Chapter 2: Ten Years of Service
"Ikenna, we don chop finish. Come pay the bill, then book the next place make we go sing."
Na so her voice enter my ear like emergency alert. Even before I drop my bag for house, my phone dey ring, her voice cut like new razor, no joy inside. As I dey listen, I fit imagine her face—eyebrow up, lips bend, body language like principal wey dey talk to junior boy.
I never even reach house from work finish when Amaka call me. Her voice just full of vex, her order sharp like say I be her houseboy.
E no get how I go explain am—once she call, my body dey ready to jump. Even my neighbour, Mama Chisom, don dey ask me, "Ikenna, this your madam dey pay you salary?" I go just laugh, dey dodge the question. Deep down, I know say na only small time remain before my service go end.
But for her mind, na so e be—I just be her loyal mumu wey dey answer her call for ten years now.
You fit see am for her eye. To Amaka, I be like remote wey dem don program. I dey on standby, dey wait for her next command. Her friends sef no dey greet me as their mate; na as Amaka messenger dem dey take see me.
I don dey mumu for Amaka since school days reach my thirties.
If you see my throwback pictures, you go laugh. From faded uniform to faded office shirt, na the same Ikenna dey carry Amaka load. Years dey waka, but the job never change. Even my mama don tire to pray for me.
For secondary school, dem pursue me because I fight for her. When I start to work, I no just finish my salary, I even carry loan from microfinance and borrow from friends on top her head.
No be say I dey make mouth. The day I fight for her for school, na so my school bag land for principal office. My papa nearly use broom finish me that night. When I start to earn small change, na Amaka pocket first dey see the money. If you ask my friends, dem go show you list of who I still dey owe, all because "Amaka say..."
All because ten years ago, Mumu System bind me. If I no obey Amaka every wish, or my mumu no pure, electric shock go finish me.
If I try form hard guy, na thunder go remind me say mumu get consequences. Sometimes, I dey fear say one day I go shock pass myself go land for hospital. Na so I dey dey, dey follow instruction, dey pray make the ten years run quick.
But if I fit mumu for ten years complete, one billion naira cash go land for my hand.
E dey funny sha, but na the truth. If I tell you how I dey calculate the days, you go think say I dey count days for NYSC. My calendar for phone get big red mark for the day the money suppose land.
At first, I no believe am—until one day, Amaka tell me make I help her clean classroom. I refuse, say I wan go house go watch Super Eagles match.
That day, I vex. Super Eagles dey play Ghana, match of the year. I look Amaka, talk say, "Abeg, make I dey go."
The moment I talk no, na so current just run my body. I shout, fall for ground, na after some time I manage stand up.
E shock me no be small. Na like say NEPA wire touch my heart. My leg dey shake, my mouth dey open, I no even fit shout again.
Amaka look surprise. "If you no wan help, talk true—why you dey act like say pain dey worry you?"
She look me up and down, eyebrow raise. She no even suspect say anything dey wrong. Me sef, I no fit explain. My body still dey shake like generator wey fuel dey finish.
After that shock, I sharply collect broom from her. "Who talk say I no go help? I go do am, I go do am. Na just excitement dey worry me to clean with you."
From that day, I no dey try myself again. Anything Amaka talk, I dey answer, "Yes ma!" My guy, even if she talk make I jump for gutter, I go first test the water with my leg.
From that day, na so I turn loyal mumu for Amaka, no fit say no, always dey fear say system go judge me say my mumu no reach.
Sometimes I go dey look mirror, ask myself, "Ikenna, na so your life go be?" But if I remember the one billion, my body go cool small. Still, e no easy.
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