.

If na prayer, e go add fasting. If na song, e go sing loud. E even try bribe me with roasted corn sometimes, e believe say food fit move me.

Wetin I go do?

I dey look am, dey wonder whether I be project for im mind. But as e dey try, I dey dodge.

I gats tell am: “When I small, I fall inside stream, catch fever wey no go, e affect my brain. Abeg, no waste your strength for my head.”

Na my favorite excuse. Once I yarn am, e go pause, scratch head, look me with soft pity.

But e go just answer: “Na the bird wey no sabi fly suppose start dey flap wing early!”

E dey always drop one kind proverb—meaning say, na me suppose dey hustle pass.

Person wey no dey hear word.

Even if you tie earplugs for im ear, e no dey stop. E go dey preach, dey motivate. Lawal Musa get lion heart.

Sometimes I dey suspect say Papa Oba see say my life too sweet, e dey vex say I no get ambition, na im make am carry Lawal Musa come put for my body as punishment.

I dey suspect, because who else go fit assign person wey get fire for body to person wey just dey cruise? Na like put pepper for pap—wahala sure.