Chapter 4: Wahala Full Ground

“E no too much? From wetin I know, university students dey spend less than one thousand for food every month. And dem dey chop pass primary school children.”

Okoli dey compare, dey shake head like say e sure pass calculator.

“Mr. Auwalu na businessman. I no say make you no make money, but make e get limit.” Some people dey sigh, others dey nod.

“I don calculate am: Wensi School get 3,200 students. At eight hundred naira per person per month, na almost 2.6 million.” Some dey open mouth. Big number dey always shake crowd.

“For just one school canteen—how food go cost like that? Na prawns and turkey dey inside? I no see any.” E dey look plate, dey search for gold.

Okoli look me with confidence, like say he catch me red-handed. If you see the way e dey shine teeth, e go be like person wey win jackpot.

I just weak. For my mind, I dey think, "Na so dem dey reason this matter?" This Okoli sef, e dey craze? Some people for my area go say, "This man head dey touch."

The school dey charge eight hundred per month for food—na me set the price. Over two million per month sound big, but na so e be? If I dey collect that kind money finish, I for buy car last year. Dem no know wetin dey ground.

Wensi School na private. Above principal, board of directors dey. Just for food, board dey collect 20% contract fee every month. Light and water plus repair dey chop 5%, staff salary na 10%. Over 300 staff dey chop free, and that money still dey come from food fee—another 5% don go.

I fit show receipt, dem go shock. Generator fuel alone dey chop money. Sometimes, NEPA go cut light, we go run gen till morning.

So the canteen fit use only 60% of the money to provide three meals a day for 3,500 people for the school.

Sometimes, pikin go ask for extra food. Na so I dey balance everything.

If you break am down, na less than fifteen naira per person per day. Share am by three meals, na less than five naira per meal. Even pure water don pass that one for market.

Five naira, for three meat, two veg, and soup—wetin else you want? Every plate balanced—no senior pikin, no junior, everybody dey chop like Sunday for village.

If dem fit try am, make dem do. Na only when person dey inside kitchen e go understand heat.

For Okoli, even five naira too much. And e dey compare am to university—how many university students dey chop all their food for canteen? Why you no count all the money for mama put and restaurant? You fit see this kind food for university canteen?

University student dey survive on Indomie and coke. Here, we dey serve pikin real food.

Na just talk. E dey find clout, na so e dey.

I vex, but I no wan argue. Make I no spoil my own name. Sometimes, silence dey talk pass shouting.

“Mr. Okoli, for your mind, how much you think food suppose cost?” After I reason small, I ask the main question. I wan hear wetin e get for head. Na so e go expose imself.

Since Okoli dey make noise about price, him plan na to reduce am. Some people dey whisper, "E go fit do am?"

"Na your mind go judge you, no be me," Okoli just shrug, talk anyhow. Everybody dey look am, some dey cover laugh.

I nearly laugh. Wetin be that? For my mind, I dey say, "Conscience no dey cook soup." But I hold myself.

Conscience? Na conscience dey price yam for market? E no work like that for here.

For Palm Grove Estate, I no sure say you go see contractor wey get more conscience pass me. People for area dey hail me. Even mosque committee dey patronize me.

“Mr. Okoli, if na so, I no fit answer. The canteen get cost…” I smile, wan explain, but he cut me off.

Okoli dey impatient. E dey rush to win argument. “Una dey hear am? The first thing wey he talk na ‘cost’. Who no get cost?” Na so e dey try ginger crowd.

“See as e dey do, na only him dey chop belleful for this Lagos!” Voice dey rise. I dey try hold my face.

“Mr. Auwalu, you dey make money from students—no dey shame you?” Some parents dey sigh, others dey form angry.

“All of us here na parents. You know how e hard reach to send pikin go school? How you go dey so shameless?” Some dey nod. One mama dey wipe face with handkerchief, dey talk "E no easy o."

“If na me run this canteen, I go reduce cost by at least 50%!" Okoli just dey attack me up and down. Na like person wey get mission. Some people dey look me, dey wait my answer.

E dey play pity card, dey find people sympathy, wan tie me down with morality. Some dey try support am, dey clap hand softly.

Many parents dey nod head. If dem fit pay less or nothing for their pikin food, dem go happy. Na Naija way be that. Everybody dey find awoof.

Okoli words get wahala. I sure say I never jam am before, so e get another reason why e dey target me. For my mind, I dey reason, maybe na contract e dey eye.

That last talk show am small. E expose himself, people dey suspect.

“Mr. Okoli, you mean say you fit reduce canteen cost?” Principal Tunde ask, interest dey show for him face. E wan see whether Okoli fit do magic. I shock, e be like say I dey see am for the first time. Na Principal sef dey reason am. Maybe e dey think of saving money too.

“Of course. I dey inside food business, I sabi everything.” E talk with big voice, like person wey just win election.

“No be to brag, but for this school, with the food standard wey una get now, I fit cut cost by at least 50%.” E dey form champion. Some people dey clap hand.

Okoli talk with boldness. E mean say I dey make at least 50% profit on cost. Some people dey look me with side eye now. Na so Naija be.

Principal Tunde just dey look him cup, dey think. You fit see say e dey calculate for head. E dey wonder if Okoli fit do am.

E no hard to understand: if you cut cost, students go pay less. But for school, e mean extra money. Contract fee no go drop. The extra na profit for school. Some teachers dey happy. Dem dey think of extra salary for December.

“Mr. Auwalu, you agree?” Okoli throw the matter back to me. Everybody dey look me. My mind just dey blank small.

