Chapter 1: Devil Write My Name for Aba

That year for Aba, when serial killer wahala start, na my name devil write for list. As I dey waka home from school one afternoon, the kind trouble wey fit swallow person just land for my head. My teacher—dem dey call am Ojo One Blade—no even reason am, he jump into the wahala just to save me. People for street still dey talk am today—how he no even remove shoe before he rush come. But as he rush, na him head jam concrete for staircase, wahala now enter our house permanently.

From that day, silence settle for our parlour. Even the wall clock stop for shock. My teacher dey bedridden for three whole years—he dey like iroko tree after thunder—strong, but no fit stand again. I no leave am; I be like im shadow, day and night. I go feed am, clean am, sing old Igbo songs for am. I even marry him pikin, Ifeanyi, so the family no go scatter. Even church women dey come advise me—"Na your cross, carry am." People for our street dey talk, some dey pity me, some dey shake head. But inside my chest, I just dey count the days wey hope go come back. I marry Ifeanyi, but e be like say na my teacher I dey marry too.

But I never know say Ifeanyi get devil hand for inside love. Darkness still dey hide for inside another darkness. The man wey I hope go hold me, na him own hand begin show me pepper. The kain pain wey person dey see for film, I begin taste am for real life. Nobody go believe if I talk say tears dey sweet pass some of the nights I spend with am.

By seven in the evening, even Aba breeze don tire. All the house get that quiet, heavy air wey dey come before rain. Those sunflowers wey I buy from mama Nkechi shop, dem head bend as if dem dey pray. Light from NEPA no too strong, so everywhere just dey dim.

The key for the door twist small, then na so the familiar smell of engine oil and sweat, and small scent of ogogoro wey never dry, enter the house. I no need look before I know who be that. Ifeanyi dey always drop him shoe with one kain noise, like say na war zone e dey come from.

His walk dey sharp, heavy, as if him dey vex with ground itself. Even the gecko wey dey hide for ceiling pause, watch am. Ifeanyi, with that him old briefcase wey the handle nearly cut, step inside as if the house belong only to am.

I wiped the pap from the corner of my teacher’s mouth with a tissue, carried the bowl, and headed for the living room. But just as I stepped out of the teacher’s room, Ifeanyi had already entered.

I pause small for the door, balance the tray for hand. My back dey pain me but I hold am, no let anything drop. As I step out, our eyes jam for corridor—one look fit tell the story of our marriage.

"You don come back," I said, just to greet him.

My voice low, like say I dey fear am. Na so we dey greet for house—greeting like say na examination I dey write.

Ifeanyi dropped his bag and glanced coldly at the room. "My papa don chop?"

The way Ifeanyi dey look inside teacher room ehn, e be like say I thief something put for inside. Im eyes dey carry wahala.

"Mm." I nodded quietly.

I keep my eyes for ground. I no wan make him see any tears wey wan come out. For this house, even nodding dey heavy for my neck.

Ifeanyi looked at me, his voice full of mockery: "So na so you dey serve man, abi? No wonder dem dey call you my papa wife outside."

He add small hiss wey cut my skin pass needle. I dey feel the eyes of neighbours, all the gist wey dem dey carry for compound. Sometimes I wan shout, but wetin my shout fit change?

"I just want make he get well quick," I replied.

As I talk, my voice nearly crack. If you look me well, you go see say my mind dey far. No be say I wan collect another person papa, I just dey try do wetin go make my heart quiet small.

Ifeanyi walked up to me, his eyes flashing with anger as he asked, "You marry me by yourself, or you marry me because of am?" This one no be the first time wey he dey ask me this question.

Na the same wahala like rain—if e start once, e go come every week. I for like answer am well, but I don tire for the talk.

I avoided Ifeanyi’s eyes.

I just dey look my feet. My slippers old, the rubber don cut before, but na me use super glue repair am. I dey count the cracks, as if the answer for life dey hide for there.

Teacher Ojo dey always try talk, but wetin dey come out na just mumu noise, sound wey dey break my heart. I fit see the apology for him eyes. E go dey blink, try call me with the small power wey remain for him body.

Three years ago—

That day wey devil show face, na so everything change. Im strong hand wey dey always draw diagram for class, now no fit even scratch him head. The shock dey for everybody face, but na me the thing pain pass, because na me e try rescue.

Ifeanyi vex for the noise, he shout enter the teacher’s room: "You fit keep quiet? E dey pain you as I dey scold her? That time, you fit give Mama heart transplant—why you no save her?"

