Chapter 4: Chop Money and Small Beginnings

I get girlfriend, but na only Ngozi know. She no talk, I no talk.

For campus, we dey keep am coded. People fit see us together, but no one suspect anything. I go always dey her shadow.

Sometimes, she go just send me chop money with note: come chop, then address.

Sometimes, the message go short—no emoji. Other times, she go add: "Try dey come early."

I go. The babe get mind—not just chop money, but free food too.

I go bath twice, rub cream, dress well. If I reach, I dey greet Mama Kemi for counter first, then go meet Ngozi.

Sometimes na only two of us—she go book private spot at Mama Kemi’s bukka, dey chop slow like madam wey she be.

She go dey cut meat small small, sip zobo with straw. I go dey look her, dey laugh for mind. Sometimes, she go gist me about class wahala, sometimes about her dog for house.

She no dey like make I chop fast. If I swallow two, three mouthfuls, she go raise eyebrow: "Why you dey rush? Drink soup first."

Her eye go wide, mouth go twist. Na so I go pause, laugh, then sip soup like small pikin.

I go sip pepper soup, look her, see say she happy, then continue.

Her laugh dey ring for my ear. She go drop hand for table, dey watch me. If I try rush again, she go use fork tap my hand. "Calm down, enjoy."

If people full, I go just keep quiet, dey chop gently for one corner.

Na my own style. If wahala dey, make e pass me.

If person talk to me, I go look up, smile, answer, if not, I go just dey my lane.

No be pride—na survival. If you talk too much, dem fit drag you enter wahala. Better make you play your role.

One person talk once, "How guy go dey quiet like this? Relax na." I just smile, nod, continue my food.

E pain me small, but na life. Me, I no dey like make person too notice me.

As for why I no dey talk—I no fit explain. If you grow up orphan, you go even quiet pass me, no go like wahala.

I dey carry my cross jeje. Some people go say I dey shy, but na lie. Street teach me say, talk less, see more.

I fit decide not to hustle, but I no fit afford mistake. I no fit take risk, even with my mouth. Maybe wetin I talk dey right, but if that group wan find trouble nko? Better make I just lock up.

For Lagos, who talk too much dey buy market. I dey mind my business, no dey collect free trouble.

I just dey follow Ngozi everywhere. Later, for my birthday, she say make we celebrate, I go.

I dress in my best shirt, iron am well, even buy small perfume for road. Na so I enter her family yacht for river—breeze fresh die.

Her family yacht dey river, breeze dey blow well, I help her paint her nails.

She bring out polish, stretch leg give me. As I dey paint, she dey laugh, dey gist. Na first time I dey see rich person dey chill like that.

She curl for sofa, dey relax, "If you get birthday wish, talk am."

She dey look me with soft eye. Sun dey shine her face. For that moment, my mind blank.

I pause, then just talk, "I want apartment."

My voice low, but I talk am. I dey reason say, if I no try, I no go get.

Ngozi raise eyebrow: "Apartment? No wahala, in some days."

She still dey play with her phone.

She no even blink. She just type something, cross leg, continue dey gist. E shock me.

Ngozi just promise anyhow, e shock me.

That kind rich people promise—like say na water dem dey give.

I just cut cake, sit near her, dey chop. Sunset for pier fine, cake sweet, and I just look her, breeze from river dey slap my face, mind calm.

I dey think say, if life dey always soft like this, person go forget say he suffer before.

Suddenly, I no want apartment again. I fit hustle buy am later. That moment, I really wan kiss her.

My body dey ginger, but I lock up. I dey fear make I no pass my boundary.

I like her—right then.

Na true. No be just money. E get how she dey smile, dey talk, dey do like pikin sometimes.

But I no talk, no move. She still dey her phone, then one voice note enter.

Her mood change. Her face tight. She no even look my side again.

I no hear wetin dem talk, but she frown: "I get something to do, I go first. You go back by yourself."

Na so she waka, leave me with my half cake. E pain me, but wetin I go do?

Night don reach before I rent keke go back hostel. When I reach, I see say that day, school fine boy Tobi get low sugar, dem rush am hospital.

Everybody for hostel dey talk. I even hear say e faint for lecture hall, dem pour coke for him head before dem carry am.

I go see my roommate phone—he show me hospital picture, Ngozi dey stand near Tobi.

My chest tight. I just look the picture, hand the phone back.

My roommate tap my shoulder. "Them fit each other pass. Abeg, no dey do footmat. Find better person while you still dey school."

I just nod. For my mind, I dey reason if na true. But who I go even call my own?

I no talk. I just dey think about my unfinished cake, that promise, that afternoon. After small time, I yawn, carry phone, go sleep.

For dream, I see myself dey waka alone for long road, breeze dey blow, no one beside me.