“I no agree.” I just laugh small, no talk too much. I dey try control myself. If I talk too much, dem go say I dey vex.

Cost no be only ingredient price. Everything dey count. But Okoli no dey talk true. I no know if e no sabi or e dey pretend. He just dey chase clout. For Lagos, no be mouth dey run business.

“From wetin I hear, Mr. Auwalu come Palm Grove Estate ten years ago, start from school canteen.” One man for corner dey support Okoli, dey yarn am for crowd.

“In these ten years, your business don grow, you don make plenty money.” Dem dey form say I dey use school take hammer.

“People dey talk say Mr. Auwalu start from canteen—over two million every month, nearly thirty million every year. Hmm.” E dey count my money for my pocket. Some people dey laugh.

Okoli talk with envy. I just dey shake head. Na so e be for Naija—if you get small, dem go jealous. So na competition bring am come. For my mind, e don clear. Na contract e dey eye.

No wonder e dey drag the canteen and dey face me. E dey try use moral talk run me down, so dem go pity am. Na jealousy, e think say I don hammer from here. Na him wahala. Life no dey balance.

True true, people matter no dey pass those six words: ‘envy the rich, laugh at the poor.’ Na so one elder for mosque talk last month. I just dey remember now.

“Na so the school canteen dey bring money? I no even reason am before. But if we dey pay eight hundred per month, na plenty money be that.” Some people dey whisper. Dem dey calculate for head.

“Making money from students easy. School get only one canteen. If you no chop, you go hungry.” Dem dey reason monopoly. For Lagos, if you no get option, you must buy wetin dey.

“Na true. Na just house food. How much e cost to buy? The rest na pure profit.” One man dey talk for back. I dey hear am clear.

Some people dey adjust chair, dey check their phone. Everybody dey wait who go win this matter. Parents begin whisper. The room dey buzz like generator. I just dey watch.

Dem don buy Okoli story, dey think say I dey use canteen take chop big money. I dey hear "Auwalu" for back. Some dey use me do calculation.

“Principal Tunde, if the profit dey high like this, no be make una reduce the food money?” One parent no fit wait, ask Principal Tunde. Everybody dey look Principal now, dey wait answer.

“This…” E pause, dey think. E dey sweat small.

“Mr. Auwalu, as the person wey dey run canteen, how much you fit reduce am?” E turn to me, voice low. Some people dey watch me steady. Principal Tunde hesitate, then face me.

I dey feel pressure. Na like make I confess for altar.

“Principal Tunde, I no fit reduce am.” I shake head, force smile, my mind just weak. If I try reduce am, e mean say I go dey run loss. E no possible.

“Mr. Auwalu, we be friends. No good make you dey collect big profit from your people. If you reduce small, everybody go happy.” E dey try appeal to my heart. Na so e dey do.

“We don work together for years. I go like make we continue.” Na true, but business get as e be. Friendship no dey buy oil.

Principal Tunde tap table, dey give me signal. E dey try warn me. For Naija, signal dey everywhere. Either reduce price, or leave am for another person. E dey talk coded, but I don hear.

For ten years, na me dey run this canteen. You no know my cost and profit? Even my pikin dey school here. I dey try balance am.

“Principal Tunde, you mean say I must reduce price?” I ask one last time, wan sure. I look am for eye. E look away. I understand.

“Mr. Auwalu, Mr. Okoli don talk finish. Unless your price pass him own, I no fit explain to parents. Na dem dey pay.” E drop am like say na law. Some people dey clap. “Unless you fit convince dem.”

If you sabi talk, maybe you fit turn table. Principal Tunde just spread hand, look helpless. Na so dem dey do for meeting. If wahala too much, e go act like e no get power.

“Mr. Auwalu, the canteen na school own. Principal Tunde dey in charge.” Okoli dey use big grammar now. E dey form champion. “Why you dey fear? Na because you no wan leave the money wey you dey collect from students?” E dey provoke crowd, make dem turn against me.

“I almost forget, Mr. Auwalu na businessman. Businessman dey find profit anyhow.” E dey talk like say I be Aliko Dangote. “If na me run the canteen, I go put students first.” Na so e dey form saint. For Naija, everybody be angel till dem enter office.

As Principal Tunde talk, Okoli just dey proud, dey use me do stepping stone. E dey smile. E think say e don win contract already.

“If price fit reduce, na better thing. E go help us parents.” One mama dey fan herself, dey nod head.

“True talk, make we see how much e go drop.” Everybody dey expect awoof. Eye dey shine. “Anything, even if na small.” Dem dey beg make e drop. Na so Naija be.

Some dey whisper, dey laugh for corner. I just bone face—dey form like say e no concern me. Parents begin whisper again. E be like market place. Everybody dey ready for new gist.

“Okay, e don do.” I take deep breath, talk loud. “If na so, make Mr. Okoli run the canteen.” Na so I throw the matter. Everybody shock.

“From today, I commot hand.” I stand up, pack my file. My mind calm. E don do for me. If e fit do, make e do. If e fall hand, dem go know the difference.

As Okoli still dey try talk, I stand up, talk am straight. I no look back. Sometimes for life, na to drop broom for person hand, make e sweep. E go know say sand dey plenty. E think say e easy—make e try, e go sabi say for Naija, sand no dey finish.

As I waka comot the meeting room, breeze touch my face. Outside, market women dey gossip near the school gate. "See our canteen oga, e don commot o!" One small boy run come hug my leg, shout, "Uncle Auwalu!" I smile. Na here my real value dey.