Chapter 2: Year-End Insult

When I see my year-end bonus na just 1,500 naira, my body shock.

As I open the brown envelope, na so breeze blow for my belle. 1,500 naira! For wetin? As in, even recharge card sef, I fit finish am for one weekend. I look the paper, check am twice. E no get how I wan take explain this kind insult give my wife for house. Na serious yawa.

My mind dey flash my wife face—she go ask, "Tunde, na so dem dey pay big man?"

Me wey be sales director for company wey dey make tens of millions every year, na just 1,500 naira dem give me as bonus.

I remember when I dey sign contract, everybody dey call me Baba Sales, dey follow me for canteen. E shock me say na like this dem wan thank person. Na so life dey turn. Make you shine your eye.

Abeg, that one na pure rubbish.

Omo, even for Lagos Island, conductor no go gree collect that one for BRT change. I just dey boil. The insult no get part two.

Even sef, my team just close one fifty-million naira project before Christmas reach.

Na this kain thing dey pain pass. We just hustle sotay, even my wife dey complain say I never dey house. Christmas go reach, dem go ask me where the bonus dey, I go dey form big man with empty pocket.

I waka go accounts office straight.

Na that kain walk wey you no dey see road, just dey vex. Even cleaner sef dodge me. For my mind, I dey rehearse wetin I go talk. E be like say my shadow even dey vex join.

As I reach the door, na so I hear noise for inside:

"Wetin I mean? I don talk am clear. To talk am well, all of una just be workers—abeg, stop to dey shout like dog everyday. Na my small brother be the real oga here, so make una know una level."

I peep small. Na Aunty Bukky dey talk with her usual attitude. E be like say she dey vex since morning. That her ‘oga voice’ na another level. Everybody for inside just dey boil like beans wey dey burn for bottom pot.

"Na this company give una platform—if no be for here, una no go even fit chop."

Ahn ahn! See levels. See as dem dey talk to grown men and women like say dem be beggar for under-bridge. E pain me well. Even Musa, that one wey sabi do IT work, just dey shake head. You go know say e dey boil inside.

Before I fit enter, everywhere don already hot.

If dem dey sell wahala for market, this office for buy two baskets. Even ceiling fan stop to turn. Na serious gbege.

"Wetin concern us as workers? If no be us, company for dey where e dey today?"

Musa snapped, voice loud pass every other person. Na so e dey when money matter reach. E no dey take nonsense from anybody. Him eye red like say pepper enter am.

"Aunty Bukky, you don too talk. Wetin you mean say we dey shout like dog? Na our right we dey fight for—wetin dey wrong with that one?"

Ngozi hissed from Admin, joining the matter. That one no dey fear face. Even as she dey talk, her hand dey wave like market woman wey dey price tomatoes. E sweet me.

"True talk, true talk!"

Even cleaner, Baba Leke, add voice. For Lagos, everybody na activist when money no reach hand.

Someone muttered at the back, "Na so dem do last year, chop our bonus, give us biscuit."

Everybody join mouth.

Na chorus of complaint. If dem dey do protest, na now e go start. The air for office thick like rainy season cloud.

"Your right? Company give una better platform to grow, una still dey complain. Na only una pocket dey your mind. All of una dey do like servant for outside, but inside, na oga level una dey."

Aunty Bukky no dey gree. Her voice dey carry like generator wey no wan off. For her mind, she dey defend family business.

"So because you be oga sister, you fit dey run your mouth anyhow? You chop bad thing this morning?"

Musa vex reach neck. The way him talk, even printer stop to print. Everybody freeze small, dey wait wetin go sup next.

As I push enter, Aunty Bukky from accounts and Musa don nearly fight.

Na so I rush enter like peacemaker. My hand dey shake. I fit see say Musa wan use him hand show example. E for turn real Nollywood if I no enter.

I rush go separate dem.

My shirt tear small. Even my tie shift. The whole place scatter. I dey pant like say I run relay. Chai!

Who go believe—Aunty Bukky scratch my face.

My heart jump. For one second, everywhere quiet, then pain land for my face. As I dey try hold Musa, Aunty Bukky hand waka go my face, sharp sharp, e tear my skin. My eye see pepper. Na so blood small begin drip for my forehead. Office wahala, e no dey ever finish for Lagos.

"Ah! Oga face don bleed o! Everybody, abeg stop!"

Ngozi scream. Her voice echo for office. Even people for corridor rush come. My shirt don get blood stain. True, wahala don pass be careful.

For Lagos, na so dem dey baptize man with trouble.