Ifeanyi voice fit scatter glass. As him shout, all the dust for window begin shake. The thing pain me for body, but na only God sabi wetin dey Ifeanyi heart. E dey talk say if papa fit save person that time, why e no save him mama?

"Wuwu..." The teacher started to cry, the sound weak and pitiful.

The kain cry no be for child mouth. The tears just dey drip for him cheek. I wan hug am, but hand no fit reach, so I stand for front of Ifeanyi like wall.

Inside my head, I dey beg God—make Ifeanyi spirit calm like river after rain. I no fit watch the teacher dey cry, so I stand for front of Ifeanyi, block am, and beg, "Ifeanyi, abeg, no do like this. He don already feel guilty. Before we marry, we agree say: I go be your wife, but you no go stop me from taking care of the teacher, especially as na your papa."

Mama warn me say, "No use pity marry man." But I no listen. My voice dey shake as I beg am, I fit taste the salt for my tears. Even neighbours for corridor fit hear my plea. For this Aba, person dey shout abeg pass "hello" sometimes.

That time when Ifeanyi propose, the only thing wey I ask for na make I dey with the teacher every day to look after am.

People for street talk say I get witchcraft, say which kain woman go ask that kain thing as marriage condition. But I no care. My mind dey for who dey suffer pass.

Even if nobody gree me, my heart no dey lie. Teacher Ojo na like papa, brother, and friend join together. E dey inside my prayer every night.

"No dey remind me about that agreement."

Ifeanyi talk like person wey dey drag block. You fit see say the matter dey chop him inside. E be like say agreement turn curse for him.

Na so some things dey. Wetin suppose bring peace, sometimes fit scatter body. As he talk, my heart dey beat fast, like say thunder dey knock drum inside me.

His eyes sharp, he roar at me, grab my wrist, drag me strong into the bedroom. He throw me for bed, press me down, begin tear my clothes.

Him hand dey rough, like say I offend him for dream. For inside that room, the window dey shake as I fall for bed. My mind just dey spin.

"No! Wetin you dey do? My body no dey okay..." I panic for inside.

I try hold my wrapper, but e no work. The pain for my chest and the fear for my mind begin dance together. I dey pray for inside, but my mouth no fit shout.

Ifeanyi no send me, he just lower him head, dey bite and kiss my neck anyhow.

E teeth dey sharp, I dey feel am pass bone. For my village, dem dey talk say if person no love you with tenderness, im own love na wahala. Ifeanyi own, na pain dey follow am.

I struggle, beg am: "Ifeanyi, abeg, no do am."

My voice low, but I still try beg am, maybe him heart go soften. Even mosquito for room quiet, dey listen.

"No be the agreement be this?" Ifeanyi hold my neck tight, his eyes cold and wicked. "Na you talk am: as long as I allow you take care of am, you go marry me. Now you wan change mouth? No wahala. Tomorrow I go carry am go old people home, you no go see am again."

The way he dey talk, fear catch me. I know say for this our culture, to carry elder go old people home na abomination, unless person no get family again. My heart dey cut, I dey beg for my own sanity.

I no get strength to fight am, I just close my eyes.

My tears just dey roll for pillow. I dey pray make morning reach quick, make all this thing end.

Ifeanyi hand dey shake as he hold my neck, but finally he release me, lower his head, whisper for my ear: "Nkechi, I no fit continue like this. Abeg, if e still dey like this, I go craze."

The pain for him voice deep. I feel say maybe him own wahala plenty too, but e no get right to pour am for my body. For inside my chest, small pity dey grow for am.

I feel Ifeanyi tears.

Warm water touch my chest, wetin pass physical pain. Even devil dey cry sometimes. I hold him head, try give am small comfort.

"Sorry." I hold Ifeanyi head for my chest.

I rub him hair, like say na pikin I dey pet. My hand dey tremble, but I try.

Ifeanyi talk softly, "Make papa go old people home. I go take care of you well, anything you want, I fit do am."

I dey look am, I no fit trust wetin he talk, but I still nod small. Sometimes, person go just dey promise anyhow for night. I kiss him forehead softly, like prayer.

I no talk, I just kiss am small.

The kiss weak, but Ifeanyi grab am. Na so our love dey—a mixture of pain and small small hope wey dey quick fade.

Because of my kiss, Ifeanyi respond. His love for me dey too much, just as my own for the teacher dey too much.

This our love triangle na wahala. People dey envy me for street, but dem no sabi say na only God dey see my pillow every night.

That night, I count my breath for darkness, dey pray make Ifeanyi no come near. But for this house, even sleep dey fear to enter.