Chapter 5: Chemistry Pass Juju

“Better brother, you… you dey alright so?”

“I dey. Great Chief, since physical attack no dey work, I gats bring out my secret weapon!”

“Secret weapon?”

“Chemistry!”

Sango no dey fear physical attack—Journey to the West talk am clear.

But chemical attack? Lai lai. For book, dem write am: dem suck am enter Calabash and Yin-Yang Two Pot, e almost turn to water and pus. I no sabi the full science, but I sure—na chemical reaction.

Chemistry na to break old bond, form new one—atoms go change, matter go change. Sango turn to pus? Na chemical process sure pass.

Plus, Sango like palm wine—e dey drunk, so e brain dey work for alcohol. E mean say e no dey immune to alcohol.

Thank you, Mendeleev. Thank you, periodic table of elements. For this masquerade world, una give me small hope.

The way I dey reason all these science for masquerade cave, even Ogun go dey proud for me. For Naija, science na real weapon—na so dem dey use am mix poison for film, or arrange small ogbonge juju for real life. For my mind, I fit hear my old chemistry teacher voice: "No let anybody use your head, use your sense!"

“Una don hear of ‘Immortal Water’ before?” I ask.

Great Chief and Second-in-Command think am, then shake head. “Never hear am.”

“C4H8O3…” I mutter.

“Better brother, na incantation be that?”

“No be incantation, na molecular formula—hydroxybutyric acid. E fit block human nervous system. If e reach 52 microgram per milliliter for body, person go sleep like log. E dey work straight for brain, just like alcohol. To handle Sango, na the best way be this. The main thing be say, if the hydroxybutyric acid pure, e no get colour, e no get taste for water—nobody fit notice am. E silent pass ogogoro wey dem mix with paracetamol—nobody go sabi.”

Great Chief and Second-in-Command look each other.

“Eh, this one…”

I no even send their confused face, I continue: “I need plenty bitter leaf and limestone, to get ephedrine and hydrochloric acid, then use am make bromophenylacetone—the main thing for hydroxybutyric acid. I no fit get am 100% pure here, but if una give me time, 80% pure dey possible. So, una go find out where Father Mbaka and e people dey, how soon dem go reach Odo Idodo Ridge, and plan well. Also, give me your best workmen—I need beaker, clay pot..."

Great Chief and Second-in-Command just dey look me like say na stone dem turn.

“Oya, move!” I clap hand. “Make una dey go!”

Na so the two of dem, as if dem just wake from dream…

Dem rush begin call their boys, make dem gather bitter leaf, limestone, clay pot—na local science laboratory set up sharp sharp. Even for masquerade world, the way dem dey obey sharp instruction, you go know say Naija person don enter their midst. As dem dey argue, one masquerade dey shout, 'Oga, na you last use this clay pot for pepper soup!' Another dey complain, 'Abeg, make we hurry, before Great Chief change him mind.' I dey smile, dey plan next move, my body dey vibrate with small hope say this my chemistry wahala go fit save me. If dem like make dem bring Sango, Ogun, Esu join body, my periodic table no go fail me for here! As I dey mix my chemical, I dey pray say masquerade no go wise up—because for this cave, na only my sense dey guard me, no be juju.