Chapter 2: Battle for Passenger Seat

Chika dey look me, small guilt dey her face.

"Seyi, you vex?"

She talk am gentle, voice low. For Yoruba house, if person ask you that kind thing, e mean say dem really dey worry about your mind.

I just quiet for small time, then give her the box back.

"Hold am. No lose am when una need am."

I hold her hand as I talk am, make she know say na her I dey talk to, not the bullet comments wey dey fly for my head. For here, eye contact na the real talk.

She panic. "How I go use this thing with another person?"

"Na just game, na punishment for who lose."

"Seyi, abeg believe me."

She dey nearly cry. Her mouth dey tremble, hand dey shake small. You know say person mean am when e dey beg for Naija — pride no dey gree us beg except say wahala pass body.

[I no fit! Female lead, abeg open your eyes! Why you dey beg? Your true love dey wait for you!]

[No dey waste time dey beg second male lead. Just give main guy small sign, him fit even give you him life. This girl sef, turn back!]

Bullet comments dey cry everywhere.

For my mind, the comments dey sound like those old women wey dey their verandah dey judge everybody wey pass. E fit pain person if you no get thick skin.

As expected, na me be the so-called wicked second male lead, Chika na female lead, and everybody just dey wait make I commot so their OTP fit jam.

I just laugh for mind.

But I just siddon quietly for sofa.

I let the silence breathe. For Naija, sometimes silence talk pass words.

One stick of cigarette after another.

The air thick with smoke, like buka in the morning. I puff slow, make e clear my head. Cigarette no solve anything but e fit give man small break from wahala.

"You dey carry this kind private thing up and down. E no reach your mind say if I see am e go pain me?"

I talk am calm, but my eye still dey fire. For here, if you vex but you talk soft, e mean say the thing pain you well well.

Chika freeze.

She rush come hug me, her face show say e pain her. "Na my fault this time, I no think about your feelings, Seyi, abeg, I sorry, next time I go try…"

She hold me tight, her head for my chest. I feel the shiver for her body. If person dey apologise for public, na serious matter.

She beg me tire.

Then she say make she go buy movie ticket make up for am.

Bullet comments just dey rush out.

[Go, female lead! You go just jam main guy wey also wan see King of Boys 2.]

[The last two tickets, na main guy go dash female lead, she go feel guilty and remember as e treat am well~]

[Na only main guy dey give Chika beta thing.]

The gist just dey flow, everybody dey yarn their own for background, like Lagos danfo drivers for Obalende.

Suddenly, I hold her hand.

Chika turn look me. "Wetin happen, Seyi?"

My grip firm, my palm warm. For Naija, when you hold person hand like this, na assurance.

"I go follow you."

No time for story. If wahala dey, na together we go solve am.

Chika blink, small blush catch her.

Her cheek just red, eye dey shine. Na Naija babe wey dey shy be this. She wan hide am, but smile still show.

"Okay, make we go together. Make we buy ticket today, watch am together~"

Her voice soft, but you go hear excitement for am. Na so love dey sweet when e dey fresh.

As expected, bullet comments start to curse me again.

I just close eye.

No need to dey read that kind nonsense again.

I lock my mind, no dey hear all the external talk. For here, if you wan get peace, you go block people mouth and focus your own.

For Chika matter, I no fit talk say I love her die, or say I no fit leave her.

But I stubborn well well.

For Naija, stubbornness dey save man pride sometimes. If you no gree fight for wetin be your own, people go carry am like say you no dey serious.

Person wey I no like dey play corner-corner for my babe side, dey draw body close, dey try suffocate me.

Na my babe be the trophy, and me dey almost choke.

If you go local party for here, you go know say dem dey always dey drag babe like na rice for wedding. E dey pain if another man dey use style collect your shine.

How this kind fight no go make person body hot?

E dey burn inside body like ogogoro for empty belle.

Sixth floor for mall.

The movie na big one. Everywhere full, all the seats don sell finish.

E resemble Ikeja City Mall for public holiday. Children dey run upandan, popcorn smell full everywhere, but some people still dey chop gala and La Casera. People dey snap selfie, dey make noise.

