Chapter 7: Goodbye to Yesterday

Sani Garba shock.

His eyes big like person wey see snake for bedroom. For corner, him friend just clear throat, carry face waka. Even the junior boys wey dey peep run comot. Silence dey everywhere.

That hearing aid na him birthday gift for me when he clock seventeen.

The memory rush back—Sani Garba dey sweat for small kiosk, dey price different hearing aid. He gather money from shoemaking, pure water hawking, just to buy am. Na so he cherish me that year.

Garba family no dey spoil pikin. Sani Garba no dey get plenty pocket money. He use two months holiday job gather the money buy that hearing aid.

For this our area, e rare to see boy wey go hustle for girl, no be only for Valentine. The gift mean well to me, but now, e pain me more say na him spoil am.

That time, seventeen-year-old Sani Garba sneak put the hearing aid for my ear as I dey sleep.

I still remember as he tiptoe enter our parlour, careful not to wake my papa. He bend, fit whisper prayer for my ear, then fit use wrapper cover me as I sleep. That morning, I wake up with surprise, happy like say I win lottery.

As I wake, cry for joy, he just panic dey try calm me.

He dey jump up and down, dey wipe my tears with old handkerchief, dey beg make I no shout so neighbours no go come ask question. I laugh, then he laugh too, our joy just pure that year.

Sani Garba treat me well before, till Mama Garba dey always talk say she wan make me her daughter-in-law. Sani Garba go dey shine teeth talk:

Mama Garba go call me her pikin, dey give me jollof rice extra for Sallah. Sani Garba go carry my bag for after school, dey drag me go buy ice cream for junction. Him jokes always dey sweet me die.

"Of course! I dey raise my wife since, you think say na for another person?"

He dey talk am for public, dey chase away other boys wey dey near me. Even teachers dey tease us. People for street don already dey plan how our wedding go look.

Everybody believe say we go go university together, fall in love, marry.

Neighbours dey talk say our pikin go fine, say our own na example for love. Even my mama dey sew small wrapper, dey keep for future.

Sani Garba grow up for next compound with Grandpa Garba. He dey wake me every morning, carry my school bag.

He dey knock my window with biro, dey whistle old Hausa song. Grandpa Garba dey wave us as we dey go school, sometimes dash us groundnut for road.

He confess to me, I blush, I gree.

Na for fence behind mosque, he talk him mind. I dey blush, dey hide face, but my heart dey fly. Na so two of us begin dream big together.

But everything change when Hauwa show.

The first day Hauwa land, she dey wear red shoe, dey speak Queen’s English. Teachers dey praise her handwriting, boys dey follow her bumper. Sani Garba first look am like say he dey see film star.

As she transfer come, Sani Garba wey dey sit near me, just dey look her steady.

I notice the way his eyes dey follow her waka, the way he dey arrange his shirt anytime she pass. Small small, distance dey grow between us, silent but sharp.

That moment, I know say something don change.

The air for class just shift—no more gist, no more playful fights. I dey notice my own seat dey cold, my own jokes dey fall flat.

True true, Sani Garba and Hauwa begin close. He stop to dey follow me go house, back seat of him bicycle become Hauwa own.

For street, people dey notice, but dem no dey talk. Na only my heart dey break small small. Even my mama ask me if I do Sani Garba anything.

Even as I comot body from Sani Garba, Hauwa still dey vex for me.

She go dey side-eye me for class, dey mutter for back. She dey form tough, like say na me dey block her shine. Girls dey form clique, some dey support her, others dey pity me.

She accuse me say I dey read book just to make people think say Sani Garba pick wrong person.

She talk am loud for class, people dey laugh. My own wahala be say I no fit explain my heart, so I just keep quiet. Wetin person go talk for this kain matter?

Small small, even Sani Garba believe am, begin dey vex for me.

He no dey laugh my joke again, no dey check on me for test. If I greet am for road, he fit just wave small. The pain dey slice me like new blade.

He hold Hauwa hand, insult me for front of class say I dey pretend.

He talk am one day as everybody dey do assignment, make sure say all ears hear. Boys dey jeer, girls dey whisper. I just hold tears, dey face my book.

Hauwa go dey cry, accuse me say I no get shame, say I dey try scatter them.

Her own wahala no dey finish. She dey cry for every small thing, dey make teachers pity am. People begin say I too dey stubborn.

But na me and Sani Garba grow up together. Na him confess to me, promise say after exam, we go dey together.

That promise still dey my chest, but I no fit hold person wey no wan stay. For this life, heart no get brake.

Sani Garba just stand, no talk.

He just stare like goat wey see rain. For small minute, I feel say him fit talk sorry, but nothing come out. I just waka comot.

I just tire.

I no fit dey fight shadow. My energy no reach. I just dey survive, dey move forward small small.

I comot body from Sani Garba, think say e go bring peace.

But even as I move, wahala still dey follow me. Kaduna girls no dey forget story quick.

Till today.

