Chapter 1: Divorce for Bullet Comments

After three years of marriage to my incubus husband, I asked for a divorce.

The air in the parlour that day heavy like rain wey wan fall—generator hum low for outside, and even the wall clock sef quiet. You know that kain silence wey dey drag for head, as if the whole world dey wait for person to make mistake? I fit hear my own heart dey beat gbim-gbim as I hold the divorce paper. My palm dey sweaty, biro just dey shake for my hand. For my mind, na freedom I dey pursue, but wahala still dey, e no dey ever finish.

Just as I was about to sign the papers, lines of bullet comments suddenly appeared in front of my eyes:

[Finally divorced! The side character and the male lead get so many emotional scenes. This author sef, na the side character be her real pikin or wetin?]

[The naive female lead’s countdown to redeeming the incubus boss starts now.]

[The male lead loved her for ten years. This side character just dull, wicked, and blind. Good thing her ending na pure wahala.]

[Side character, abeg shift. Know your place as extra for story.]

[I just love the pure hate ship, lol.]

[Fans of the side character above, abeg no dey yarn dust. The incubus boss and the delicate female lead na the real couple.]

The words fly in front of me like say na Nollywood film I dey act. I blink sotey my eyes pain me, but e no vanish. My hand paused above the signature line. Sweat dey drip for my back, my mind dey race. I remember Mama prayer last week: “No rush leave your husband, Amaka. Marriage no be beans.” I looked up at the cool, calm man whose ears were already red. “Obiora, I no wan divorce again.”