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My Wife’s Best Friend, My Heart’s Enemy

My Wife’s Best Friend, My Heart’s Enemy

Author: Elizabeth Maynard


Chapter 2: Night Palava

By 4 a.m., Ifeoma never still come house. I know say she no go return this night.

I just dey lie down dey look ceiling, window dey open small, breeze dey enter with night noise—distant okada horn, cock dey crow for one corner, the smell of last night’s rain still dey hang for air, mosquito dey hum for ear. House empty like church for Monday, only cock dey disturb silence.

Before, anytime this kain thing happen, I go dey boil, dey call her phone up and down.

My chest go dey drum like talking drum, hand go dey shake as I dey dial her number, dey wait for her to pick. Sometimes I go even send message for her WhatsApp—'Where you dey? Hope say you dey safe.'

But today, I just calm, not even small anger dey my body.

E shock me self, because my mind just blank, e be like say all my vex don tire.

She come back for morning, hold bread and Peak milk, dey smile for me: “I dey with Musa last night o. We just dey gist, time waka. I no wan disturb you for night, so I just crash somewhere else.”

She dey talk am as if na normal thing, even drop small laugh. She drop Agege bread, big tin Peak milk—na correct Naija breakfast. The Peak milk she drop for table na the big tin—the one wey you dey use do party pap. I just dey look am, dey wonder which kain wahala be this.

She wink for me, come talk, “No vex o, separate beds, abeg. Na twin room.”

As she talk am, she rub my arm small, dey try pet me like pikin. She think say all this one go make me relax. For my mind, I dey wonder if na me dey mad or the world.

Musa na her next-door neighbour. Dem grow up together—people dey call them childhood sweethearts.

For our area, dem know say na two of them dey waka about since dem dey wear pampers. Even her mama dey show me photo—Musa and Ifeoma dey wear matching aso-ebi for children party, dey carry party pack together. Everybody for street dey hail dem—'Romeo and Juliet of Festac.'

But as she dey always talk, she and Musa just be padi for life. She even dey joke say even if she stand naked for front am, e no go even shake am.

She go laugh loud, slap my back, talk say, "Musa dey see me finish. No be today. If I like make I naked, e no go reason anything." Na so she dey always talk, dey use laughter cover matter.

I don see her and Musa dey play anyhow, dey laugh, her hand for his neck or dey jump on his back. Musa no dey ever push her away; sometimes, he go even pinch her cheek.

Sometimes if dem two dey together, you go dey wonder if na twins dem be. Dem fit even dey sing together, dey do TikTok dance. Musa go dey tease her, she go slap am playfully for head. Me, I just dey carry face, dey pretend say e no dey pain me.

Anytime I see am, e dey do me one kain, I go carry Ifeoma comot, try remind her make she dey respect herself small.

I go call her for room, talk am low, "Baby, abeg, you be married woman. All this your body touch, e too much." Sometimes I go even drag her hand, dey whisper for her ear.

At first, she go try explain, dey calm me down.

She go dey rub my chest, dey talk say, "Oga, no dey think too much. Nothing dey happen. You be my only. Musa na padi. No dey jealous."

But later, she go just tire, shout, “We don dey together since we small. If we wan do, e concern you?”

Her voice go high, face go hard. She go drop plate for table, even raise hand like say she wan slap air. Sometimes na me go just carry myself comot, make I no go talk wetin go cause another fight.

And every time, Musa go just stand for corner, hand for pocket, dey form cool, “O boy, you too dey reason things. Ify no even be woman for my eye—na my small sister she be. I fit dey reason my own sister? Abeg, e no pure.”

He go use that his soft voice, dey shake head like say e dey pity me. You go see am, one kain sly smile for face, like say he dey play mind game. Other people go dey nod, dey say, 'E make sense na, nothing dey.'

As I dey look him, I dey always think: This guy na snake under green grass.

My mind go dey play film, dey imagine all the hidden gist wey I no know. For Naija, who trust man and woman wey dey say na padi dem be?

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