Chapter 5: Lines Crossed

The classmates all knew about my past with Derek. But they also knew I was married, so they tacitly avoided bringing up old times. A classmate who didn’t know the whole story noticed the bracelet on Derek’s wrist and teased, “Derek, you’re doing so well now, why are you still wearing that bracelet?”

The hum of conversation died down for a moment, all eyes swiveling to Derek’s wrist and then to me. I shifted in my seat, suddenly wishing I’d skipped the reunion altogether.

The room fell silent for a moment. Everyone’s eyes lingered on me and Derek.

The AC kicked on, the only sound breaking the tension.

“Someone important gave it to me. It’s priceless.”

Derek’s voice was steady, but his gaze flickered to mine, holding just a little too long. The words hung in the air, heavier than the cheap red beads deserved.

The classmate understood. “Then you should cherish it.”

He raised his glass, as if to toast to old memories, and the conversation slowly started up again, the awkwardness dissipating with the next round of drinks.

Derek rubbed the red bead on the bracelet, his gaze drifting to me, intentionally or not.

I busied myself with my water glass, tracing a droplet down its side, pretending not to notice. But my stomach twisted with something between nostalgia and regret.

Halfway through, I left the room to use the bathroom. When I came out, I saw Derek. He was standing there with his hands in his pockets, the top button of his collar undone. “Long time no see.”

The hallway was dim and quiet, the only sound the distant laughter from the dining room. Derek leaned against the wall, looking older but still carrying that same boyish energy.

I glanced at the sink. “This isn’t a good place to catch up.”

The fluorescent lights flickered overhead, making the tiles look even more sterile. I kept my arms folded, defensive.

“Then let’s go somewhere else.”

He grinned, trying to inject some levity into the moment, but it didn’t quite land.

“We’re not the kind of people who should catch up.”

I kept my voice even, meeting his eyes squarely. There was no room for nostalgia.

Derek wasn’t surprised by my answer. “Natalie, you haven’t changed. When we broke up, you were just as calm and straightforward. Just like your little childhood friend.”

He gave a small, rueful smile, like he admired and resented me in equal measure.

My relationship with Derek ended the summer before senior year. There wasn’t any special reason, just that Derek, under his family’s arrangements, chose to study abroad. When I suggested breaking up, Derek was incredulous.

I remembered standing in my driveway, the air thick with cicadas, as Derek tried to argue his way out of a breakup I’d already decided on.

“I’m not going to stay abroad forever. After I finish school, I’ll come back. Why do we have to break up?”

His suitcase sat at his feet, the airport shuttle idling at the curb. He looked desperate, clinging to hope I didn’t share.

“The future is too unpredictable. I don’t like that.”

I picked at the hem of my shorts, staring at my sneakers. Uncertainty made me uneasy; I hated not knowing how things would end.

He frowned, unwilling. “Our relationship is so good, we could face the uncertainty of the future together. Natalie, why won’t you sacrifice for me?”

His voice cracked, frustration bubbling beneath the surface. The neighbors’ porch light flickered on, catching us in its yellow glow.

I asked calmly, “Why don’t you sacrifice for me?”

The words hung in the air, quiet but unyielding. Derek looked away, chewing his lip.

Derek was speechless. We both chose our own paths, went our separate ways, and never met again.

The memory stung, even years later, but I squared my shoulders and pushed it aside.

“You married Caleb, didn’t you?”

Derek followed behind me. I nodded.

His footsteps echoed down the hallway, our shadows stretching across the linoleum.

“Why? Didn’t you not like him in high school? You even thanked me for helping clear things up.”

His questions came fast, tinged with disbelief and maybe a hint of jealousy.

“I don’t mind him.”

My answer was simple, maybe too simple, but it was all I had.

Derek seemed unwilling to accept it. He stared at me, eyes intense. “But Caleb is so silent and withdrawn, he’s not suitable for you. He’s cold, and so are you. How can you be husband and wife?”

His words stung, but I kept my chin up, refusing to let him see how much it bothered me.

I stopped walking.

Footsteps echoed from behind, and I turned.

It was Caleb. He was standing at the end of the hallway, leaning against the wall, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing his forearms—neat and clean. His gaze lingered on Derek for a moment, his eyes growing darker. Caleb walked over and put his arm around my shoulder, speaking gently, “Suitable or not, we’re already husband and wife. Derek, long time no see.”

Caleb’s touch was steady, his presence a silent claim. I leaned into him, letting his warmth settle over me. Derek’s mouth pressed into a hard line, his hands tightening in his pockets.

Derek narrowed his eyes, not bothering to hide his displeasure.

The hallway felt suddenly smaller, the tension thick enough to choke on. I tried to steady my breathing, wishing I could slip away unnoticed.