Chapter 2: Breaking Ties

1.

Before I talk my mind give Tega, I don already prepare for rejection. But true true, I just think say e go be normal confession. Only two ways e fit go: If e work, we go dey together. If e no work, everybody go their own. But after that kain almost name-calling post—"Roommate na pervert wey like men, so damn disgusting"—wey fly for the campus WhatsApp group, I know say my life don change be that.

As the pings just dey bomb my phone, my hand begin shake. My phone cold like ice block, chest tight like person wey run relay without warm up. I fit even hear my mama voice for my ear: “Obiora, wetin you put hand for?”

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That time, heavy pain just press my chest like say I no fit even breathe. I squeeze pen for hand. I know say na Tega answer be this. Lesson for my oversabi self. Lesson for my naive confidence. Liking men na perversion, na big stain—people no even wan talk am. Still, I think say e go be normal, say I just happen like guy. Heh. How e go be the same?

I dey replay my words from that day, dey wonder wetin I for change. Shame hot for my skin, burn pass March afternoon sun. My throat dey scratch, I wan shout, but all I fit do na hold my breath swallow the disgrace. That moment, I just wish say make I disappear from campus, vanish like errand boy for Senate building.

2.

As everybody dey look me with strange eye, I drag myself reach hostel, face pale. The other three roommates dey, dey shout anyhow. But as I enter, everywhere just mute. Three eyes pin me for door. I look up see my wrapper and pillow throway for ground—soak anyhow. From the smell, person don use kai-kai baptize am.

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Kai-kai sharp smell choke my nose. Na so dem dey use ogogoro take drive spirit for village, now dem use am chase me. My slippers sef, dem throw one go corner, left one miss. I just feel like goat wey dem pursue from pen because e bring curse.

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Room leader Musa just dey look me anyhow, then wear face mask. "Who knows wetin people like you dey carry. God abeg o, make bad spirit no enter this room." "Disinfecting na the least we fit do." He hiss, tap him phone, dey fill hostel change form sharp sharp. "Chai, to share hostel with pervert—see bad luck." "Una don fill the hostel change form?" "Once we reach new room, I go buy Dettol, disinfect everywhere..."

Him voice ring like devotion bell, every word heavy like judgement. The other two just dey nod, dey look me like say I be contagious. One even whisper, "Make we burn the bed sheet join."

I pause, hand for plastic chair. I look up. Room change? Dem wan change room? Just because I... like men? My heart just sink. I look desk wey near me. "Tega, you dey support them too?"

Tega just dey sprawl for him desk, leg cross, face blank, dey scroll him phone. As I talk, him finger stop. He look up, just stare. Under the other two eyes, he twist him mouth give cold smile: "Wetin remain? Abeg, free me."

Him voice dry, but the pain choke pass slap. The Tega wey dey always make joke for wahala, na ghost remain now. Only cold, strange person dey there.

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3.

My stubbornness just die for that moment. I drop head. "Oh." Turn begin pack my load. "If una wan make I go, just talk. No need for all this acting." "I only like men, I no turn to woman." I say I go move out, but dem no pack. So all this na drama to pursue me? Sharp, fake people. Who really shameless and two-faced here, no be dem? As I dey think am, my packing rough. The small wooden horse wey always dey my desk fall comot from box, land for floor. "Crash." E scatter. Tega face change immediately. He slam phone for desk. "Wetin!" "Obiora, you dey craze? You wan die?" But for him eyes, I see small fear—like say he no really wan me go. The way he jump up, you go think say na sacred idol I break. Everybody eye dey on me. My hand dey shake as I bend pick the pieces, but I stop halfway, anger just dey boil. All these things—memories, gifts—wetin dem mean now?