Chapter 1: As E Dey Hot, Na So I Dey Cool Am

After my succubus genes wake up, I start to dey milk that arrogant CEO, Obiora, for everything e get. Every hot night, I’d still give him an average review. As e dey hot, na so I dey cool am with three-star—no dey carry last.

If you see as I dey arrange that guy ehn, you go pity am. Sometimes, after all the energy and shakara, I go just drop "three star" for am—no pass. My wahala no dey tire.

He, with all him pride, go just hiss and try to prove himself again.

Obiora go vex, hiss like agama lizard, chin up as if say I challenge am for street. E go do like say e no send, but next thing, e dey find another way to impress me. That one dey sweet me die.

I use this trick for three whole years.

Three years o! I dey run my own show. Even my girls for WhatsApp dey hail me: "Ifeoma, na you carry hand for this Lagos."

Until my family find me perfect contract partner.

All these matchmaker aunties and abroad uncles don dey disturb my phone. My mama carry am for head like new Ankara—"Ifeoma, make you no waste our bloodline." As if say I be bottle of palm wine wey go spoil for shelf.

Just as I ready to make my escape, na so bullet comments begin flash for my eye:

[Girl, you wan find wahala? If you run now, na only plain pap and old doughnut you go chop till you old.]

[That poor second male lead still dey naked, dey buy all those lace pant and masquerade cloth, no even know say—BAM!—him main wife wan ghost am~]

[I no fit with these two. Three years together, dem no know say both of dem na succubus? Always dey form, dey tiptoe. Just imagine the madness when dem both show their real self—abeg, rerun that scene where tail wrap waist!]

[Aaaa, supporting babe, run! I dey wait to see second male lead craze when e realize say dem don play am like mumu, e go turn dark mode, you go end up dey weed for North Pole.]

The way those bullet comments just land for my eye, na so my spirit first comot body, before e come back. Which kain wahala be this? Sometimes, I dey reason say all these spiritual wahala na by force for people like us.