Chapter 3: The Apartment and the Past

3

After changing the monitor, it worked fine.

On Ethan and Lauren’s side, after a few rounds of icebreaker games, their heart rates exceeded 70, and they left the room early.

As for us.

Ryan’s heart rate stayed at 25. Pathetically low.

“If it never goes over,” I asked the staff, “do we have to spend the night in the room?”

Ryan heard this. He stood straight with broad shoulders, wearing a thin black hoodie, his eyes unfocused and indifferent.

The staff said, “It counts as a failed mission. You can come out after an hour.”

Ryan and I were the last to come out.

[So lame.]

[They don’t have a shred of chemistry.]

[Take them away, can I not watch her? I only want to see Lauren and Ethan.]

The comments were bleak until the livestream ended.

Post-show interviews in a few rooms. Cameras, lights, crowded with people.

Ethan stood in the corner, watching Lauren being interviewed, his gaze unintentionally sweeping over me.

“Excited?”

He asked me for no reason.

“Was there a moment you thought Ryan might like you?”

I ignored him and tried to leave.

But was blocked.

“What to do, Natalie,” he put his hands in his pockets, tilting his head at me, “I feel more and more that divorcing you was the right choice.”

Someone passed by, and Ethan straightened up. Still that gentle, affectionate, yet broken look. As if I was the one who hurt him most.

Lauren finished her interview, and under everyone’s gaze, walked up to me and grabbed my hand.

“Natalie,” she had an old red string tied on her wrist, “Hold on to Ethan. He’s a good guy, Nat. Don’t screw it up.”

That red string. I’d seen it before.

Last year on our anniversary, Ethan was followed by a stalker fan and got into a minor car accident. He was fine. I took him to church to pray for blessings, closed my eyes and wished only for his safety.

When I opened my eyes, I saw he had bought another red string bracelet. I thought he was going to give it to me. But he said it was for his own peace of mind.

Now, it was on Lauren’s wrist.

“Don’t make trouble,” Lauren continued in front of the camera, “I hope you two will be well more than anyone.”

I didn’t say a word.

Ethan didn’t know. Lauren didn’t know either.

Actually, I agreed to join this reality show for another subtle, unspoken reason.

That day when I closed my eyes, Ethan wasn’t in my heart either.