……

Sani Garba open mouth, wan talk.

His mouth open small, but nothing come out. For the first time, I see fear for his face. Maybe e realize say all the drama get price.

From opposite, Hauwa shout:

Her voice loud, full of command. She stamp foot, hand for waist. Some boys for corridor just dey laugh small.

"Sani, abeg make we dey go. Follow me go house."

Her words no be request. Sani Garba look me for one last second, face full of confusion.

He look me, but last last, he follow her go.

His footsteps loud for corridor. I just watch his back disappear, my own heart dey drag me backward but my feet stay ground.

Neighbours dey bring nylon bag of groundnut, dey wish us better luck for new place.

That night as we dey chop, Papa talk say e dey reason to quit job start small business.

He clear throat, voice low. The rice for table dey smell of crayfish, and mama serve beans and dodo, the oil still dey hot. Papa no dey rush talk—he dey pick word like person dey pick egusi from chaff.

He softly ask me and Mama how we see am.

"If I start business, life no go stable like now. Our savings no too much, so I go like sell this our house buy one for outskirts. How una see am?"

His eyes dey beg for support, but his back straight. In Kaduna, man wey wan resign from big oga, e dey need courage pass soldier for war. Mama just dey play with her spoon, dey reason him words.

Mama frown:

She shake her head, dey tap table softly. Her wrapper tight for her waist, face squeezed. "Old Musa, abeg forget that thing. Zeezee go soon enter university. After she graduate, we go need prepare things for her marriage. What if… We no young again o."

Her voice soft, like say she dey hide worry. She look me, then Papa. Her mind dey full, but she no wan talk am finish for my face.

Dem sabi me and Sani Garba matter, so all these years—even when people try poach Papa from Garba Holdings—he no gree. Sani Garba na only pikin, so Papa dey try extra for Garba family, e even dey shame to resign.

Everybody for our house dey walk on eggshells because of my matter with Sani Garba. Papa dey use style ask me questions about am. Mama dey pray for me quietly at night.

Papa just purse mouth:

He rub his chin, voice low. The room quiet, only sound of spoon and generator hum for distance. For a moment, nobody talk.

"True talk, then…"

His voice trail off. The air heavy with unspoken things. I just dey reason how my wahala dey affect everybody for house.

I just talk, cut am short:

My voice strong pass before. For my mind, I don decide say I go support papa, no matter wetin. Kaduna girl dey stand with family.

"Papa, I support you. Start your business."

My voice steady, my eyes dey shine. Mama look me like say she dey see new person. For my heart, I dey pray make everything go well.

I trust my papa. He get experience, know people, sabi the work.

I remember how papa dey teach small boys for street carpentry, how people dey come our house beg for advice. I know say he get sense, and God go help us.

All these years, because Grandpa and Grandma dey sick, our money no too plenty. If he bring am up now, e mean say he don think am well.

Mama dey save money for wrapper, dey sell small puff-puff for evening. Papa dey squeeze every naira. I sabi say this decision no easy.

"Do wetin dey your mind."

I look him direct, my words sure. Mama eyes soft, she dey nod slow, tears just dey dance for her eyes. Family na everything for Naija house.

Papa eye just red.

He stand, clear throat, then sit back down. He dey smile, but him eyes wet. For this country, man no dey cry, but sometimes na only tears fit talk the truth.

Mama nod too: "Zeezee don grow. Old Musa, try am."

Mama tap my back, then touch Papa hand. The small comfort wey dey for our house dey sweet me. No matter the wahala, we dey together.

……

As we decide, Mama just call agent. Our house old but e dey for center, and Papa price fair, so e sell fast. The new owner gree make we stay some days more.

Agent come that same week, dey talk fast fast. Neighbours dey ask question, dey help us pack small. The house empty quick, echo full everywhere. My memories dey scatter like corn for ground.

My parents dey find new house for outskirts every day after work.

Dem go market, dey price cement, dey check fence. I dey help Mama mark which area near good school. We dey pray make we find better place before rain start.

Till my birthday reach.

My birthday fall for Friday. Mama come my room early, sing old birthday song wey Grandpa teach us. She dash me small change, say make I buy minerals for new house.

Mama close early, tell me make I carry small birthday cake go Garba family house.

She bring cake from old bakery for main market, the type with plenty pink icing. She no fit bake this year, say make I manage. She smile, push me gently: "Go greet Mama Garba. No matter the wahala, we be family."

I pause small, but as she dey push me, I waka go Sani Garba house.

My leg heavy, but I know say for Naija, you no suppose let old beef block family friendship. I dey rehearse small greeting for my mind, dey pray make I no cry.

She no know say na Sani Garba force me transfer. Na him always talk say na me decide am. Even though she no too like am, when she see transfer paper don ready, she just sigh, no talk again.

Mama believe say na me get my own mind, no know say behind the scene, na Sani Garba dey press all the buttons. For this life, sometimes your own mama no dey see your pain finish.