Chapter 1: Dirty Laundry, Hot Secrets

When I fling the dirty nightgown land for my stepbrother face, na so WhatsApp status comments just begin waka for my eye:

[See this babe, she think say she dey punish am, but our guy dey enjoy every, every.]

[Na this kind pure-hearted second guy dey fall for that stubborn babe wey dey always give am wahala—only real shippers go sabi the sweetness~]

[Na pity say e no fit win that main guy wey be like say malaria dey worry am. If not, our babe for no dey end up like this, sob sob.]

I just freeze, then gently throw one old black stocking join the pile. As the stocking land join the heap, I hear small giggle from inside my mind—like gist dey hot for one backbenchers' WhatsApp group. Light breeze from the window waka enter room, carry small dust, as if e dey ginger the wahala wey I just cause. The smell of Omo and old sweat mix for air—if na my mama, she for don shout. Na real Naija house wahala, even mosquito for corner pause to listen.

Chijioke, wey don dey form hard man since, body just shake small. The guy no talk, but him Adam apple just move like person wey dey swallow groundnut wey get hard shell. Under the bulb wey dey blink for ceiling, I see as im hand no too steady. Even wall gecko wey dey for corner just freeze like e dey watch telenovela.

Na so WhatsApp comments scatter:

[Who talk say our second guy no get mind? Guy dey kampe!]

[Aaah, babe, abeg just pamper am jare!]

I just dey look the WhatsApp comments wey still dey waka for my eye. The comments just dey trip me—e be like say I dey inside Nollywood film wey dem do live premiere for Facebook, people just dey yarn anyhow for my mind. I shake my head small, try balance myself for the tile wey cold like morning ogi. I give the comments side-eye, mutter under my breath, "awon online people."

Chijioke dey crush on me?

How that one take possible?

The thing weak me. I dey try reason am, as if say all the times wey we quarrel, all those times na cover-up for wetin dey under. I remember the way e go dey look me when e think say I no dey see am—like Jollof rice wey just come down from fire, too hot to touch.

I try balance myself, turn face Chijioke, order am, "Wash these ones for me tonight."

If to say na before, my mouth no go let me talk am. But today, my voice dey shake small, as if I dey beg for trouble. The moment I talk am, I cross my hand for chest like senior sister. For my mind, I dey form boss-lady, but I know say my voice dey shake small. Mosquito for room just buzz like backup singer.

"Abeg hand-wash am—my cloth no dey enter machine."

I talk am like say na law. Na only stubborn girls for my area go fit talk to person like that. My cloth dey precious, e no fit enta all those machine wahala. Everybody for house sabi that one.

Chijioke look up, joy flash for him fine, seductive eyes, but e vanish sharp-sharp. The thing surprise me small, e be like say my words dey sweet and dey bite at the same time. I see as im face just change, like person wey dem serve soup with too much pepper.

"These na your private cloth," e talk, voice hoarse like nylon dey rub. "You sure say make I touch am?"

I pause small, but keep face strong. "Abeg, no waste my time."

I no want show say the matter dey shake me. I form stone-face, but inside me, my belle dey roll. Na Naija girl pride dey make me stand gidigba, no gree blink.

As I dey watch Chijioke carry the cloth enter bathroom, I linger small, then tiptoe follow am. The corridor dey silent, only my heartbeat dey knock like agidigbo drum. I nearly jam the wall sef. As I peep small, I see am arrange the cloth for wash-basin, serious like person wey dey prepare holy water.

Under the warm bulb, e stand for the clean sink, gently dey shake the pink cloth, then slowly carry that dull pink cloth near him mouth—colour like faded ankara wey sun don bleach.

I nearly scream—wetin concern mouth and dirty cloth? My chest skip. Na wah o! For my area, only person wey dey run love jazz—na charm wey dey confuse person heart—fit do this kind thing. I press hand for mouth, wan shout, but manage run carry myself waka comot.

My mouth open wide. I sharply turn run go my room.

If dem born me well, make I stand there. Na so leg fly, wrapper nearly fall for ground. I jump inside my room, lock door, back lean for wall. My head dey hot, my heart dey jump.

Chijioke truly get feelings for me—feelings wey e no suppose get.

My mind begin race like keke for rush hour. I no fit calm down, but I force myself. I dey try dey reason like Lagos big girl, but my chest dey vibrate.

I force myself make I calm down, dey recall those WhatsApp comments for my head.

So, na me be heroine for one old-school heartbreak romance story, wey suppose fall for the main guy, while Chijioke, wey dey hide crush, na the second guy wey go just dey love me for corner.