Line for counter long no be small. Omo, the queue long pass JAMB registration line.

As expected, na so Goke dey line, dey hold fresh juice.

E dey do like say na him own the place, head dey high. You know all those guys wey sabi get confidence, e show for body.

As he see Chika, him eye just light up.

The way him smile long, you go think say he win lotto. E quick rush greet like person wey wan collect urgent 2k.

"Ah ah, see coincidence, see as we jam for here."

His voice loud, so that people around go hear am. Na typical Naija boy swag.

Goke wan put hand for her neck as usual.

Then him hand enter her coat pocket.

He dey poke like say na him get right. For Naija, this kain closeness dey cause quarrel if boyfriend dey around.

"You still dey hold that thing for pocket? You talk say 24 hours, no add or minus."

Him hand don reach half way in.

But as he see me, he come pause. "Oh, your boyfriend dey here too."

He slow down, e eye dey watch me. E know say he no suppose overstep.

He pull hand back, dey do like say him don gentle.

"Brother-in-law, I no dey disturb Chika o. No vex."

He call me brother-in-law, na that fake respect wey Lagos boys dey use when dem dey fear wahala.

[Abeg, why main guy dey apologize? Na him and female lead know each other first. Seyi na latecomer, na third wheel, abi?]

[When female lead go realise say Goke beta pass second male lead?]

[No worry, turning point dey come.]

E be like say all the internet dey wait make drama blow. For Naija, if person call you brother-in-law too much, just know say dem dey mock you small.

I dey think my own.

No even get time to answer Goke wahala.

I bone face, just dey focus on ticket matter. I no go let small boy use me do play for crowd.

Line move small.

Goke buy the last two tickets.

Omo, luck just shine for am like person wey dem dash free suya for party.

When e reach our turn, the cashier just smile, shake head.

"Sorry, today own don finish. No seat remain."

She talk am with that customer service smile, but e dey pain reach bone.

Na that time, Goke dey hold last two tickets.

Chika look am, then look the ticket for him hand.

Her face change, eyebrow just raise. She dey try keep cool but e dey pepper her.

"Abeg, you know say I don wait five years for this part two. No even try collect my seat."

Her voice get small edge. If babe talk to you like that, just know say she dey fight for her happiness.

As we no get ticket, Chika look me, her face dey sorry. "How we go do… I fit come back tomorrow or we fit go another cinema, but e no go sweet like this one…"

She dey bite lip. For Naija, if babe dey talk like this, she wan make you solve her problem.

Before she talk finish,

Goke dash her the tickets, him face like person wey pain am.

He try act gentle, but e pain dey show for im face. E resemble small pikin wey dem collect toy from.

"Okay, papa go give you the best."

He press him lips, talk for low voice so only Chika hear.

"To dey waka everywhere go tire you, Chika…"

He lower head, do like say e vex, grab her neck. "You no go thank your papa?"

The way e talk, na old school banter, but if boyfriend dey, e fit look disrespectful.

Before she fit collect ticket,

I pull Chika go one side, my voice just flat. "I no even get interest for this movie again. That fox movie no dey show same time? Make we go watch that one."

I drag her gentle but firm. My tone cold, but I no wan cause scene.

Chika turn quick.

"Eh? But I hear say that movie…"

She look my eye.

After small silence,

She go counter. "Abeg, two ticket for the fox movie."

Her voice dey low, but steady. She dey follow my lead, na trust be that.

I no look back.

But I hear person behind me throw juice for dustbin with force.

The sound loud, e echo for my ear like final whistle for football match.

He no wan give up at all.

He still follow us reach outside after the movie.

Omo, this kain persistence dey make person suspect say e get agenda. E no gree go, just dey linger like mosquito for ear.

For parking lot, na Goke first open passenger door, jump inside.

He do am sharp, like say na him right. Lagos boys sabi do fast move if dem wan claim space.

He buckle seatbelt, turn look back, dey form surprise.

"Why you never enter?"

E act like say e no know why I dey stand for outside.

"Oh, I forget say you still dey here, brother-in-law."

