Chapter 1: Midnight Landing

I land for Lagos midnight, drag my tired body out plane, first thing—text my sister.

The air outside the airport still carry that burnt diesel smell from generator, even for midnight. Agberos dey sleep for bench, one or two taxi men dey beg for last passenger. I fit feel my shirt cling to my back, tired sweat from hours of travel. My chest dey small dey drum as I reach for my phone—Naija never dull for wahala, especially for night.

[You don sleep, abi? Abeg, you fit come carry me from airport?]

She reply with a voice note, her tone playful and teasing.

[Which small pikin dey disturb person this midnight?]

[Oya, send me your picture.]

I no waste time, just video call her.

As I tap call, na so my heart do one kind flip-flop. All the airport light dey shine for my face, make me look like person wey just thief.

[Tomorrow, I go ask Mummy and Daddy how many small bros you dey find.]

My words heavy with that our family wahala-sweet play—if e no be teasing, e no go complete.

Immediately, my sister face change, she force awkward smile.

She drop her wine glass, eyes blink sharp-sharp like say I just catch her for bad thing. Wine splash for her Ankara gown, she squeeze face, dey try hide laugh. Na so Naija family dey—you fit dey form hard guy, but if dem call mummy and daddy, everybody go gentle.

[Big sis don mess up, abeg no tell Mummy and Daddy.]

[I go send my fine and well-behaved girlfriend make she come carry you.]

Her voice soft, small beg dey inside.

Later, this same 'fine girlfriend' wey my sister send, na so she begin dey date me for back.

Na so e take start, as if say all these midnight wahala dey arrange future for me behind my back. For Naija, you no fit plan who you go jam for this kind story.