My Cat Wants Me Dead / Chapter 1: Chachi’s Warnings and a Chilling Discovery
My Cat Wants Me Dead

My Cat Wants Me Dead

Author: Pooja Singh


Chapter 1: Chachi’s Warnings and a Chilling Discovery

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Everyone in my family swears cats aren't affectionate—especially when my chachi gets going at chai time.

Every time there’s a family gathering, my mother’s side of the clan repeats the same thing, as if it’s some ancient truth. My chachi, never missing a beat, will say over her cup of chai, “Beta, kutte toh wafadar hote hain, par billi? Arre, uske dil mein kya hai, koi nahi jaanta.”

But tell me, did you ever imagine your own cat is secretly plotting your downfall?

Sometimes, I really think these aunties are onto something. Especially when my cat gives me those sly looks, like it’s hatching a plan. Maybe that’s what they mean by ‘shani ka prabhav’ in cats—who knows, yaar?

The moment that changed everything happened one lazy afternoon at my LIC office, when boredom had me scrolling through my home surveillance camera on my phone.

The pedestal fan was rattling overhead, making the old files flutter, while someone reheated yesterday’s sambhar in the pantry. The air was thick with the scent of filter coffee, and I, half-asleep after lunch, was thumbing through WhatsApp forwards when I thought, chalo, let’s see if that rascal has knocked over my money plant again.

On the screen, I watched my cat leap onto the cabinet, locate a box of drawing pins, and—without hesitation—slide one under my pillow. Then, with surgical precision, it pulled the pillowcase back to cover its tracks.

My eyes widened. If CID’s ACP Pradyuman saw this, even he’d be left scratching his head. Who hides a drawing pin so perfectly?

Just then, the cat turned and noticed the red light of the camera.

Its tail gave a sharp flick, ears perked up. For a split second, it stared right through the camera, challenging me—like, 'Haan, dekh le, kya karega?'

Then, it suddenly pretended to play, and with a casual paw, nudged the pin onto the floor…

As if nothing had happened! With a single swipe, it sent the pin skittering under the bed, then started chasing its own tail, all innocent. Wah, what an acting ka baap, yaar.

My finger hovered over the screen, not sure whether to laugh or call for backup.

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