He purse lips, dey do like say e dey shame. "Before before, na me and Chika dey sit for passenger seat. I don used to am. Seyi, no vex…"

He dey whine me, dey rub am for my face.

Every word na apology.

Like say na me dey petty, dey force Chika make she leave her friend.

The energy for car just tense, like NEPA wire wey touch water.

Chika just dey look both of us, worry dey her face.

She dey squeeze her fingers, dey breathe fast. E no easy to dey between two men wey dey drag for attention.

"Seyi… make we first drop Goke for him place? E no far. After that you fit come back front."

Her tone soft, she dey beg make peace reign. For here, if woman dey beg like this, e mean say wahala pass her.

Goke don already start car, on music, Burna Boy dey blast small small, dey nod head to the beat.

He dey behave like say na him get the ride, dey show power. Naija boys sabi do that one, especially if babe dey watch.

[This puppy main guy too cute! Why female lead still dey follow petty second male lead? Make she just break up.]

[No be second male lead just dey stand? Before him come, na main guy and female lead dey front. Wetin make boyfriend special sef?]

[True talk, second male lead just dey look, maybe dey plan fight.]

[Abeg, na only me think say passenger seat suppose be for boyfriend/girlfriend? At least make dem no do pass their boundary for front of real boyfriend.]

[Who else don experience this kind thing?]

The bullet comments just dey vibrate like Owerri market for festive period. Everybody get opinion for matter wey no concern dem.

For bullet comments, the only person wey support me, their voice no loud reach others.

For their mind, na normal thing for friendship make Goke, as main guy, dey cross any boundary.

But me, the second male lead,

As Chika boyfriend, dem expect make I just shift make their love story complete.

Just like say I be prop for their romance.

Me I no fit gree that kind thing.

For Naija, you no dey allow another man just dey rub shoulder with your babe anyhow. Dem go call you mumu if you no stand your ground.

I look Goke, sigh small.

"If you wan carry am go house, no wahala. Me… I go trek go my side."

I throway the words calm, but e heavy. For my mind, na small warning.

Gbam.

Bullet comments scatter.

Insult just dey fly everywhere.

I no fit block am, so I just close eye.

Sometimes, silence better pass to reply every insult. For here, if you answer everybody, you go tire.

"I no even know say na only Goke dey sit for passenger seat. If I know… I for no even get carsick…"

Chika panic quick.

Her eye wide, she dey shake head, dey stretch hand like say she wan pull me back. For Naija, woman wey care go fight tooth and nail for peace.

Goke look me like say e shock am.

He open mouth, eye big. The air for car thick, like say rain wan fall.

"If you no want make I dey, talk am straight. Why you dey do like small pikin wey dem beat?"

Him voice rise small, pride dey show. For street, na fight talk be this.

Chika face change. "Goke, wetin be this your talk?"

She frown, eyebrow fold. For her side, this one don pass play.

As I expect, Goke face don dark.

"Him dey pretend. Who dey carsick reach say dem no fit sit for back seat? Chika, na me you go believe or am?"

E dey do like say na joke, but pain dey body. Jealousy dey sweet and bitter at the same time.

Chika pause.

I just hold her hand.

My grip warm, my thumb rub her skin. Assurance dey important.

"You fit go drop Goke first, no… no fight because of me."

My voice just dey low.

For Naija, man wey dey soft for voice but firm for action, dem dey respect am.

"I dey see am, Goke… like you…"

Na like say I pour petrol for fire.

As I drop those words, everywhere still. For car, e be like say generator off. Everybody dey hold breath.

No be only Chika face change,

Bullet comments just dey mad.

[See this second male lead mouth! Plot suppose be say female lead go find out herself, why he dey talk am?]

[Abeg, make person give this second male lead ten slap, I vex!]

[He no even sabi him role? Na so so wahala he dey cause.]

[Even though he be second male lead, na him be official boyfriend… abeg, no drag me, I talk my own.]

For my mind, I just dey reason say if person no speak for himself, dem go write am off. Na so e dey for here.

I look one side.

I refuse make my eyes meet Goke own. If I look am, wahala fit burst.