This thing resemble all those Yoruba Nollywood love triangle wahala. My own life don turn to home video. If to say this na film, by now dem go don play sweet sorrowful music.

As story go dey go, I go meet main guy, fall for am, then na so wahala go start.

For my mind, I dey picture main guy with beard wey sharp, eye dey shine, dey drive big car, na correct Lagos boy. He go dey wear agbada wey fresh, perfume dey announce am before e enter room, and all the aunties for party go dey eye am. I fit see as everything go scatter, na so people go dey shout for WhatsApp group.

I remember all those heartbreak heroines for the stories wey I don read, my body just cold.

My body dey shiver, like person wey thief cold meat for fridge. I no sabi if na fear or na shame. Heartbreak heroines dey always end up dey cry inside rain. God forbid!

Gentle knock land for my door.

The knock soft like person wey no wan disturb mama for midnight. My heart skip beat. I hear faint sound for corridor, like slippers drag for tile.

Chijioke voice come from outside: "Sisi, I don finish wash am. If you no get anything again, I go go downstairs."

I quickly open door.

I no even wait make e knock second time. I open door wide, face dey strong but my hand dey shake for handle. Light from passage shine for him face, make am look like person wey dey wait judgement.

Our eye jam, but na Chijioke first look away.

E avoid my eye, like say e dey hide something for pocket. Na that time I realise say I dey bite my lip—Naija girl wey dey try form hard but heart dey race.

As I notice say I dey act somehow, I feel one kind. "Erm, from today, no dey call me ‘Sisi’ again."

The words comot my mouth fast. For my area, if person call you 'Sisi,' e get as e be. I wan draw line small.

Chijioke eye open, confusion and surprise full am.

The thing weak am, like say NEPA take light. I see as him eyebrow rise, eye dey search my face. Silence heavy like PHCN blackout.

Na that time WhatsApp comments flash:

[No do am! If you stop am from calling you ‘Sisi,’ this pure-hearted puppy go dey cry for night~]

[Second guy too dey suffer. When e small, e injure him hand save heroine, now e no fit play keyboard again. Even this small joy, dem wan collect. E pain me die.]

My mind dey scatter. People for those comments dey para, dey fight for my matter like street supporters. I begin dey reason—wait, Chijioke save me before?

I shock. Chijioke save me before?

But I no remember anything.

I scratch my head, dey try dig memory. My brain blank like blackboard wey rain wash.

I shake head, remember as WhatsApp comments talk say Chijioke go later die for river to save me. My chest just heavy. "You no be papa pikin, but at least, na my brother you be by name. From today, just dey call me my name."

The thing pain me small to talk am, but I gats show say I no dey play. For my mind, na so e go dey. Family title no be beans.

Chijioke hand just squeeze together. I see as im knuckles dey white, like person wey dey hold remote wey refuse to change channel. E dey try compose, but im lips dey tremble small.

As I think say e dey vex, WhatsApp comments refresh:

[Aaaaah, brother sef dey show him mind now!]

[Who dey reason am? Chijioke big wish for life na to dey call babe by name, and today e don happen!]

[Una dey happy, but me I dey pity bathroom. How long this guy go dey inside cold shower to cool body tonight?]

The comments just dey run like market women for closing time. I nearly laugh, but I hold face strong—no let online people know say dem dey affect me. Shame dey catch me, but small joy dey mix inside.

My face just hot anyhow as I read comments. I shift back. "You fit go now."

I wave hand as if I dey chase chicken, but my heart still dey do gra-gra. If mama see me now, e go say I don dey catch feelings.

Chijioke still dey act lost, but as I talk, e just nod and waka go downstairs.

E no look back. Him slippers just dey slap floor—kpam, kpam, kpam—until the sound fade. Na so my room quiet again, only fan dey spin for ceiling.

As I dey watch am go, I just dive under my wrapper, finally breathe out.

My body just weak. I hug my wrapper like say na security blanket, face sink inside pillow. I no fit talk. My head full like rice pot wey dey boil.

I no even sabi wetin I dey feel—na just as if my heart dey scatter, dey turn up and down.

Na real Nigerian confusion. I dey float between vex, small shame, small sweetness. My mind dey twist like wrapper wey breeze blow.

Person wey I don dey give wahala from when I be seventeen reach twenty-two, wey never vex for me, but last last go still use him life save me…

My chest tight. I dey reason say even if I wicked, person wey dey do all this for me no deserve wahala. I touch my heart, sigh. E pain me.

How I go still hate person like that?

I press pillow for chest, dey wonder—if this na love, who go rescue me from my own wahala?