Chapter 4: Blood, Betrayal, and a Slap

Ayo no come house that night.

The house empty, silence loud. My wrapper dey tight for chest, the ceiling fan dey creak. Na this kind night, old memories dey bite person.

First time he no come back. E mean say the small girl dey enter him eye.

My heart cold. I count time, check phone, but nothing. Before, even if rain dey fall, he go come back. Now, one small pikin don carry am go.

Before, no matter how e waka, he dey always come back night.

Even when we quarrel, he go still come home. He dey say, 'Make you no fear, I dey here.' Now, na only silence dey answer me.

Because he dey fear make I no get nightmare.

Back then, if I cry for night, he go hug me, tell me story till I sleep. Those days don pass.

When I wake for afternoon, blood just dey come out my nose.

I jump up, fear catch me. The blood thick, red, no wan stop. I dey panic, dey shout my housegirl, 'Bisola, towel!' My hand dey shake.

Fear catch me, I rush hospital.

I run wear cloth, jump enter Bolt. Driver dey ask, 'Madam, you dey okay?' My voice no loud. I just dey pray say no be spiritual attack.

I dey fear say I go die like those girls for Africa Magic wey the man go regret later.

My mind dey imagine all the Nollywood scenes—woman die, husband kneel for grave, dey cry, 'I go change!' I no wan be that person.

I no wan die, I no send Ayo regret.

I dey beg God for back seat, 'Abeg, spare me. No let me die for this Lagos.'

I wan live reach 100, get money wey go last me till I old finish.

I dey calculate my savings, the estate I still dey build for Ibadan. I get plan, I no fit go now.

For hospital lounge, I dey watch yeye Nollywood drama, dey wait result.

The TV dey show one pastor dey slap evil spirit, people dey shout 'Blood of Jesus!' I just dey scroll phone, dey try forget my wahala.

Halima waka enter.

She burst in, her perfume strong. Her heels dey click for tile, everybody dey look her. She act like say she own the world.

"See who dey here." She greet me with smile.

Her smile sharp, fake. I just eye her, no answer. My head dey spin.

She remove coat anyhow, show hickey for neck, red like tomato.

She want make I notice. The thing dey obvious—she dey proud say she collect my husband last night. Her eye dey shine.

I no even get mind to talk.

I face my phone, pretend say I dey read chat. I dey pray make she no too loud, make nurse no gossip.

She sit down, give me her test result.

She drop am for my lap, like say na Christmas gift. Her face dey proud, mouth dey curve.

"I get belle." She raise head, proud.

She tap her belly, do like say she dey rub am. Her eye dey shine, voice loud. Some nurses dey peep from corner.

"Ehn? Na my own?" I act surprised.

I open eye, raise brow. I dey mock her, but she no catch am.

She look me like say I dey mad. "You dey craze? Na Brother Ayo own now."

She squeeze face, hiss. Her voice loud, make sure everybody hear. She dey parade herself.

"Okay." I nod. "Go tell am then."

I act cool, but my chest dey burn. I dey wait make she use her mouth disgrace herself well.

I think say Ayo just dey talk about pikin to please him parents, no know say person really carry belle for am.

This one pain me pass. I dey wonder, 'So na me still dey hope say my marriage fit better?' Shame dey my chest.

Halima hiss: "Brother Ayo no sleep house last night, abi? He dey with me. I just tell am say I wan chop catfish pepper soup wey he buy, he run leave you come meet me. We do am from night reach morning. He say na me he love, say before me, e no know say sex sweet like that."

She dey boast, like say na championship she win. Her voice loud, people dey peep. I dey wish make ground open swallow me.

I touch my nose, feel awkward.

I press my nose small, try hide embarrassment. For Naija, if woman dey disgrace you for public, e dey pain double.

Which kind public blue film be this?

I dey wonder, 'Na me dey watch blue film for real life?' My inside dey twist. I dey shame, but I no wan show am.

I just tell her: "Abeg, lower your voice. Na this kind thing you dey proud of? No be you dey shout about side chicks? Now you be side chick, you dey brag. You believe man talk for bed? You no be the first, you no go be the last."

My voice firm, I dey try gather the last respect wey remain. Some nurses dey giggle. Halima just raise nose.

She no send me, continue: "Morayo, we both go university. Abeg respect Brother Ayo feelings. He no love you again. You don old, you no reach him level. Na only me and Brother Ayo get real love."

She dey talk like say na degree she get. Her pride dey make me laugh, but her words dey cut me.

I laugh: "Which kind school teach person to dey shameless? See, na human feelings person suppose respect, no be animal urge. If man keep you as pet, you think say you special? If he love you, why he never divorce me marry you? No dey deceive yourself."

I use my hand fan myself, dey act like say her matter no reach my level. My heart dey beat, but my face no show am.

She vex, her voice loud.

She stand, hand for waist. "Morayo, no think say I no know. Na guilt you dey use hold am. No love between una. Every time he touch you, na manage. He say you dirty."

Her words sharp, like knife. I dey shake, but I dey pretend strong.

"Na Ayo tell you all this?" My heart just cut, body dey shake.

My voice low, almost like whisper. My chest dey heavy—so my own husband dey finish me for another woman hand.

Old memories rush my mind.

I remember the days wey I give am everything, fight the world for am. Tears dey my eye, but I hide am.

Blood dey hot for my body.

My head dey spin, my hand dey shake. I dey count my breath, dey try hold myself.

She see as I react, she proud: "Yes, he even show me the video. Every time we dey knack, we dey use your video as background. He say if he see you for nightgown, e dey vex am. Just make you no shame too much, he just..."

Her words dey echo, like church bell. I dey blank. My head dey hot, blood dey rush my ear.

My hand dey tremble, but my anger dey control me. I see her mouth still dey run, my eye just blur.

Before she finish, I slap am.

My hand loud, the sound echo for room. Everybody freeze. She hold face, her eye big. I no regret am, my anger just boil over.

She hold face, shout, jump up: "Ah... You slap me? I go tell Brother Ayo..."

Her scream loud, but I no dey hear. My own pain don cover everywhere.

E be like say plenty ants dey my head. Her mouth dey move, but I no hear again.

I dey see her talk, but na only buzzing I dey hear. My hand dey shake, my eye red.

"Go die, die for me." I no fit hold am, I grab her neck.

I move close, hand tight for her throat. The anger don blind me, my mind blank. My breath fast.

She no react at first, her face dey red, dey suffocate.

Her hands dey beat my arm, she dey struggle. Her eye dey big, fear full her face. My own eye dey empty.

Her hand dey move anyhow.

She dey scratch my hand, dey kick chair. People dey shout, nurse dey run come. I no even care.

I just watch as her breath dey slow.

Na for that moment I see my reflection for glass. My hand release small, my mind return. I realize say I don cross line.

Na that time my anger cool small.

I drop hand, my body dey shake. Tears dey my eye, shame dey my soul. I just collapse for chair, dey cry. Nurse rush come, drag Halima go.