Chika pull my sleeve. "Goke, Seyi really dey get carsick. How about you drive, make Seyi sit for front…"

Her voice soft, like person wey dey beg elders settle fight.

Before she finish,

Goke don vex.

He pull seatbelt, "Chika, you sef. Na just passenger seat. I no go sit there again, okay?"

He bang car door well.

The sound loud, people for car park look our side. E mean say e really pain am.

But instead make he enter driver seat, he waka go another side.

He bounce as he waka, hand for pocket, face strong like say e wan fight.

After we enter car,

Chika still dey think.

She bite lip, hand dey her lap. Her eyes dey far, like person wey dey calculate how wahala start.

I call her once.

My voice low, but caring.

She pause. "Seyi, I… I no do Goke bad so?"

Her tone get regret. Na Naija babe, always dey worry say dem do person bad, even if dem no wrong.

Goke and Chika na same area dem grow.

Dem be Ajegunle pikin, the kind friendship wey e hard to break. If you see their parents for street, dem go just dey hail each other, dey talk old story.

Their parents still be padi.

Dem dey do birthday together, even Christmas, their mama go cook together, share food for yard.

Few days later, her mama hear the gist.

Auntie talk calm calm. "That Little Goke… since small, e no dey know boundary. E good as you remind am, but to pursue am commot for car… e too much small…"

Her voice gentle, but you go hear advice inside. For here, elders dey settle wahala with soft word, but you go know say dem mean am.

"Little Goke vex reach house, no gree chop, fever catch am that night, na drip e dey use for three days before e get better…"

Na pity dey her voice. If person pikin sick for area, all the mamas go dey talk am for prayer meeting.

After call finish,

Chika just dey feel guilty.

She hold her chest, her eye red. Guilt dey weigh am down. For Naija, if wahala happen, na woman dey carry am for head pass.

She look me. "Seyi, make we go beg am…?"

She dey expect support, dey find who go join her solve the matter.

[Why female lead dey ask second male lead? Just do wetin dey your mind, follow your heart. You know say you care, main guy dey wait you.]

[True, you don dey distracted since. Just go console am, main guy go dey alright.]

[No more sad love, make second male lead commot abeg! I wan see love and kiss!]

[No worry, plot dey come. This food go change everything for main guy and female lead. Soft girl go realise na only Goke really care for am.]

Na so Naija gist dey, everybody wan see better ending — love, food, apology.

Chika just dey frown.

Her face serious, she no smile. You go know say she don make up her mind.

She make up her mind. "I go call am, invite am for dinner make I apologise."

She talk am like Yoruba aunty wey wan settle fight for owambe. Dinner na peace offering for here.

I nod slow.

My neck move gentle, approval dey my face.

"No wahala. I dey your side."

Assurance na everything. For relationship, support dey give woman heart to push.

As expected.

Once Chika ask, Goke just gree like bullet comments talk.

His yes sharp, no stress. For mind, I know say e don dey wait make she reach out.

But as we enter private room, him face still pale.

E never really recover from the wahala. The sickness still dey his body. For our side, if man sick for love, e dey show for face.

E clear say him just recover from serious wahala.

The room full with their friends.

Everybody dey laugh, dey gist, but tension still dey hang for air. Dem dey look us, dey watch who go talk first.

Goke first look Chika, then look away, pull chair one seat from her.

He wan form distance, but eye still dey her side.

"This time I go sit far. Make your boyfriend no force you pursue me again…"

He drop am like joke, but shade dey inside. Na so Naija boys dey yarn if dem dey jealous but no wan talk am clear.

Just that one talk,

Everywhere just hang.

The laughter pause, air heavy like rain dey fall for inside room.

But he still look me, dey smile like nothing happen. "This distance dey okay, Seyi?"

Him eye dey search my face, like say e wan see if I go spark. But I just look front, dey sip my malt, dey act like say all these drama na just ordinary gist for road side bar. But for my mind, I dey ready. If dem wan drag, make dem drag—na my babe I go fight for.

Chika order jollof rice, dodo, and big turkey leg—peace-offering wey no fit fail for Naija.