Chapter 6: Gossip and Proverb

After work, I siddon for deputy general manager office.

That chair no dey comfortable today. I dey sweat under AC. I dey look table, dey wait make him talk.

I don dey this company for seven years, from when we be just few people.

We start for one small office for Surulere, now we don get four branches. My blood, sweat and time dey inside this place.

Every step, I put my own effort.

Promotion, proposal, new clients—all na my hand work. If company win award, na me dey collect.

For my mind, that director seat suppose be my own.

Even my parents don dey plan thanksgiving for church. My siblings dey plan party. Everybody believe say na my time.

Deputy GM rub him head, look me with pity.

I see say e no wan talk wetin dey his mind. He dey dodge my eye. Him sigh dey heavy.

“I know say you dey important for this company, but you self know…”

I hear 'but' and my heart sink. I dey wait the real gist.

He pause, then gather courage.

His mouth dey twist, like say he dey swallow bitter leaf.

“You hear say Adeyemi Tech just give us one big contract—enough to save us five years wahala.”

As he talk am, I see say my fate don hang. Tobi people na the ones dey run the contract. E pain me reach bone.

“Amara, sometimes you no fit fight who pass you. You understand, abi?”

Na code, but I hear am well. If you no get power, you go chop sand. I just nod, my face strong.

I drop my eyes.

I no wan cry in front of am. I just pack my bag, try compose myself. Na so life be.

So na so e be.

I whisper for my mind, 'Amara, you go survive.'

But my hand wey dey for my lap no gree stop to shake.

I try hold myself, but e no work. My chest dey hot, eyes dey red.

I know say deputy GM self dey inside wahala.

If he no play politics, company fit crash. Everybody dey struggle for survival, no space for sentiment.

To make sure I no disgrace myself for him office, I just nod, waka comot.

I lift head high, tell myself say I go smile till I reach outside. I no wan give dem gossip material.

E don pass closing time; colleagues dey go house small small.

People dey whisper, dey glance my way. Some dey pity me, others dey smile for corner.

I lock myself inside toilet, tears no gree stop.

I hug myself, sit for WC cover, tears dey flow like tap. My chest dey heave. I pray say make person no knock door.

If na only the breakup with Tobi, I for still hold face small,

but as Halima use Tobi power take collect the director seat, e finish me.

Double wahala. Heartbreak join office disgrace. I just dey shake head, dey blame myself.

He know how long I don hustle for this thing.

Na me show am the way, na me train am. See as she use my own kindness against me.

I no sleep well for one month.

Insomnia don turn me to zombie. I dey drink coffee pass water. My friends dey worry for me.

Last last, na Tobi stab me for back.

Even Judas no try this kind. I dey wonder, na wetin I do wey bad reach this?

“You think say Manager Amara go show for Director Halima dinner tonight?”

I hear voice for corridor. My ear sharp now.

“Who know? If she show, drama go full ground.”

Dem dey laugh, dey whisper. I dey clench fist, dey swallow tears.

“Ehn, na true o.”

Dem dey count my misfortune like football score.

“Wetin dey there to pity? That time she be oga babe, company dey treat her well. Now dem don tire for her, director seat go another person.”

Dem forget say na my sweat build the company. E pain me say nobody remember.

Two people dey gossip as dem dey wash hand outside.

I peep from keyhole, see dem dey share meat pie, dey clean teeth.

“Ehn? Dem tire for her?”

One dey shake head, like say my fall na normal thing.

“You never hear? Director Halima talk say oga complain say to hold her hand be like left hand hold right hand.”

I hear am, my heart break again. All my secrets, dem don leak am for street.

“To sleep with her even worse than to do am by himself? Hahahaha…”

Their laughter loud, echo for toilet wall. I dey boil, tears no gree stop.

I just dey listen, dey remember Igbo proverb: 'Dem say, if snake bite you once, even lizard go make you jump.'

With one bang, I open the stall door.

The sound scare dem. Dem drop pie, dey tremble. I wipe eye, face them squarely.

The two turn, face white like paper.

Their mouth dey open, dem no fit talk. I look dem, dey size dem up.

“Ma—Manager Amara…”

Their voice dey shake. I no even get time for their apology.