Chapter 3: The Sacrifice

After I calm down, I quietly make breakfast and chop alone.

Bread and ewa agoyin—beans soft, stew peppery, the way Lagos women sabi cook am. Na only me for table. Spoon dey shake for my hand, but I force am enter mouth. Silence dey heavy for air.

Then I waka go factory go find supervisor.

The walk long, sun dey hot. I pass mechanic workshop, greet Mama Chidinma for gate, wave give small pikin wey dey hawk guguru. My shoe dey kick up dust, but I no send.

"You never submit your application, wetin make you change your mind?" the oga ask.

Oga Bello get strong face, voice loud. Him desk dey full with old file, cigarette dey burn for ashtray. Na real old-school man, always dey chew bitter kola.

I smile small. "Oga, abeg no vex."

I bend small, humble myself. For this life, humility dey open door.

He wave am off, give me back the application. "Comrade Morayo, to get admission for Kaduna University of Technology na big honour for our factory."

He dey proud as he talk am, mouth dey twist like person wey dey swallow praise. Other workers for office dey peep us.

"Just two days ago, I dey beg Comrade Tunde say e go pain if you no go. I no expect say na today you go change your mind."

He look me for eye, like person wey dey try read my thought. For Naija, everybody dey mind people matter.

"E be like say Comrade Tunde mouth get power."

Dem laugh small for background, people dey nod. I just keep face straight.

I thank the oga, collect the application, come waka comot from factory.

I bow small, say, "Thank you, sir." E no easy to get people wey go speak for you, even if na only mouth dem get.

As I reach outside, I just tear the application scatter, throw am for dustbin.

Na so I tear am slow-slow, as if every piece na one year of my life wey pass. Paper dey fly, breeze carry small piece go gutter.

As I look the pieces for inside bin, I just laugh at myself.

Tears prick my eye, but I just wipe am. For this Naija, if you cry for street, dem fit think say you dey craze. Na bitter laugh. I shake head, say, 'See mumu love.' My mind dey flash all the times wey I think sacrifice go bring reward. Lesson don set.

So, the oga even try beg Tunde make he allow me go Kaduna. But he no talk anything give me. Instead, he rush me say make I come collect the application back quick.

Tunde sabi package well. If person no look well, you go think say he dey care. But na only him mind e dey protect.

For my last life, I sacrifice my own future just to support am, make he fit go school without wahala.

Neighbours dey hail me, say, 'Good wife.' Even my papa-in-law call me jewel. But all na for surface—inside, I dey rot.

And wetin he do? For university, he find person wey understand am pass.

As dem dey do project together, people begin dey talk. I hear gist, but I choose to trust. Na that trust wound me last last.

And for her sake, he block my promotion for ten years.

Ten years no be beans. I dey count days, dey hope. But every year, na the same story.

Last last, he use all him connection protect him office darling, push me one side.

People dey talk for back, but me—I dey suffer am alone. Na woman matter, dem go say.